You are here

My ultimate fantsy...

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 11:27pm

I tend to daydream a lot and will make up some quite elaborate scenerios in my head that are often more entertaining than most T.V. shows...to me anyway Smile The good ones can be very relaxing... Before anyone freaks out on me THIS IS JUST A NICE LITTLE FANTASY, NOT SOMETHING I ACTUALLY PLAN TO DO

My favorite these days is where I buy one of those OTC DNA test kits, the kind where you mail it to a lab (not admissible in court due to improper channels but still accurate). H and I are newlyweds so it's not difficult to secretly get DNA from him without arousing (pun totally intended) suspicion. SD is a little trickier. I figure I could swab her cup or toothbrush maybe.

Anyway, since this is my fantasy, the test ALWAYS proves he's not really DS's father. }:) I live within a half hour drive of 2 other states so I mail copies anonymously to H AND BM (she lives in one of the states) from outside my state. Envelopes would be typed not printed of course...I watch CSI I know how it works.

BM is mortified because her dirty little secret is now out in the open and she has to go on the Maury show to find out who her baby daddy is. She has to go back several times because she has no idea who the kid's daddy really is.

H is shocked but says on some level he always knew it. He accepts it and is ok. No more ruined EOWEs.

___________________________________________________

Obviously, in real life, something like this would crush H and that is probably the only reason I wouldn't do it. Seriously though, SD looks nothing like H or BM and has some very distinct features that had to come from somewhere. Here's the scandalous part...although she doesn't look like H or BM, she DOES look like BM's kid (face) from her first marriage...hmmmmm

I should write soap operas Smile

Comments

alwaysme's picture

Submitted by alwaysme on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 12:33am

Oh that is so funny, i have dreamt of the exact same thing, I was going to do the toothbrush thing and DNA SS and DH and send an annon letter to BM as well, because i honestly dont think its his kid either.... there is no similarties between the kid and my husband at all... I so want to do that
The Kid is 12 now, she got pregnant on purpose when he was only 18 and too young and stupid to know better, the whole family knows she planned it, she told him she "couldnt get pregnant" I have found out through channels that she was sleeping with others and have looked at 1 of them and seen more in common between the other guy and the kid.....She has trapped him and put him through hell and a shit load of child support ever since..... I would love to see the look on her and the families faces

momoutofhermind2's picture

Submitted by momoutofhermind2 on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 8:24am

That is hilarious. I almost did it a couple years ago and I should've. I came an INCH away from taking the toothbrushes and sending them in. My SS10 doesn't look like my DH. I have looked 100x's and I don't see it. Then I thought maybe it's just me and I left it alone until I had 3 other people say the same thing. If it wasn't for the fact that secret DNA (toothbrush and other forms of things other than the swab) costs more and it would've crushed DH I would've done it already and still had my sanity Smile Those are the only two reasons I stopped myself. It would've been well worth the money though.

I think we all have that dream, but it also includes laughing in the BM's face and possibly a margarita in hand....hehehe.

not_snow_white's picture

Submitted by not_snow_white on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 7:32am

My fantasy: one day DH realizes and wakes up to the fact that his daughter hates him and he decides to stop catering to her and her mommy.We pack up and move to our fantasy land of retirement after signing over SD to her doting mommy. And DH realizes he is SO much happier without them using him as a paycheck and daddytaxi.

Selfish and immature,i know.but back off...i can dream can't i? lol Wink

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 8:03am

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that SS15 is not my DH's kid. All based on suspicion but here is the evidence:

1. DH found a calendar where BM had noted different initials on different days... sometimes more than one initial per day. And when confronted, she finally admitted she was keeping track of which guys she had sex with. :jawdrop: DH told me he had no clue why she would provide evidence like that of her infidelity. I said that she was trying to make sure to pin the child support on the right guy! Keep in mind, the BM was 16 (!) at the time!

2. SD looks EXACTLY like DH, SS looks nothing like either one.

3. BM and DH had been broken up for quite a while when she came crying to his door, big as a house, saying it was also his.

4. BM used to tell people that NEITHER kid was DH's and laugh about how stupid he is. This is what BM's mother told my MIL!

5. BM threw a huge fit when DH wanted DNA testing done until the poor idiot backed down.

I brought up getting the kids tested early in our marriage and it affected my husband so horribly that I have never brought it up again. Now, I am of the belief that it is better for all involved to let things be the way they are and let Karma take care of BM!

rinkrats5's picture

Submitted by rinkrats5 on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 9:37am

Mine is that BM and ExH spontaneously combust.

POOF.!

I'd watch the ashes blow away in the wind. No trace left of either one. Ahhhhh.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 9:47am

i'm quite certain, unfortunately that both skids are dhs... Sad

my fantasy is that bm meets somebody, dumb enough to think she's the shit, who happens to be visiting from out of town... it's love at first site, they marry and she packs up skids and moves to poland (or somewhere equally as far away and in a totally different time zone) with new love. in order to allow the move, she has to have co amended and in that amendment she forfeits cs and is responsible for all skids health care and living expenses and can NEVER EVER have cs reinstated or sue dh for any money ever again.

and after skid stress is gone. starfish gets pregnant and has a healthy baby starfish (or 2) and we all live happily ever after.

also, i lose all the baby weight in 2 weeks and win the lottery.

the end...

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 9:54am

ok, we can be neighbors in our new posh homes.... and have elegant outdoor swarays by the big ass pool with a waterfall... sporting our rock hard abs and sipping martinis.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 9:49am

i want to add bm's new h adopts the 2 little "cuties" and dh signs away all of his parental rights, too.... (just like crayon)

stepmasochist's picture

Submitted by stepmasochist on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 10:17am

I want DH or I to either a) win the lottery or b) get a kick ass job offer for tons of money that moves us to Hawaii or anywhere awesome on the water in the US or not as long as it takes us and the kids a minimum of 1,500 miles away from BM.

And then she still has to pay us CS which she's never, ever done.

Then add a paid for chauffer to haul the kids around, a lovable Anne Hathaway type next door to babysit anytime at a moments notice even for entire weekends and Starfish's posh house, pool and abs. And maybe turn DH into Johnny Depp.

Wink

antidrama's picture

Submitted by antidrama on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 12:09pm

Mine is that I get to rip into BM and tell her what I REALLY think of her. And maybe when I do this in my head I look a lot more like Angelina Jolie and have that KICKASS moment where I just go off and everybody claps and carries me out on their shoulders and get the key to the city for saying what everybody else was thinking. Then the troll would crawl back under her bridge and leave us alone...Too bad if I did that in real life it would just make everybody miserable.
Oh well, nice to know others have an active daydream/fantasy life like I do.

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 4:09pm

I have just added several new scenes to my fantasy thanks to all of you Smile Definately the lotto and rock abs...I'm going to keep H as is though because he's super sexy and has the nicest little tush I've ever seen Wink

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 4:17pm

I would love to win the lottery and then talk DH into quickly divorcing so BM wouldn't get her hands on any of it once she got wind.

Then we could get remarried in a few years after both kids are 18 and out of their BM's house!! Or not... }:)