You know, I don't think I've ever responded to your posts before. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I think you have very valuable insight to share from a guy's perspective. I also think that you often just have good advice regardless of whether or not you're an idiot.
That being said, I would be much more receptive toward you if you quit using the term "sperm dad." See, coming from my perspective, that's very hurtful. My FH is spending about 2000/month. He brings home about 2400/month. Do the math. For that 2000/month, he sees his twins for 3 hours a week. Total. Every email from BM has his email saved as "sperm donor." It's very hurtful. It kind of goes along the same lines as calling every BM we don't like crazy. I'm just not a fan. Should our particular BM remarry someday, I hope she marries a nice guy who wants to do for the twins and be a part of their lives. At the same time, I would expect that he at least have enough respect for my FH to not call him "sperm donor." Now, my FH is probably a better participant in his kids' lives than your BD. However, reading that term is a big turn off to reading your posts IMHO, of course. }:)

To every thing there is a season.

however, in some cases, they are applicable, seemingly in rags' case. its the broad use of he term that makes it seem offensive.

regardless, this is a public forum and we all get our feelings hurt sometimes. though i dont know what happened to prompt the OP so im speaking in generals here

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

that we should "evaluate" each others posts. Respond or don't respond to the posts but if we knit pick at each other it will inhibit people.

We've been thru this before.

I think it's just fabulous that you took it upon yourself as not to offend... if we all shared this respect for each other, there would be no mindless bickering in this haven.

I think you have wonderful things to say and contribute! I think it shows a lot too that you were willing to take anabihibik's feelings into account (and mine from the PM I sent you months ago). I know that was never your intentions to offend. Just relay how you feel about worthless bio-parents...

And you are by far not an idiot... I also highly doubt that anybody else thinks so.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

vent away rags, that's why we're here, right? since spermdad probably doesn't visit this site, and you of course don't mean all non-custodial fathers, i don't find it offensive, but hilarious. sorry ladies, but i have to side with the MAN. our bms' refer to my fh along those lines and he finds it funny in a facetious sort of way. but bm/1 made it that way, and bm/2 had no clue who the bd was. it took her 8 yrs to find out in which we had no idea she existed.

PS i think what you do for your wife is on of the sweetest most selfless actions we can take. i hope she lets you know you're a princes among frogs

Thank you for addressing the comment I made on one of the threads here. Let me point out that this is a place to vent and that is what I was doing - if you took it personally as to blog about the fact that there are more BM's out there that are a pain in the ass great but it was not an attack on you or men in general - I was pointing out the fact that there are a lot of men that do not like confrontation and would rather lay down and accept their fate then argue - and from seeing all the postings here it seems to be a fact. There are a lot of things that you talk about in your blogs that are quite offensive but I and others can choose not to reply to them or acknowledge them because that is the way that you choose to speak and how you see the world and everyone is entitled to their own opinions. So I am just popping out of my hole today to say what is good for the goose is good for the gander my dear.

I know it is hard to be the only man in sea of women who are having trouble with their DH/FH/BFs "Getting It" It is so nice to have your input on here and i know it is probably hard to read all the men bashing all the time but we know that there are guys out there like you that stand up and BE A MAN! I say bravo - maybe you could hold a seminar for those guys that are just flopping over and not sticking up for themselves, their wives, g/f's kids, etc...you remind me of a great guy friend of mine who when i tell him some of the things I go through he always starts with EMA - first off let me apologize for my gender but you know we aren't all idiots!

Rags I am more confused by some of the terms you use but can usually get what you are saying. But I want to say too, I am glad you are here, braving the steps. We need at least one male perspective (where are you Steve?) so I hereby nominate you as an honorary SM - and when we say men are stupid you are hereby excluded!! To me you sound like a kind and thoughtful husband and sdad.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

He's actually just about perfect as far as dealing with BM and SD goes. I'm here because even withOUT contact BM irritates the heck out of me, and I get really frustrated with SD - so I'm here to learn and be supportive.

And yes, some of the vitriol being slung around has made me squirm a couple times. But I try to take it in the spirit it's made. Honestly, some of the behavior that has been described makes me wonder what such great people see in these men. They're not talking about MY DH, so I let it go.