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Communication with BM

proud mom's picture

Submitted by proud mom on Tue, 05/01/2007 - 4:07pm

Ok here is the deal H2B is out of town for work won't be back until maybe Thursday. We had SD for the weekend and an extra day so I took her to school on Monday (H2B left at 4am) so anyway SD is 6 in Kindergarten so i did not feel it was right to try and send her suitcase to school with her along with her back pack so I called H2b and he agreed it was to much for her to carry and the he would contact BM and make arrangement to get the suit case to her when he returned home. Well BM text messaged H2B today wanting the suitecase tommorow (not sure why there really isn't anything important in it) So here is my question should I text her and let her know that I have it and she can pick it up from me at work tomorrow or should I just leave it be and let him deal with her when he gets home?? BM and I have never spoken to one another. This is the first time I have ever taken sd to school and BM has informed H2B in the past that I am never aloud to pick sd up. Any suggestions????

Comments

goingcrazy's picture

Submitted by goingcrazy on Tue, 05/01/2007 - 5:36pm

Since you are going to be in the picture permanently, you might want to consider trying to open the lines of communication with BM. Maybe if she sees that you are not a bad person, she will feel a little better. Unfortunately the Biological parents alwayscaring the ill feelings and pass them off to the new step parent. If you can manage to have a good relationship with BM early in, it will save you ALOT of headaches and heartaches in the future.

Anonymous's picture

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 05/01/2007 - 5:37pm

I think you should let your husband deal wih it. I have been with my husband for 9 years and I regret ever getting involved with there issues with the SKS. I know eventually you will have to deal with her but it is best if you keep you distance when it comes to BM.

Hanny's picture

Submitted by Hanny on Tue, 05/01/2007 - 6:26pm

either call or e-mail BM and tell her you have it, and if she needs it before BF gets back in town, you would be happy to make arrangements with her. That way it can be her choice, get it now from you or wait for BF to get back in town. Nothing wrong with that.

V

STACYT37's picture

Submitted by STACYT37 on Wed, 05/02/2007 - 7:57am

I have been in this spot; and from my experience it was the worst thing I had ever tried to do to help someone. And here I was thinking I was being helpful. For now, it may be best to let the Dad be to handler of things until you are married.

didddos's picture

Submitted by didddos on Wed, 05/02/2007 - 8:16am

Leave it by the door of your house and have H2B leave her a message on where she can pick it up.

proud mom's picture

Submitted by proud mom on Wed, 05/02/2007 - 2:52pm

I talked to H2B and he said not to worry about it there was nothing important in the bag. I kinda felt bad but he was like it is no big deal. So I did nothing didn't call or text her I went on with my day like I didn't know anything about it. Like he said if it was that important and she needed it that bad she new he was out of town why didn't she call the house and see if I could meet her or something. So he can deal with it when he gets home.