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resenting my step son

Rachael1's picture

Hey I just wondered if anyone could shed a bit of light on this for me I have been with my husband since I was 19 and I love my step son very much but recently I have become more and more mardy with him and I don't like the way im becoming with him my husband is noticing this and pointing it out to to me which is making it worse as I already know what I'm doing I just can't seem to stop myself....I don't have any of my own children and desperate to have my own but my husband hasn't wanted to rush into it which I have excepted but I keep having this urge to have my own children now and I'm well and truly ready the only thing is we will be migrating to austrailia in the next month so me having kids is being put off longer I also felt that spending a grand every 6 months on getting my step son over to oz was too much so this in turn ended up in a big argument but I was trying to work it out cost and length wise but at the end of the day my husband said it doesn't matter how much it costs or how often he wants his son in oz I should support him fully which I know is right but I couldn't help thinking and I think I said I wouldn't know because I don't have my own children which in turn I got told to think about it and what it would be like to only see your son or daughter every 6 months. I feel awful for having these thoughts and now my husband won't accept my apology....please tell me if I'm wrong in my feeling as I feel it's wrong that I feel this way but can't help it x

Comments

moeilijk's picture

I also agree that it isn't clear what the resentment it. I think it is quite normal if she doesn't want to spend her money to fly SS out every 6 months though.

moeilijk's picture

Rachael, just a note for the future, please post with punctuation as I was almost dizzy holding my breath waiting for a comma or a period!

Can you let us know how old you and your husband are now, and how old your SS is?

On the one hand, of course it makes sense that your husband wants to see his kid. On the other hand, he's chosen to emigrate to Australia, so I can see some hiccups with his plan.

From your post, it sounds like he wants you to financially contribute to his son's visits. Is that the case? That doesn't sound fair, since his son is not your son.

It also sounds like your husband is saying that he won't have a child with you because he feels you're not enough of a parent to his son. His argument isn't logical, because it's not logical to expect you to be a parent to a child to whom you have no legal nor biological ties. It's just not comparable.

I'm not sure what he wants you to apologize for. Can you explain more?

Good luck with all of this.