So who else is tired of always being the "bigger person"? Show of hands. . .
A few days ago my DH asked me to buy my SS's Christmas gift for his teacher. I said, "No. That's his mother's responsibility. Not mine." Which to me seemed perfectly logical and plainly obvious. His snarky reply, "Well I just thought you might want to be the bigger person." Really? That's what you thought? Well sir, you clearly are a moron. I'm tired of being the "bigger person". I have bought the gift in the past. My efforts have never been recognized so I am retiring. I would now like to enter into a stage in my life where I deliberately go out of my way to inconvenience YOUR EX WIFE and YOU. I never ask you to do things like that for MY children. Seeing as you would only make excuses anyway.
I'm entering some uncharted waters here and quite frankly I am excited about this. I am going to continue to push the envelope of detachment. I will disengage. It's not MY job to be the bigger person.
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Mmmm, I would have had to
Mmmm, I would have had to reply to that one for certain with something like, Bigger person? Whats stopping YOU from getting the gift? Aren't you the parent?
^^^EXACTLY^^^ How about YOU
^^^EXACTLY^^^
How about YOU be the "BIGGER PERSON" and take care of YOUR DAMN KID'S AND ALL THAT COMES ALONG WITH THEM...PERIOD!!!
DIPSHIT!!!
ME! I have constantly been
ME! I have constantly been made to be the bigger person or take the high road for 7 misery filled years while BM gets off the hook for EVERYTHING and lays on her ass.
That all ended at the end of August, 2012. Unless my H wants to be divorced again. I disengaged. I refuse to do NOT EVEN ONE MORE thing for BM. I've also disengaged from my disgusting teenaged stepshits.
Your anger and resentment will go down when you start refusing to be used all the time.
Good for you! I'd have done
Good for you! I'd have done the same thing. There's NO effort I'm putting in when it comes to SD14 anymore. She and BM have shit on me enough and I'm not laying down and taking it anymore. They can both go to Hell for all I care.
You can say that again!
You can say that again!
Lol, if my DH said, "We'll, I
Lol, if my DH said, "We'll, I just thought you'd like to be the bigger person!"
I'd say, "Well, you thought wrong!" And go about my business.
Lol, if my DH said, "We'll, I
Lol, if my DH said, "We'll, I just thought you'd like to be the bigger person!"
I'd say, "Well, you thought wrong!" And go about my business.
it's a guilt trip attempt. if
it's a guilt trip attempt. if you don't do it, he wants you to think you're being lowly. what a dumb ass. fdh told me years ago that he thought i should "try harder" with sd because i'm "the adult". she was a teenager, not a little girl. by try harder, i guess he meant overlook the disrespect and nasty attitude and be wonderful to her anyway. sorry, mrfr. the real world doesn't work that way and neither do i. she treats me like shit, she gets NOTHING from me. she ought to just be happy (as should he and anyone in his family who takes issue with that) that i don't give what i get!
Your DH can be the bigger
Your DH can be the bigger person by not trying to guilt you into doing a task you've already declined. That whole "bigger person" schlock works both ways.
I am standing on my chair at
I am standing on my chair at work, with both hands raised.
I disengaged after the s**s-storm I endured during the first three years of marriage. I nearly left DH because of the trauma and drama.
Once I disengaged, I adopted an indifferent air when I was around DH's kid, I was polite but aloof. Like a cat. For some odd reason DH thought this meant I was okay with everything. U
We were planning my birthday dinner and it happened to be in a skid weekend. I pointed out we should do it the weekend before or the weekend after. DH asked why? I said because it's my birthday dinner and it should be a pleasurable evening for me. I refuse to spend my birthday dinner in a nice restaurant watching your kid pick apart a $20 meal and use her sleeve to wipe her mouth. He got angry at me and said "I thought you were okay with her now and wanted her to be a part of your life!!!"
I looked at him like he had grown three extra heads. I asked him why on earth did he assume that? His response "Because I HAVE!"
We ended up not going out for my birthday because he couldn't get past the fact I didn't want her around to celebrate with us.
please tell me you went out
please tell me you went out with friends, than. i really hope you didn't let his asinine thinking ruin your bday!
Being a bigger person does
Being a bigger person does not mean taking over some one else's responsiblites. MORON!
some people are amazing at
some people are amazing at convincing themselves that someone is always wrong for not doing what they want them to do. sd20 most recent ridiculous comment is that if i'm not there for her during her pregnancy, i'm hurting her dad, and it's not healthy for her OR her dad for me to 'shut her out'. so you see, even though she was beyond livid when i was pregnant and beyond thrilled when i lost my baby, i have to be there for her or else i'm damaging her and fdh's health. :? she actually thinks that shit is logical. and that's far from the only time she's spewed forth some ridiculous bullshit to accuse me of because i don't obey her demands on me. she will always ALWAYS find a way to make herself believe i am wrong, no matter what she has done to me. notice how she was all concerned about HER and fdh's health? neverfuckingmind what it would do to me to be around her pregnant ass all the time when she is the person who was so damn happy that my baby died. yeah. i don't even count as a person to her. i'm just a servant.
Well I just thought you might
Well I just thought you might want to be the bigger person.
One of the most manipulative lines out there.
YES YES YESSSS give me a hell
YES YES YESSSS give me a hell f@&king yes!!!!!!
My dh has been promoting the "high road" and being the "bigger person" for 7 gd years I am sick sick sick of it!!!
The high road has done nothing for us except drive wedges in our marriage and it has really taken its toll I have completely lost all respect for my dh and really at this point only stay for our two children
For years when the school
For years when the school would call because one of the boys were faking sick, Horseface BM would ignore the calls to her cell or her house (she doesn't work.)
So, of course the school would call my H who, in turn would call me and demand/insist I go get them. At the time I was extremely ill and fighting for my life. But, yet, I had to go pick up the kids. It was never our days to have them either when they pulled this shit. When I would protest to my H that I was too sick to get them he would YELL at me that is was easiest thing to do. This must have happened 20 times, the kids fake sick A LOT!
I have always resented this. I bring it up to the counselor because I actually feel RAGE over being so very, very ill and STILL BEING USED by DH and BM. Do you know she never once told me thank you.
I wish I knew then what I knew now. It would have saved me years of resentment and despair.
Things have changed a lot though since my great blow-up in August. I told him to NEVER, EVER call me to pick them up from school when they are faking sick. DH or BM can pick them up.
I aslo will not let them leave them with me when they are sick, or faking sick when it's not our day. About a month ago Stepshit(15) was faking sick because he was up all night playing computer games. He said he was sick, it wasn't supposed to be our day, so I made DH drop him off at his Mom's on his way to work. This has never happened before. Usually DH would leave them here and wait for BM to come get them, which was always around 7:00 at night - when it's HER DAY! It enrages me just to think about it.
I will never be used again. EVER.