It's the same way here only when Dh and ss go camping with the Boy Scouts, it's just me and my dog and 3 cats. However, I'm starting to look at it as a vacation and quiet personal time for myself when they go. Plus, I don't like camping.

I recommend that you plan something that you all can do together and suggest it well ahead of time so they don't already have a camping trip planned.

I don't know about the in-laws.

Dawn

Hi, Peachy.

Just wanted to note that it seems kind of mean that DH's parents don't ask to see your little girl - she's their grandchild too. Have you mentioned that to him? Maybe he doesn't notice? If so, has he mentioned it to them? Do you go along when he and SS visit his parents? Does he take the baby with him and SS?

Just curious - knowing me, I'd dress my baby up in her cutest outfit and bust my big ass in on the party

Blueberry's Baby

We went through this too. I felt the same way you are feeling.

My DH is a BIG outdoorsman. Now that our other 2 boys are 6 and 3, DH takes the older one camping and fishing with him and SS, and has taken him since BS was 3. My little guy isn't ready. He won't sit still in a boat and is awful to sleep with in a tent. We tried that last summer (all together) and it was not fun for BS3 or for me. So, I'm still home with him when DH, SS, and BS go do their thing.

Talk to your DH. Make sure he understands that when your daughter is a little older, she'll go with, or you'll all go together. You are a WHOLE family, not sections of one depending on what day of the week it is.

I remember the lonely feeling and the feeling of being *his weekday family*. It hurt. I know now that DH didn't mean to hurt us. In fact, he was behaving normally.

I always have to try VERY hard to think of how it would be if SS was my bio son too. I don't want to treat him differently, just because he came out of BB's uterus. That's not his fault and nothing he can help. If he were my BS and we were a *normal* family, I would not have felt the way I did about those weekends - and DH still would have taken him camping, fishing, etc. while I stayed home with the little guys. Would your Dh still take SS to do these things on weekends without you and BD if SS were your BS too? Maybe it's been too frequent?

Just a thought. It took me a while to realize that DH was just doing what he would normally do if we were not a blended family.

For me, it if weren't a blended family, my husband (imaginary, lol) would NOT be making plans two weekends in a row that don't include my youngest or myself. Just, no. A camping trip here and there, sure. Fishing once in a while, great. But not TWO consecutive weekends! That is your FAMILY time as much as it's his time with his son. You don't disappear when his son comes around...at least, this is how I feel. I regret not nipping this behavior by STBX in the bud in the beginning. First it was little trips like this that we were left out of, then it was STBX and his son planning their weekends RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME without asking me at all what I might want to do. They'd make plans and STBX would tell me. IF I made a different suggestions, STBX would tell me to go do what I wanted but they were sticking to their plans. It was out of hand and because I allowed it since I felt bad for STBX, I went along.

This coddling of the stepchildren has got to stop. My ss has TWO bedrooms, TWO sets of toys, FOUR bikes, TWO Christmas "mornings", TWO birthday parties, etc. He doesn't remember when STBX and BB were married and he LOVES his SF so he's not suffering from the split. Yet whenever he's with us, we have to move heaven and earth to be sure that he and STBX spend "quality time" and do fun things so SS won't be bored. Maybe my parents were tyrants, but when I grew up, no one took me camping, fishing, to the amusement park, on a shopping spreee, etc., every friggin weekend. Once in a while, we got a treat. We always had family weekends, but we did things that EVERYONE could participate in but for the rare occasion that it didn't work out that way.

I think you should talk to your DH. Let him know how this makes you feel and don't allow him to play the "me and my boy" card. That's bullshit, IMO. You and DD are NO LESS important.

K