Ive totally disengaged from sd18 &sd21.
Tonight i have gone out with SO and his skids and totally ignored the eldest 2.
He has finally noticed how rude they both are towards me and we had a good heart to heart about the future and how the girls and him are the ones that will suffer. I told him out right that they wouldnt be welcome to set foot in our house if they cant learn basic manners. I asked him how he would feel if my daughter treated him the same way as his do to me. He agreed he wouldnt want her in the house! This is huge progress.

After a shitty date night and a conv where SO agreed it was a crap night and apologised. I thought we were back on track.
Saturday we had arranged to all go together in one car to a swimming gala.
I get a text late friday night asking if we could take both cars as now sd21 has decided she is coming. This means we dont have enough room in the car, so basically i need to drive mine and be the only one in it.

Well....spoke with sd8 late afternoon and she told me BM told her not to speak to me. I explained that i didnt like to see her upset and i promised her that unless she spoke to me first when BM around then i eouldnt speak to her, but only if she agreed to look at me and smile. This would be our way of saying hrllo. She was very happy with that idea, i even joked that we could wink or make a silly face and she laughed and told me not to be silly!!
We then had a cuddle on sofa and she refused to go swimming with SO asking me to take her instead!

SO and I are done.
I love him dearly but clearly he doesnt feel the same way.
After a light hearted conversation about marriage that turned into a declaration of what he dislikes about me i can see no future with him anymore.
I was so hurt by his comments that he thinks I will stop him from seeing his family there is no way i can be with a man that thinks that of me.