Ex called

I didn't answer. It was FSD12 (former step daughter)'s number, but I'm already aware she doens't have her phone currently. So why answer when I know it's my ex?

HOWEVER, he DID leave a message. And what was it????

EX: "How did you manage to be the actual parent for so long? It's so hard. I went through FSD12's phone and other items after confiscating it all, and she's been talking to a guy she met onine at her mom's house on the xbox, gave him her number and everything. She's never seen him, but they were tlaking very sexually and I'm terrified it was a child predator, she had him on snapchat too, but says he never showed himself. So now I'm having to be the strict parent who's taking things away from her, all while the ex is trying to let her continue to do what she wants becuase she "wants to be her friend." It's so hard working against the other parents. Which is what you did the entire time with the girls to give them actual structure. I need advice. I don't know how to do this."

^transcribed from message.

I won't be calling him back. I'm sad that he let her get so far unsupervised, it's heartbreaking to know that the super sweet girl I knew has been up to a lot of things and that her mom doesn't seem to give a damn even now that dad is taking it seriously. However, not my circus and I can't solve the issue he's having with Psycho. I do wish them the best though. She's a sweet kid that's been dragged through a lot.

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Wow now he has to be a parent

Wow now he has to be a parent...I'm sure the feeling will pass in a few days or hours, when his picker gets excited by another woman...what an absolute waste of space. So glad you saw the light and got out of there.

Oh I'm sure it will be. I'm

Oh I'm sure it will be. I'm sure he's only even doing something now because the school is involved. If it was his choice, based on his history, he'd likely just brush it off.

I am too :) I even have a date this Sunday at a nearby amusement park.

If you ever feel like you're

If you ever feel like you're wavering on helping, remember that you have no proof that he actually is doing something to be a good parent. You're probably right about him only engaging because the school is involved, and I'd bet he's doing anything he can to pawn that responsibility off onto someone else.

I think he only does what he

I think he only does what he has to for the public eye. As long as he has someone to clean up his messes he's a lazy PoS. There won't be any wavering. I HOPE he actually steops it up for her. But my hopes are low, and it's not my job to overcompensate for his dumba$$ery anymore.

GOOD for YOU

For not letting yourself get involved with all that. I am currently practicing that with the whole school thing.

You got it clove! my

You got it clove! my therapist has done a lot for me in those regards

He's dangling bait on a line,

He's dangling bait on a line, hoping your feelings about the girls will make you bite.

If he really wanted parenting help, he could find it elsewhere.

Possibly.

Also. LMAO. idk where. He sucks, his mom sucks, Psycho sucks, Psycho's mom sucks. There are ZERo good parent sover there. Which is why I have to just resign myself and hope the girls have at least a little common sense to go against the grain of that shit show one day.

as the grandmother of a newly

as the grandmother of a newly turned 13 yr old, I'm appreciating her Mom so much right now.

Props to you for keeping your distance!!

Thank you! Also teenagers

Thank you! Also teenagers are sheer chaos. lmao. I remember being a teen. I was a mess.

He's "hoovering back", like

He's "hoovering back", like the messy, crappy boundary-having, drama king that he is. Using FSD as bait to keep you on the string, keeping you on the back burner as likely one of several orbiters/sources of narcissistic supply that he has. I'm no fan of pop paychology, but what you describe is pretty classic. Good on you for not answering. He had his chance. Well, too many chances really, and he blew it.

Exactly what I was thinking!

Totally possible. Thank

Totally possible. Thank goodness my therapist has gotten me through the complex of wanting to save the girls. I'll always love them. But I have accepted that love doesn't solve everything. And I can't be there for them due to their father's actions. no longer my circus.

Call the waaaaaahm-bulance.

$5 says he's single and looking for a way to suck you back in. DON'T DO IT!!!

PA, you're a kind, generous, loving woman. It's time to cut the rope and save yourself. I'm sorry those girls have crap parents, but you cannot sacrifice yourself at the ex's altar to save them. I'm sorry, hon. Cut the tie. <3

Nope on that! Hence why his

Nope on that! Hence why his number is completely blocked. SD12's wasn't. BUT if he tries to contact me again, I'll VERy likely consider blocking it too. I don't need that in my life. Period.

No you do not! <3

I need advice. I don't know

I need advice. I don't know how to do this.

No, he doesn't know how to do this, considering he's never done it. However, the advice train has left the station and will not be making a return trip.

Nope! I'll be enjoying my

Nope! I'll be enjoying my single life and my date this weekend instead

Your ex isn't serious about

Ok now "BM is a bad parent but he is taking it seriously and is involved parent" just isn't the case. Your ex isn't serious about it at all. If he was, he'd be seeking help through appropriate channels. He'd not be contacting his ex about it. He is playing a game.

Honeslty. They both always

Honeslty. They both always sucked a$$ at parrenting. Too busy being hoes to think about to kids. And I doubt it changed. And while I do love the girls. nothing I can do about it. Not something I can solve. So i won't even be trying.

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