You are here

Psycho BM and New problems w SD

Rachel81's picture

Submitted by Rachel81 on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 1:28pm

Facebook is evil and so is my SD BM. I wrote a general message on my fb forgetting how psycho my SD BM is and that she was even on my FB. Anyhow I wrote "Kids should be outside in the summer playing and having fun" Well my SD BM thought I was talking to her because she was aware from my SD that I disagreed with my SD (age 11) staying home alone all summer with her brother that is 7yrs old. Well anyways the BM thought that I was talking about her, which I wasn't my nephew is in the same situation and I was really referring to him. Well the BM flipped out on her FB stating that once I have my own child and stop playing house with her's then i would understand what it's like to have children. We have my sd 4 days out of 7 and she has been in my life since she was 5yrs old. My husband her BD and I are now married just celebrated our first anniversary. Well my husband called her asking her to apologise to me because I wasn't talking to about her. Well then BM started telling him that my SD was crying about all this and that she said that I yelled at her one time in the pool because she was swimming through my legs. Well I told her not to do it because there was several other kids jumping on me and she could have gotten hurt. Then my SD also complained that when she is with us (which is every weekend) that her BD and I always have friends over and he never spends time with her, which is in correct because it is my SD that is always playing with her cousins and not spending time with him. we are both so frustrated about this situation. I feel that BM is trying to get between our family by saying all this, but my SD shouldn't be talking about our house and what goes on there with her BM. I just don't know what to do. I have been great to BM family. She has a son with another man and I am always watching her son, and now she is using her daughter to do that. We have gone to court to support my SD because her mother was dating a 3rd man and was abused by him. CAS has also been in her home. I think that we are good to her and her family as well as my SD and there is no need for her to complain to her BM. Any advice would be great!!!

Comments

justanothergurlNJ's picture

Submitted by justanothergurlNJ on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 2:18pm

Delete and block. EVERYTHING I write on FB is about BM. I can say I am cleaning cat poop and BM will think it is about her. You know my whole world revolves around BM. She is blocked and still finds a way to stalk my FB I am under constant survallnce

marty15's picture

Submitted by marty15 on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 2:41pm

How can she find a way to stalk you on FB if you have her blocked? Just curious...

Rachel81's picture

Submitted by Rachel81 on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 2:27pm

Thanks for all the advice - you are all right. DH does stand up to her and fight for my side, which is great. BM is deleted and blocked from both mine and DH fb.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 2:28pm

The playing of the houses creates a huge problem. And if you are dealing with an Ex that plays into it things become ugly. My sk told bm that they hated coming to our house for extended periods of time. She told them how much she missed them, how lonely she was, etc. We fought for our visits both weekend and extended for 14 yrs. Now we don't care

We ignored the comments. The price we paid? Skids hate me, don't have anything to do with our family, unless we are having fun.
Who paid the price of the manipulation? My house. My family. My DH

Rachel81's picture

Submitted by Rachel81 on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 3:29pm

You are right! This is the second time this has happened to our family about the he said she said crap and I am done with it. My Husband is going to talk to his dtr tonight before I get off work and I think I am just going to stay out of it. It's between them. She can tell her mom what she wants, but the things that her mother does is a lot worse and I know I am the better parent, not that I want to be. I just have better parenting skills. I have just decided to distance myself for spending extra attention on her. I know alot of it comes from her mother. Her mother knew she is in the wrong with the comment on fb so she turned it on her daughter. I am definitely not playing house either. I am the one that is married she has been with 3 guys in total since I met her and she has another son with one of them. She has also brought all three of them to court at one point or another as well

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 3:54pm

If you have deleted her and blocked her she should not have access to your comments.
And kids work out how each parent works and how to get what they want. It is called a survival skill.

So ignore her snotty remarks or texts or emails unless they relate to the children. I only have my kids SM as a friend on FB because A) She lives on the other side of the world and I NEVER have to see her and Dirol my kids have all left home and don't live with her.

Rachel81's picture

Submitted by Rachel81 on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 5:08pm

You are lucky that she doesn't live close and you have full custody. That would be a dream come true, even though I would never wish that my SD not have her mom in her life, everyone needs their BM. I will stop doing nice things for them, I have pretty much stopped already. Mind you I thought that my SD and I are really close. She has always been open with me and we have always done alot of things together. Her mom never takes her anywhere that isn't for herself and they never spend time together like we do and I think she is jealous of that so she pulls my SD in the middle. I know there is nothing I can do about that expect continue to be the best mom I can be when she is in my home. I don't care so much what BM says about me and what goes on in my home because that is our own business, but it makes me worried that my SD isn't being totally honest with our relationship. I feel that in the future my sd will catch on to her drama and will end up living with us most of the time. She now spends thursday till sunday's with us most weeks and her mom has full custody, so that says something right there.