Hmmm. A fresh call from SIL.
We leave on Wed night for a long weekend with my ILs to celebrate our nephews HS graduation.
SIL just called my bride. From the second DW answered it was clear that something was up. SIL was in her pouty sullen voice which is a major tell when she is up to something.
After 30mins of random meandering topical discussion, SIL asked DW if we would go to dinner with her and her girl friend.
SIL is not even divorced from her DH and is trying to pimp her GF to my wife in some kind of begging for approval thing. DW is flumoxed.
She asked me what I thought and I told her that I of course would go with her if she chose to meet SILs cheat buddy GF but personally, I am not interested nor do I appreciate SIL trying to recruit my bride as some kind of "accept my cheat buddy" shield with the rest of the family.
Our nephew has already made it clear to his mother what he thinks of her and that he will not accept her choices or her GF.
Our son is gay. We have no issue that SIL is apparently a lesbian though she is claiming Bi. That she is a serially adulterous &$$6E999!~$ (pick whatever explitive that seems appropriate) I have a problem with and so does my bride.
Interestingly when we shared SIL's coming out and cheating with our son, he was rageingly pissed off with his aunt for being an adulterous characterless individual. No issue with her coming out. But a huge issue with her cheating.
If my bride decides to agree to dinner to meet the cheat buddy, I will have to be very careful during that nightmare event.
Cheating is a huge trigger for me.
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If your DW chooses to go to
If your DW chooses to go to the dinner, can you bow out?
Yes, I can bow out.
Though I won't. I will be there with my bride. I will not agrivate anything. But, neither will I tolerate my SIL trying to manipulate my bride into being her shield with the rest of the family.
Her own son wants nothing to do with her. MIL's sister was very vocal that SIL now has no place in her life.
SIL is working some manipulation of her son and the family. My wife I can protect though she does not need it. She knows her sister upside down, inside out, and backwards. She will struggle with guilt over having to hold SIL accountable, but she will do it. I will have her back.
TBH,
TBH,
Before your DW would go to lunch with the couple.. if she has conflicted feelings.. she should probably be having a private one on one with her sister..
I get that her sister is trying to align her to be able to tell family.. "oh.. well the GF is a lovely woman.. we shouldn't hold a grudge".
Great advice ESMOD.
I agree. If SIL and DW will do a 1:1 that is far better. If DW decides on meeting with SIL and the GF, I will be there.