Unilateral Decision Making or The Great Bunk Bed debate 2.0
Months ago I blogged about this topic. This issue has raged on and due to both my frustration and h's lack of action, I have decided to act unilaterally. So as a quick background here is the situation: We have a three bedroom house, my two bios live here full time, ss is here eow and one overnight during the week.
SS7 currently bunks with my oldest bio stb10. Biostb10 is on the top bunk and is getting too big for it. By this I mean his head is almost grazing the ceiling. In addition, there is no walk in closet in this room. I have asked h repeatedly to assist me in moving the bunk beds from biostb10's room into bio6 room. Bio6 has a larger room and an abundant walk-in closet.
I feel 10 years old is a right of passage and the issue of privacy is becoming more apparent. Also the room is cramped. Bio6 and ss7 are two peas in a pod. They play well together and genuinely enjoy each others company. They like the same things. H's has resisted this change at all costs. Claiming they will 'fight' if they are together. (this has never happened, the kids mesh well)
The truth is, from H's own mouth, is that he does not want to put his precious little lord ss7 on the top bunk. He may fall out. It has rails for God's sake!! :jawdrop: Right, but it was good enough for my oldest bio when he was 7 and we got married?! I call bullshit on this.
So I have decided, with my sister's help, to act unilaterally in this decision. I told H the change is coming. He lost his shit with me. Saying he has no rights in his own home. I politely reminded him that this is MY home, as per the deed and if he didn't like the arrangement he could seek a residence somewhere else. Honestly, how the frig does it get to this? I have tried to spin this everyway in order to get H to see my side and acknowledge his own irrational fears, to no end. I give up.
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Comments
If I had a 7 & 6 year old
If I had a 7 & 6 year old they would share, & the oldest would have his own room. just seems to make sense. Oldest and all.
Not sure if this was brought
Not sure if this was brought up in your previous blog on the topic, but if the issue really is with SS falling off, can you just take apart the beds and have two twin size? I know it takes up a lot of room, but maybe that would be a good compromise and your DH would get annoyed at them not having enough room to play that he would decide to put it back to being a bunk bed.
I suggested purchasing a nice
I suggested purchasing a nice trundle/day bed but that has been rebuffed also. So I'm thinking there is more to his resistance. It's just a power struggle at this point. But another 1/2 an inch and my stb10 bio will give himself a concussion if he sits up.
It's control, he isn't
It's control, he isn't willing to compromise then eff off. Your oldest should have his own room and the two closer in age share, especially since they get along. Make it happen, buy the boys each something cool for their "new room" so that they are excited and your DH ends up just looking like a jackass.
This is exactly what my
This is exactly what my sister had planned to do. Everyone would get new bedding and pick out their own wall art, posters, etc. I just find it ridiculous that he will not compromise to the point I have to take matters into my own hands! What kind of MAN does that to his wife?
I love you MoFo...that is
I love you MoFo...that is all.....
You make total sense…and your
You make total sense…and your 10 year old deserves his privacy. Poor wittle DH got his wittle feelings hurt. pfffffftttttt. You and your girlfriend go to it! Love gals who can use tools. Next time: no heads up. Just let him come home to see the feat you accomplished. Put up a bed rail on the top bunk. I assume skid has no disability? Also, skid shares with who at his house? Your kiddos share and you are being more than generous.