I saw princess for the first time in eleven months. The sighting occured Christmas Day. I always have to sort out and work it through in my mind, what exaxctly it is that I react so strongly and negatively to. c

Seeing her xmas day, she has truly become a beautiful woman. Her outward appearance is flawless. There is a ipart of me that envies her youth and beauty. I don't weigh anynmore than she does, and I still have men saying they like my appearance. But you see, she is a physical beauty. She has the female version of my husband's face. I think what I react to is my sense she is not genuine. The lies have always dripped from her tounge and eyes, and I wish she did not live that way. She does, though. We gave one another hugs at the neutral location of my celebrated pediatrician brother in law's home . (who reviewed my neice's case, she has leukemia).

I adore my husband's family. I adore him. It was always uncomfortable spending time with my ex husband's family. My ehidesband is a dick. The latest thing he's doing to my two sons is, being the big couragous man he is, implenting a "chit mark" system. This system holds purvey over all of their time with their father. To the extent my ten year old was crumpled on the floor in dread of having to spend time with his father. My ten year old has bowel issues that date to his in utero time. They called it echogenic bowel. His father shames him, punishes him for his physical issues. He vomited with anxiety yesterday when I had to bring him to his father's house.

And then there is their father. We have been divorced for four or five years. He is a narcissitic control freak. He periodically makes plays for us to get back together, saying the boys need us. He dived me because he believed I was having an affair. No such thing occurred, emotionally or physically. I hold marriage sacred. The psychologist who wanted an affair is an international figure, and he fed my need to discuss books, the field, and our lives. One night I was discussing books with this person, and I forgot, neglected to hide the exchange. My ex husband may or may not have suspected it.

I am quite the ret