I have been a step mom for 15 years and I can't take it anymore. Of course I will have to, but I feel like I'm losing my mind. My heart races and I am constantly on edge. I have one step daughter and it feels like I have 20. Her mother is the main source of our frustrations. It never ends, sometimes when we don't hear from her, we will live in harmony, but we know it's coming, it always does.

We gained custody of the skid in '08 after trying for years w/o success. Apparently you have to beat the child in order to lose custody, being a horrible person, and 3x felon doesn't count. The ex-wife's family alerted us of the situation in '08 and we went to get the skid and her belongings from their latest place of residence. Skid did not want to go, but the ex was getting kicked out and had no other place to go. We gained physical custody but joint legal remained. We asked for no support, we wanted to make it as easy as possible for the ex to agree to let the skid go. It worked and October 31, 2008 marked the biggest success in out lives together. But all does not end happily ever after even though we were free from support and could finally parent the skid like real parents should.

No, life's never that easy. It has almost been worse having her here. She came with no moral compass, no work ethic, and an unrelenting faithfulness to her mother no matter what. Now I've known the skid since she was just three and you would think that would make things easier, nope. I thought as she got older she would finally see what her mother has been up to and how she's really done her no good service, nope. It has actually progressively worsened over the last 2.5 years. She has left our home more than once with the idea she was never coming back. That sends my heart racing as we have sacrificed so much and know that her mom desperately needs her "meal ticket" back. That's all the skid has ever been to her mother is a source of income.

Which leads me to another topic, the ex's record. She is a 3x felon and has been arrested so many times I've lost count. Her MO is theft and ID theft. She believes she is owed everything in life and does not need to work for it. The money my husband paid her in child support was her money and when we were relieved of that duty she acted like it was hers and we should be thankful we were getting it back. Huh? Oh, and we're supposed to be spending that entire amount of child support we were paying on Kelli. Apparently I'm supposed to be taking her on $600 shopping sprees every month. As though having another adult in the house does not affect the water, electricity, gas, or food bill. But I digress, back to her record, she's been arrested before and taken from precinct to precinct clearing up her warrants for days on end while the minor/skid stayed at home by herself unbeknown to us. Her furniture has been reposed in the middle of the day while the skid slept in on spring break while the ex was at work. They literally had the police break in to escort the furniture rental company take the furniture right out from under the skid!! She's also been arrested with the skid in the car, but we weren't notified, she called a friend!! My mom calls her the Teflon woman as nothing ever sticks to her, she got time served on her first felony and the last two also got time served and is currently on probation. What a stellar role model.

I'm all for rehabilitation but that's not the case here. I pray that she becomes nicer and obeys the laws, it would make everyone's lives better. If she changed her life around and became a productive member of society, and treated everyone in her world with respect I would not harbor any ill feelings toward her just because she's a felon. People can change, just not her. I've asked her to rethink her ways, to please stop being so mean and nasty, and miserable, but I guess misery loves company. I honestly do pray for her happiness. I would like to like her, she's funny and intelligent, but uses her intelligence for evil. Please look up the definition of sociopath, they wrote it about my husband's ex wife. I was shocked when I read the actual definition, it fits her perfectly. Very manipulative, very selfish, very disillusioned. And there is no known cure except for treatment, but that would mean admitting you have a problem.

As of this past Tuesday the ex has called the police on us and has convinced the skid to move back in with her. You say, but Phenonomom417, you have custody, but you would be wrong. There is a HUGE loophole. She's 18 and has magically turned into an adult overnight and can make her own decisions and can leave our house w/o our permission. And, here's the kicker, if she chooses, because she's an "adult" now, to go live with her mother, then the mom can collect child support for a child who gets to make adult decisions!! How in the hell does that work? The skid has low intelligence, is a teenager, and has a mother who messes with her head and gave her the idea that she has all these magical rights now. No wonder the skid doesn't know if she's coming or going. okay, okay, if I was a teenager I'd want to live with the parent that had no limits/rules and wanted to be my friend. But isn't this where the law should step in? She can't make an informed decision if her intelligence level is as low as it is, and has a mom feeding her BS about her "right." Who thinks about their child's "rights" when they are trying to parent them? Who thinks of their 18 yr old, still in high school as an adult and can come and go as they please? Certainly not us, but were swiftly informed by the law that we can't legally keep her from leaving our house even she has broken one of our rules and we were trying to parent her. Times have changed people!!!!

I've been praying for guidance and peace from the Lord, I've got to give it to Him. I just want Him to ease my mind about the future, that's all I worry about is our future. I'm honestly scared to death that she will collect CS again and send us to the poor house. My husband made $25,000 in 1995 and was ordered to pay $600/month, he makes 3x that now, 15 yrs later, and I have nightmares about what the new amount would be. We would lose our house, and what about my kids? What about their futures? Why do they have to suffer so that the ex can profit? My husband had his paycheck garnished and paid over $100K in child support for 12 years, never ever missed payment. Now we're possibly faced with that again if the skid doesn't come back. She's in her (sort-of) second semester of her senior year. If she actually graduates, the possibility of her having success at Community College is minimal, but mom can still collect in the mean time.

Another tidbit, the skid passed maybe half her classes through middle school, but they still let her move up, and then her first year of high school attended less than half of the time and failed half of her classes, leaving her with 3 credits instead of 6, that's when we got her from her mom. Skid had no idea she failed all of those classes, mom kept it from her. Ex also allowed 14 yr old skid's 18 yr old boyfriend to live in the basement with her. She stayed home 3 out of 5 days of school week to play guitar hero with boyfriend!! So I enroll her in our high school and skid is shocked that she only got 3 credits, on top of that, now the school requires 24 credits instead of 22 to graduate. Which has put her 5 credits behind. That's 5 classes of 2 whole semesters each!! So she starts here and fails classes again, can't follow directions, can't remember homework and class discussions and generally refuses to do any work. We have another IEP done of which she's had since second grade, and her IQ is borderline mentally retarded, no wonder!! She only knows basic math, cannot mulitply, certainly can't do simple division, cannot read and retain any information, can't remember directions, can't juggle six classes and all of their different requirements. You would never know this by meeting her. She keeps her school work very private, only her mom and us know what her real grades are. She tells no one that she fails and is behind in credits, not even her boyfriend. So we get her into the alternative school and it's like a light went off in her head. Finally, success!!! Until 2010 semester 2, and this semester, she started getting Ds. Can't get anything below a 70% in this school or you risk getting kicked out, she got 2 Ds and was put on final probation. Has been receiving Fs and Ds on every 2 week progress report but managed to pull Cs at the last minute, last quarter. Same deal this last quarter. I have no idea how she did on finals, if she gets a D or below she will be kicked out. Did I mention that her school goes from 9am -1:30pm, only 3 classes per quarter and no homework ever? What's the damn deal???