well hubby and i have decided that we are going to request more time with sd as this is what she has been wanting not much more time just a few extra days a fortnight so instead of 2 nights we want 4 plus half of all school holidays as apposed to 1 week only. i'm a bit conflicted as i feel i may have pressured hubby into this and it's not something he truely wants but sd has been raising her desire for spending more time with us for a very long time now and hubby just refuses to listen so hasn't picked up on her wants yet my bkids have expressed a want for more time with sd as well so as we are off to court now anyway due to bm's breach i thought we should just file new papers outling the things we want as the old orders don't cover the new issues raised as they were finalised over 2 years ago and our legal rep stated that orders get updated all the time due to family changes and needs so i thought why not as the family all seem to agree except hubby however i see sd as wanting to be with us more and more and i feel if we say no she will resent that and it will affect our relationships.

we have had some major drama with sd in recent times but from what i've seen and some close family and friends have as well is sd is genuinly coming around and wanting to be a bigger part in our family she is helping out more making effort to follow our rules and is not getting involved with the issues her bm starts.

i think if there was anytime to help sd be a better person and to help her get to know our family more now is the time as she is expressing a want for it and she is only 6 so it would be better to side with her now rather then push her away til she is older as there might never be another chance but hubby doen't see it and i'm worried he feels his relationship with his little girl is lost where i want to work on rebuilding it which is the why for more time.

just feeling conflicted that i want to take on board my bkids wants plus sd wants but at the same time want to respect hubby's point of view, i would also like to acknowledge that i would like to build on my relationship with sd and bkids alike.

has this happened to others if so how did you find a nice compromise?