queenofthedamned's Blog
pour me a drink, stat!
The skids are here. Man, the fact that I love FDH so frakking much is THE ONLY reason I put up with this shit.
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money makes the world go round.
There’s a reason I control the purse strings in our house, and that reason is that FDH has the financial sense of a 12 year old.
It was a skid weekend. Just having them for a rainy holiday weekend meant that we spent:
$75 on gas to cart them all over town “having fun”
$50 to go to the movies
$40 on a new phone case for skid1
$100+ on extra groceries and snacks.
$50 to renew the xBox live membership to keep them occupied
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He's on the rag
I think FDH has his heriod right now. He's a bitch on wheels at the moment.
Or maybe it just has to do with skid1 being here this weekend.
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well that was nice. weird and unexpected, but nice.
I've been having a rough week. My summer class - three nights a week on top of a full time job - started on Tuesday. Lots of studying ahead this semester.
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word vomit
I've noticed a curious thing about myself since my divorce from my exH a few years ago. I seem to have contracted a case of word vomit.
During my marriage, I was silent about the real issues we had. Our marriage counselor advised me repeatedly to find my voice, and when I finally did it said "I don't want to be married to this man any longer." It hasn't shut up since.
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I had a dream......
.... about BM, the skids, and fucking work.
I mean, really? I LIVE this shit on a daily basis. I want to dream about flying, swimming at the beach, cabana boys, lottery winnings. Or sweet, sweet, nothing at all.
At least it's Friday.
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satisfied
I have really been struggling lately. Skid1 is tough to deal with, and knowing that I'll never be a mom has been tough to deal with. I was sooo dreading this skid weekend and mother's day.
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I almost said TGIF this morning....
... and then I remembered that it's a skid weekend, and we'll have skid1, who will be sure to drain every ounce of patience FDH and I have.
I also remembered that it's Mother's Day weekend - aka Day of Torture for the barren.
Now it's more like OMFGIF.
Wine please.
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He's a keeper
FDH is the man. If he didn’t look out for me like he does, this relationship would be toast. Burnt nasty smelly inedible toast.
He and BM have been trying to figure out what they’re going to do for child care this summer (they alternate weeks in the summer). Last summer both skids went to a day camp and it worked out perfectly because they have drop off sites close to both our home and BM’s, so I could drop them before work on FDH’s weeks without too much trouble.
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The PMS monster strikes again
Why do I become a completely different person at the hands of hormones? God, when I am PMSing it's like a black cloud descends over my life and sucks the joy out of everything. I become completely miserable and cannot see any good in anything.
Then magically I'm fine, and it feels so unbelievable to be back to my own easygoing self. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I don't want to stab every person I see in the eye with a fork. WINNING! I really feel bad for FDH though - he definitely get the brunt of it, poor guy.
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