My day as SS11:

I wake up at whatever time I wake up, because I put no forethought into setting an alarm. I will immediately sit down and watch TV in m pajama. I will all the blankets off my bed and curl up in a cocoon on the floor with my feet propped up on the wall. Once I am sufficistenly hungry enough I will stumble out to find dh and whine to ask why I haven't been called to breakfast yet.

Dh will question me as to why I am not at work and I will get a look of panic on the face and say "I forgot". I will return to my room and be doing only god knows what with the door closed for twenty minutes. Dh will call into me asking if I am ready for work yet. I will yell back that I am almost ready and I just have to put on my shirt and pants. After getting distracted ten more times, 40 minutes later I will be dressed for worm. My blankets and pajamas will be left laying on my floor.

Once I get to work several hours late, I will blame my dh for being late because he neglected to wake me up or remind me that I needed to hurry up. I will not be concerned or embarrassed about my tardy arrival.

While at work I will fool around at my desk and accomplish almost nothing....despite constant reminders and warnings from my boss about what I should have accomplished. Before lunch I have shredded two large erasers on my desk and I have the pulverized remains of three pens scattered about. Before lunch I have managed to get the title on one document.

At lunch I spill food all over my computer and down my shirt. I make no effort to clean either. After lunch my boss comes to my door to give me a task and I respond by huffing dramatically, and asking repeatedly why I have to be the one to do it. As soon as he is out of my doorway, I go back to staring at the walls and destroying my office supplies. I will fall out of my chair twice today. When my boss comes to get the products of my work day, I will stare blankly at him and act like I have no idea what he's talking about. This is the first I have ever heard that I am expected to do work. When asked what I have been doing all day I will continue to stare blankly and not say a word.

Once home at the end of the day I will help myself to copious amounts of snack food and sit in front of the TV. I will not see the dishes in the sink, the over flowing trashcans, the smelly litter boxes or the carpet of junk on my own floor. I will continue to veg in front of the TV until dh comments that it is really late and I have work in the morning. I will take 20 minutes to change into my PJs. Today's clothes will be left where they fall.

My day as SD10:

I wake up late, as I was fooling around in bed the night before well past midnight. Dh wakes me and tells me that if I don't hurry I will be late for work. I close the door and put on the TV. I stay watching the TV until I hear dh yelling to me tlasking if I am ready. I reply yes, even though I am still in my pajamas. I exit the room and head towards the bathroom, seemingly to flaunt it in dh face that I just lied to him and am in fact not ready at all. I brush my teeth, b t do not use the bathroom. I walk all the way back to my room and close the door. Two minutes later I walk out half dressed and return to the bathroom to use the toilet. I will leave my morning deposit sitting in the bowl for dh to find, while I finish dressing myself. Dh will ask me again if I am ready for work and I will once again tell him yes....even though I don't have shoes or socks on and my hair isn't brushed out nor have I packed my work bag.

After I finally make it to work just in the nick or time, I will snarkily pass judgment on what all my co workers decided to wear that day. I will spend the morning drifting from office to office chit chatting and spreading gossip. I will quickly bust out some work before lunch and brag to everyone who will listed how great I am at my job.

During my last inch break I will eat more than two grown men should eat and I will have food all over my face. I will smile coyly because, as everyone knows that just so adorable. I will bad mouth my boss and tell lies about several coworkers not present. I will talk incessantly about how great I am. They should really make a movie about my life, by the way.

After lunch I will hurry through a few work tasks and take them to my boss. When he points out a few mistakes and corrections I will roll my eyes at him and tell him he doesn't k ow what he is talking about. I will refuse to do the corrections, I mean, who does he think he is? Telling me I didn't do everything perfect?? I will see a co workers change from lunch on their desk on the way back to my office. I will snatch it on my way by. When an email comes across my desk praising the efforts of a coworker I become enraged and begin spreading vicious rumors about them in an effort to turn the entire office against her. I will finish m day off by making Tue rounds to tell each co worker what it is that they are dong wrong and offer helpful suggestions on how they can be more like me.

I will pick up candy and several orders of fast food on the way home from work. I will then tell dh I am starving as I sit on the couch and wait to be served dinner.

Once dh reminds me that I have to get some rest for work tomorrow I take 40 minutes to chsnge into my pjs while i secretly watch tv. I will make 5 trips to the bathroom, and then i will sit in bed and play by tablet and iPod under my covers until 1am.