Dude... Wait... What?
So lately there has been a spate of posts dealing with exes who can't/won't let go.
I remembered this little gem from about six months back.
So my kids are teenagers and they call each other dude all the time, as teenagers are wont to do.
H is super annoyed by it and claims it's hugely disrespectfully, tacky, blah, blah, blah.
I ask where is the disrespect? They aren't calling US dude(like a certain SD who shall remain nameless) they are calling eachother dude. How is this disrespectful to us?
A couple of weeks go by and they're calling each other dude again. H just about loses his shit and claims he has a very goog reason for being annoyed by this but he doesn't want to say anything in front of the kids.
Okay sure whatever.
We leave the room and he tells me it's because XW cheated with a neighbor- probably well over twenty years ago- and this guy was always calling him dude.
Why does this still hurt him so much twenty years later?
Build a fucking bridge and get over it already.
Am I insensitive for feeling this way?
It just seemed so ridiculous to me.
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Comments
It is ridiculous & he
It is ridiculous & he wouldn't be flipping on my kids for calling each other "dude" if he didn't flip on his kid for the same thing.
First...tell him leave your
First...tell him leave your kids alone. Second...he needs some therapy. There is NO reason he should still be freaking about this!
I don't think it has anything
I don't think it has anything to do with him still having feelings for her. I think it is just a memory of a the way he felt when he went through that time in his life.
My ex and I have been divorced for 24 years. I can say with certainty, I have absolutely no feelings for him. However, there is a song that I just can't listen to even now. It is What a Wonderful World.
Every time I hear it, I remember looking outside our home at a tree that had no leaves. It was close to Christmas. I just remember feeling so lonely and empty inside, just like that tree.
Sometimes it isn't the person that the feeling is about. Its just the feeling.
I say dude all the time and
I say dude all the time and I'm a 51yo Gma.
Tell the dude to lighten up.
My first husband turned out
My first husband turned out to be a compulsive gambler. Loss of innocence on my part -- I knew we were miserable but could never get to the root of it till this tidbit came out.
Now we live on opposite ends of the country. I haven't seen him in over 20 years. Don't care one bit about him. If I saw him now I wouldn't have a thing to say to him.
But I still won't go to a casino. Caused way too much pain and chaos in my life. My new mother in law is a wonderful woman who adores me and I adore her. She likes to go to the casino every couple of months. I internally cringe every single time my DH mentions, "I talked to mom - she's going to the casino this weekend with her friend." Cringe every single time.
And I will never ever never go with her. I have no worries about her, she's very responsible and she has no addiction issues. But crossing the threshold of a casino would make ME want to vomit.
I think I can understand your husband. It's just a trigger of a deep, deep pain. Doesn't mean he isn't completely detached from HER. Just brains have a way of throwing up big red DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! alarms when they are exposed to something that has been a harbinger of disaster in the past.
I would have some compassion for him. May not be able to stop teen boys from using that term, but I would throw some sugar his way when he has to endure it.
Your DH needs to get over it.
Your DH needs to get over it. They're not calling HIM dude, they're calling each other dude. As kids will do. WTF. Yet we're supposed to get over the fact that they procreated with nasty ass BMs and expected to love the skids who look and act just like her. HA!