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SD. You are not an object

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 12:51pm

DH found out through a search of SD's computer that she is still talking to the boy that she got caught giving oral stimulation to in the park. If DH would have listened to me he would have realized that forbidding a young girl to date or see a guy only fuels her fire for him. Reading what she writes to this boy troubles me as a woman and a soon to be mother. SD is making herself seem like this boys personal toy, his little sexual object.

When she gets home from her sleep over she will have no more access to the computer or the play station and as far as DH is concerned she no longer has a phone. I try to keep my nose out of certain things but I feel like I need to talk to her. Even if she refuses to listen something I say just might sink in. she needs to understand she is a pretty girl she is smart and wise and she could get any guy she does not need to objectify herself for some snot nosed little boy. She does not need to let anyone use her for anything she is worth more. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of what she has done and might have done in the future to satisfy this guy or any other guy. She needs counseling and parental guidance and hopefully DH is finally waking up.

DH made a call to BM and all she did was chew DH out for invading SD's privacy and tell him he can't stop SD from having sex.

Comments

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 12:58pm

OMG! BM gave your DH crap for being a parent?? You have your hands full with that waste of air.

Good luck with your talk. I hope something sinks in! I feel sorry for her.

svillemomof4's picture

Submitted by svillemomof4 on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 1:07pm

Sounds like what I went through with my younger SD, DH, and BM. Your BM and my BM are two pea's in a pod! Of course your BM act like that until it blows up in her face. Oh, no, then she blames it all on you and DH for not being good parents and following up behind the kid! I hate BM's who should have been sterilized from day one!

It is great that DH has an active roll in her life and is trying to teach her right from wrong. And I hope your talk goes well! You are right, she may not listen but then again she may surprise you. It is obvious from BM's reaction that you are the only good female role model in her life. She is going to need all your support and lots of talks. I wish you the best!

Bossladee's picture

Submitted by Bossladee on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 1:07pm

Well I think it's great your DH 'invaded' SD's 'personal' space, what B.S. that is.... Clearly somebody has to watch out for this girl, if I recall she is only 14? Wtf kind on mother isn't concerned about her daughter being sexually active? Especially so young?!? I don't think it would hurt for you to talk to her either, she should be told she is worth much more than that, even if she says or acts like she isn't receptive, hearing it will be so much better than not being told.

I'm consistently amazed at some of the 'mothering' or 'parenting' in general I read about on here, this is why the world is the way it is. Depressing that people will procreate and then neglect or warp our future.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 6:14pm

^^^^ This ^^^^^

Why wait for her to come back from the sleepover? He should be hauling arse over there and break up her happy little party. Then she has no time to make up excuses or cry all over the place. And if she refuses to come home? He tells her that he is counting to 3 and then he is telling the host mother why SD is removed from the sleep over.

Then he needs to tell her that is she worse than a hooker. At least hookers get paid. Eventually her reputation will travel with her and no boy worth a cent will want to touch her. She can touch him all she wants. But he will not take her to movies or dances or even to meet his mother. No parties (no one wants to school slut there unless she is being passed around).

And as your Dh was once a teen boy he can tell her graphically what her boyfriends are actually thinking when she gives them a HJ or BJ. And I would tell her you are taking her for STD blood checks every 3 months for the next 2 years to make sure she hasn't contracted some nasty painful crippling disease. AIDS is nothing if you think about becoming sterile due to your slutty teenhood.