a possible soulution or more damaging?
well i have been talking to as many people as i can in regards to the issues with my step daughter and heard some great ideas.
so i finally had a catch up with my own mother and sister in law and asked what they thought of the sd and what i should do and turns out my family don't really like the sd and only tolerate her as she is my hubbies daughter and they respect him. my sister in law openly stated that she doesn't have a clue what im going through but would like to help in anyway possible, she knows what i have done for the sd and the crap we have indured because of her and her bm.
my sister in law suggested that we maybe drop our time with the sd to one weekend a month for a while like to the end of the year and see if her attitude and behaviours ajust. i thought this a really good idea as it will give us some much needed distance and will give us a chance to miss her and want her back, hoping it will work on her end to that she'll relise what life is without our presence and hopefully may even miss us a little ( heres to hoping).
my only concern is how to go about doing it and is it okay to suggest this sort of thing to my partner?
i'm a bit unsure of asking my hubby to cut back on his time with his daughter due to the issues it causes in our home. :?
has anyone else felt the need to ditance themselves from their step children in order to focus on their own children and life.
i feel horrible for wanting to walk away and leave it to my hubby but i've had enough. i've invested so much time and effort and resources into this child always thinking it was the right thing to do but now feel that its been wasted and i could have turned that energy into something for my self or my children.
when i first got with my now hubby he said to me if you take me you take c as well and i thought okay and agreed but how do i now keep the hubby whom i adore but get rid of the child i cannot invest in any longer...is it okay to feel and think this as i feel like crap 
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"when i first got with my
"when i first got with my now hubby he said to me if you take me you take c as well and i thought okay and agreed but how do i now keep the hubby whom i adore but get rid of the child i cannot invest in any longer...is it okay to feel and think this as i feel like crap."
I FEEL YOU! I am at the same point you are, hon. It's hard, tough, terrible. I especially understand you when you wrote about the investment. Wow...I wish I could help.
I believe everyone feels
I believe everyone feels this way at some point. When I got into this I was 18, had energy and patience but that didn't last long... I had no real idea of what the next ten years would be like and looking back I have no idea how we've made it work. Now I can honestly say that we are closer than ever and even though I had too many moments when I was really ready to walk away for my own sanity I am so happy with most parts of our lives.
I know most of our friends think I am nuts for sticking through it though and that could be a possibility by now...
There is a way to be in the child's life ,
Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.
And yet distance yourself as well. I am doing this right now. I have care of ss during the day while dh is at work(ss here for 2 week witch hunt...must see my earlier posts for more on that subject), however, I treat him life any other persons child I would be babysitting and as awful as it sounds, the minute dh walks in door, ss is totally his responsibility. I also posted earlier that though I love my dh so very much and am happy for him that he is able to see his son agian, I have NO desire to try and reconnect with ss and honestly I just wish ss and bm would just disappear...sometimes all the damn drama that comes with these two people is entirely to much!!!