Petty, cringing, visceral revulsion, my skin is crawling gag moment.
When DW is getting ready to visit her family she starts using voice inflections, speech paterns, and facial expressions that are a family thing. Beyond the IL clan family tone, inflections, wording, etc... are the additional and amplified version mY SIL uses. DW adopts a few things that are very similar to what my thief assed POS lying weasle of an SIL does though without the whiney "I'm spe.....cial" toddler thing that the POS SIL does.
When she lands in SpermLand and then drives to her small home town and is actually in the presence of her clan, it locks in. It is highly present when I am not there and we are talking on the phone. When I arrive it tones down because she perceives how I react to it.
It makes my skin crawl, I get the gag reflex and throw up in the back of my throat jvisceral revulsion thing and it just skeeves me out.
I know it is petty, I know it is my issue. I never say anything to her about it. I would not do that. But.... my reactions are visceral and I know she knows. I have to go completely stone faced, give no expression, and avoid responding to her until my stomach resets and she repeats the comment or asks the question again which is always in her real voice rather than the nauseating facade her family all use. Particularly her sister.
I just called her to check in and make sure she got in okay. Yep. "Hell-^uwow". And SIL's voice is nails on a chalkboard-ing in the background.
Bad Rags, bad.
I know this is all on me. I hate that I have this reaction. Fortunately I can far better cover my reaction on the phone I have to start my preemptive heavy drinking to prepare to follow her on Friday. The IL clan is gathering to celebrate MIL's 70th. Other than my SIL, and BIL1's bovine bride, and maybe ...... I enjoy time with them. Though what I enjoy most is how my DW lets her hair down and goes to her all country girl raised on a pig farm place. Which cracks me up. Designer shoes, purses on a pig farm is a very entertaining juxtaposition.
Time to get my anti nausea medicine and prepare for IL clan immersion.
Though I am probably hyper sensitive after the SIL and bovine bride shit show at Thanksgiving. I know, no making excuses.
- Rags's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
that would drive me mad also.
that would drive me mad also... BUT!!! in those moments just continue to be on your best behavior and learn to swallow that yucky stuff and work on them gag reflexes... *ROFL* YOU GOT THIS -
I am from down here in the southern states,born and bread and a very thick southern draw to boot... but mom and family are buckeyes whenever we go up north to visit family i always get so annoyed because mom and aunt are so mono tone
almost like something from a throw back black and white english comedy... literally so nasaly and the type to sip your tea with your pinky in the air type cinema moment. that is for me my NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD Coping mechanism...
I just imagine something funny and grind my teeth through it all and thank my lucky starts that i get a break from the children for a couple days,
Just FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE RAGS!!! *pleasantry*
- Wishing you lots of good juju, positive vibes or whatever it is y'all prefer there. *biggrin*
AGAIN... You got this <3
lol. Sounds like you sound
lol. Sounds like you sound like my mom and her family. A GA girl.
With my ILs it isn't really an accent. It is more like an adopted speech pattern thing that they shove down the ear canals of anyone present at clan gatherings.
It is rare that I hear the inflections out of anyone not a relative. It is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
I know it is petty, I know it
Idk why but this gave me a chuckle.
I'll say that you're human so it's natural to feel how you feel. You sound like a good husband and you don't hassle her about it.
I think it's natural to have
I think it's natural to have a few things that drive us nuts even in the best of marriages. My husband, love him, comes off as very aggressive (partly because he's hard of hearing so he thinks his voice is at a 4 when it's really at a 7). It's frustrating because it means I have to handle the more sensitive business interactions. (I'm pretty even tempered)
On the other hand I know there's a ton of things I do that drive him crazy. My anxiety means that many things have to be just so or I will have a panic attack. It also means I make mountains out of molehills, which I know is exhausting for him. I can be rigid and inflexible. I like my routines and my comfort zone. It can all be a bit much... I get it.
Small things, totally normal IMO. You're handling it well.
I know I'm a PITA to live
I know I'm a PITA to live with. My parents and my bride are in full agreement on that.