It is the kid's car. But rather than write a ~20K check we got a low interest loan. The loan is in our name so the car is in our name. We will sign the title over to him when it is paid off which we were considering doing for his B-day in a few months. If we have to repo it for non communication it will go in to storage and we will pay it off and give it to him once we clear the note...... in a couple of years.

I completely understand the nature of a gift but this kid is one who has a repeated tendency to tune out the positive influences in his life and tune in to the dipshit morons he tends to chose as his friends.

I think this is a vestige of the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.

As for controling... nope. No more controling than my own parents were. He has had every freedom in the world, we expect nothing from him other than a telephone call once a week and an e-mail once every two weeks. He does not even have to do that if he would just answer his telephone.

We have never limited his friends though we he picked a loser we certainlhy expressed out concerns. We have never foced him to wear particular clothing other than clothing that was clean and servicable. He could pick his clothing. We have never required anything from him other than accademic performance to his capability, honesty, integrity and active participation in the family. We held him accountable for his actions and were there to dust him off and put him back on to a viable path with he fell.

When he finished HS we gave him the option of college on our dime. He did nothing to apply and get started so we gave him the option of living at home rent free and working. Nope, no effort to find a job. So we turned him in to our beck and call boy. He cleaned hte house, cared for the yard, changed the light bulbs, etc, etc, etc... When he figured out how to do the basic chores efficiently we added more. We kept adding more until he came to the conclusion that we hoped he would that it would be easier and more stimulating to get out on his own. So he enlisted. He did great for the first 9mos then he hooked up with his usual selection of dipshit losers and his historic behaviors kicked in.

So, if he wants his car, he calls. Call or walk. The decision is fairly simple.

As for Sr. Airman being able to afford %500/mo ..... he brings home ~$1000/mo. He has to feed himself, clothe himself, entertain himself, fund his IRA, pay for his leave travel (unless he joins us on a vacation, we will pay for that) and pay for his new I-Phone and ATT contract to the tune of $175/mo. The new phone we got him on our account was not cool so he had to have an I-phone. We told him if he gets his own account that it is on him. No, he can't afford $500/mo.

Again, all we want is a phone call and an e-mail occassionally.

If he has a problem with that he can be completely on his own. Not what we want but at this point he is making his choice abundantly clear.

Blackmail:

In common usage, blackmail is a crime involving threats to reveal substantially true or false information about a person to the public, a family member, or associates unless a demand is met.[1][2] It may be defined as coercion involving threats of physical harm, threat of criminal prosecution, or threats for the purposes of taking the person's money or property.[1][3][4][5][6][7][8] It is the name of a statutory offence in the United States, England and Wales, Northern Ireland, and Victoria, and has been used as a convenient way of referring to other offences, but was not a term of art in English law before 1968. It originally denoted a payment made by English people residing along the border of Scotland to influential Scottish chieftains in exchange for protection from thieves and marauders.[3][4]

Blackmail may also be considered a form of extortion.[1] Although the two are generally synonymous, extortion is the taking of personal property by threat of future harm.[9] It is the use of threats to prevent another from engaging in a lawful occupation and writing libelous letters or letters that tend to provoke a breach of the peace, as well as use of intimidation for purposes of collecting an unpaid debt.[4] Some US states distinguish the offenses by requiring that blackmail be in writing.[4]

Okay, since my wife and I own the vehicle there is no crime and this is not blackmail. We are not going to post naked pictures of the kid on FB for all to see or require any payment from him if ne does not call, or even if he does. In fact we want him to call us using the cell phone we provide and pay for.

No gain for us at all other than contact with our kid. If anything it would save us ~$6000/yr if we did not provide him with the car. So, is paying him with the car blackmail? Is taking it blackmail? Nope. Not in any sense of the word.

I could not give a flying rats ass why he calls us long as he does call us. If the periodic disapperance of his wheels miraculously heals his dialing finger for a period of time then so be it.

If losing his car does not motivate telephone calls then we save $6K a year and we still don't hear from him.

I see no down side to repoing his car until he starts calling. No calls after repo ..... then I have a great deal on a lightly used, well maintained late model Ford if anyone is looking.