I just don't want her here
By the end of SD5's week long visit I had made great progress and developed several tools for tolerating her (baking, mp3 player, choking a pillow, etc...). H is on his way to pick her up for the weekend and despite my progress I still just don't want her here. It's not as bad as it has been but like many of us, life would be so much better if these skids would just go the f*** away. A girl can dream.
My bios are back from visiting their dad for the summer so that's the main 'new' dynamic I'm stressing over. Particularly the part where SD likes to hit and kick BD4 if she doesn't get her way, while H makes exscuses for her...like, "oh I'm sure it was an accident, say you're sorry SD". Or the way she complains about BD when she does the same kind of stuff...like singing quietly to herself. And, the creepy little crush SD has on BS9.
AND, not to mention, the fact that there is no such thing as a sex life with H when the Princess is here. God forbid he takes a half hour out of his day to plunder me when he could spend that time catering to SD. I've stopped trying to have our normal daily 'encounters' when she's here. The few times we attempted in the beginning she would be constantly knocking on the door, trying to talk to H through the door, or sitting outside the door waiting...even when H tells her not to. My kids can handle it when we take a little time for ourselves during the day, but not Princess. Call me selfish if you want but I have a very high drive as does H and we have no problem making the time when his kid isn't here and my kids are...just one more reason to resent the little turd.
To make matters worse, when H picked her up for that weeklong visit he crashed his car. Everyone was ok thankfully but now we are down to one vehicle so I can't even "run to the store" to get away for a few. I'd already be drunk if I didn't have to work tonight. Thank God I have to work though. Work all night + sleep all day = very little time around SD. I will be taking BD with me though, I'm not leaving her here to be bullied without anyone to stick up for her.
Do teen skids visit less? Or do they just move in? If she ever moves in I'm moving out.
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my teen skids seem to be
my teen skids seem to be there all the fucking time in the summer because their stepdad (doesn't work during summer) doesn't let them sleep all day and requires them to do things at bm's house so guess who gets them - disney land dad who doesn't make them do a damn thing
i drink A LOT during the summer.
they're so far not around much during school year because they have activities but we'll see if it calms down once the snow flies....ugh :sick:
OMG, if she were here all
OMG, if she were here all summer...no, I'm not even going to entertain that thought, my mind can't handle it... :sick:
Familiar with the term "dividing by zero"? That's what my brain would do.
My DH has a medical condition
My DH has a medical condition where he can't drink or he gets headaches so I basically do not drink at all except for the 4 weeks that we have SS a year. I drink every night - I am sure he thinks I have a problem but hardly ever touch it when he is not around - I just need to with him or I would be in jail - I also have an ativan prescription for when he is here - I also heard him say once that his mom likes to drink to - lol
They move in-Oh God how I
They move in-Oh God how I wish I could move out!!
LOL you have online poker...I
LOL you have online poker...I come here and bitch
None of it could replace good sex though. Poor H gets mauled on the Thursdays before her visits...I feel like a camel trying to store water for the dry spell
I am so sorry for you, that
I am so sorry for you, that is my worst fear. It has replaced dying. Yes, that's right, for me, death is a better option than living with skid.
I would go straight to the
I would go straight to the pychiactric ward and check in if we were down to one car and I could not escape whenever I wanted to!!!! I totally feel for you!!!
I am praying that as the Skids get older (they are tweens now) that they won't want to come over anymore and BM won't need to use hubby as her free babysitter since they (should be) old enough to stay at home by themselves for a few hours... I can only hope, pray, cross my fingers, legs arms and whatever else I can find!!!
I will cross everything I
I will cross everything I have for you too...normally I'd say everything but my legs but no need to keep them open until SD leaves so you get that too
I can't wait for the day when
I can't wait for the day when the skids turn 18 so BM can't have any hold over our lives again...no reason to contact us ever again!! Whew who!! It's four years off, but can't come soon enough.
Until then, I just try to stay out of her way as much as possible and try to keep the oldest SC out of my house!
Fortunately teens start
Fortunately teens start wanting to spend more time with their friends so this may be your out. Hang in there.
SD is socially...well, for
SD is socially...well, for lack of a better term...retarded. Unless this changes I'm sure it will be the same with her as your SD. She's very wierd and I really can't imagine wanting to play with a kid like her when I was a kid. This makes the idea of her ever moving in that much more horrifying (sp?).
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I wish you
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I wish you could post it, that pic would make my day
i totally get how you
i totally get how you feel...when SD used to stay with me and DH every other weekend, we would, like clockwork start fighting the day before. I would get into such a rotten mood and be very resentful towards him for ruining not only our weekend together, which is when we actually get to spend time together and do things, but my time to relax after the work week. Like you, I got really frustrated with the fact that we could not manage to be intimate when princess SD was there...she would sit outside the door and cry and kick and scream. lovely...She was just awful to have over, and I like you had to find a way to get away. I would waste gas and money to try to find something to do, while i could have been relaxing in my home if it werent for SD. so, while i was away from her, i was still angry at the fact that i fealt the need to leave for my sanity beause of her. After playing that game for too long, i finally told DH that she was no longer welcome to stay over, if he wanted to see her he needed to do it at his mother's or i was moving out. Well, now he sees her at his mother's, but i just wish the situation would go away all together.
Maybe you could have a friend come pick you up and get you out of the house for a while? I myself don't know how you could handle not being there without a vehicle. got some cab $$$?
3 girls mom - i appreciate
3 girls mom - i appreciate the reply on my post, that's what i really like about this site - everyone is willing to give feedback - mostly encouraging, but if not feedback notheless.
I'm sorry my post seemed to offend you so badly, but I have good reason for doing things the way i did. far too much to list in a post that will be tolerable of reading in a timely manner
See, when I first got together with my DH, he saw his kid, about once a month and it was at BM's. Further along in our relationship, he decides without even telling me until the day it happens, while i'm living here with him, that he is going to take her overnight every other weekend. I feel that with him asking me to move in with him, maybe i should have gotten a little heads up?
Maybe that's just me.....
The BM did nothing but make our lives a living h#ll once she found out we were together, constantly causing problems and doing everything she could to put a wrench in our relationship, especially once we got engaged. She would tell SD terrible things about me, then send her here to try to manipulate DH.
She needed someone glued to her side at all times...would throw a tantrum, scream, cry, KICK , punch, etc if she didn't get her way, right away. And when i say scream i mean this kid would scream bloody murder. We manage an apartment complex, we live on the bottom floor in the middle of the building. The constant tantrums were irritating the other tenants, making complaints which could of cost of the roof over our heads.
The BM was constantly texting during these visits. She is a terrible mother who doesn't give a sh*t any other time, just conveniently when she wants attention from DH.
There were several occasions where I got kicked and hit with things she threw during her fits.
After a long work week where I was working 12 hour days until 11 at night, I could get no sleep with SD waking up for NO REASON several times a night screaching at the top of her lungs and constantly running into our bed after DH calmed her down, kicking me the whole time she was there.
We have two animals, that because of her lack of dicipline and manors, she had no respect for that she kept on tugging on them and hitting them. This was NOT okay with me.
DH's job at the time was an "on call" job. A lot of time he would have to run off for hours at a time to go work on something, while i was stuck at home with a child that i did not care to spend time with who did not respect anything that i said. Needless to say, the situation did not work. So yes, I did tell my grown man of a husband that it wasn't working and something needed to change. Even he was ready to pull out his hair after the first few hours of the visit and he is more than fine with the way we do things now.
So that is just a taste of what she was like when she was here. With DH, our marriage comes first, so while he still sees his kid, we have come to a compromise that is better than she situation prior.
Wow, your SD sounds worse
Wow, your SD sounds worse than mine. No screaming, crying, or kicking the door. I'm sure H and I would have both lost our shit on her for that. Still, having them outside the door period is a major mood killer. Ewwww...
Waiting on the insurance check to get a new car and that will hopefully be all straightened out before her next visit. If it wasn't for 3rd shift work/day sleep...I'd probably rent a car.
H used to visit with SD at a friend's house who was a mutalo friend of H and BM. This was back when she would not allow the kid to come to my house. I really miss those days
OMG Maux - I would kill
OMG Maux - I would kill myself if SS wanted to move back - luckily BM lets him do whatever he wants so he stays 700 miles away. Last time he came to visit he mentioned how it was nice to have a mom and dad around and I told him that he made the decision to leave and there was no coming back. Also DH's 90 year old Foster Father moved in with us last September (WHOLE OTHER STORY WISH I COULD FIND A FORUM FOR ELDERLY PEOPLE DRIVING YOU CRAZY!!!!) and SS is not very found of "Grandpa - is hard of hearing, has trouble speaking due to birth defect and makes noise all day long with his walker so thankfully he is not eager to ever come back - THANK GOD!!!!
When your plan is fully
When your plan is fully developed please share it with me so I can get started early...maybe discourage the whole "I wanna live with disney dad" scenerio as early as possible.
My Skid is always here except
My Skid is always here except when he is visiting BioDad. I am the Custodial StepDad so this is my Skids home as much as it is mine or his mom's. My wife and I manage to maintain our intimate lives together whether he is here of not. Of course when he is on visitation to SpermLand we have a lot more square footage to get busy with.
I am not discounting your frustration. I too have wanted to do my SKid in upon occasion. What parent does not want to take their kid out of this world every once in a while. I know my parents entertained the idea fairly frequently with my younger bro and I.
We tend to deal with this things with a sense of humor. My parents set this example. I walked in on my parents more times that I can remember while growing up. The last time I was ~19. We were on a family vacation and I went barging in the hotel room. My dad is CHEAP! He would get a single room with two beds when were were traveling. My brother and I shared one and he and mom shared one. So during the final interrupting mom and dad incident I was 19 my brother was 13.
My brother and I had been at the pool when I went back to the room for my wallet so I could get some money for bro and I to get some dinner.
I barged in the room and mom and dad were getting busy. We all just froze. After a few moments I walked to the foot of their bed, sat down and asked "so guys, how is your afternoon going?" we all busted out laughing and laughed so hard were were in tears,
After a couple of minutes I told them next time put a hanger on the door knob. "That is what my college room mates and I do." Took my wallet and took my brother out for food.
Our son (my SS) caught his mom and I in an embarrassing moment not long ago. He just shook his head, covered his eyes and said "Oh my god! I am going to go dig my eyes out with a spoon!" we all laughed.
Shit happens. Have fun with it.
Life is too short to let your irritation with a kid cause you so much drama that it severely impacts your state of bliss. Your home is the SKids home when the Skid is there. We all have to figure out how to make the home a desirable place for everyone. Of course it can't always be nirvana for everyone but I think that most of the time is possible in most cases.
IMHO or course.
Hang in there.
Best regards,
Rags, I always enjoy your
Rags, I always enjoy your sensible advice and reasoned perspective on things...even when I can't join the bandwagon.
"We all have to figure out how to make the home a desirable place for everyone."
Seems to me, if it was less desirable to SD...well, I think you know where I'm going with this. }:)
Thank you for your "mom and dad in uncomfortable circumstances" stories. Unfortunatly it made me remember the times I caught my own parents :sick: ...many hours of therapy to forget...thanks again Rags LOL
Funny thing. I do not drink
I do not drink as much now the SD15 is living at her mom's.
Wonder why?