I guess no one who comes here has it easy. That's certainly the case for me. Being a step-parent/girlfriend is new territory for me, though I've worked with children my whole life, and I am a stepchild myself. My bf is so wonderful and I absolutely adore him and thankfully I am 100% secure in the knowledge that he feels the same way too. Everything generally is awesome. We rarely argue and when we do voices are never raised in anger and we always work it out. But no doubt the biggest stressor in our home (our - I moved in about 6 months ago)is his 6 year old boy.

There were issues before I came along but these days it's gone from the occasional tantrum to a daily explosion of anger and rage. I usually take a back seat, that's the way the bf wants it, and I do my best but it is hard!!
Last week the screams were so bad I actually left the house, and it's not the first time I have done that. I grabbed by book, got a hot chocolate and sat alone in a school parking lot until it was safe to go back home.

My bf does his very best. He really does. He is a great dad but of course thinks he's terrible because of his reactions to the tantrums. It breaks my heart.

Because of these episodes, sometimes lasting 30-60 minutes in length, I find it really hard to like the child. I mean, you shouldn't have to try to like a child!!!! It kills me! I feel so guilty and I can't stand it. There are times when he is wonderful. His laugh in infectious. But those other times??? I feel like running away.

I've always been a natural with kids. They gravitate to me. But this is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. I feel lost! Sometimes when I try to connect with him I get sneered and yelled at so that makes me not want to even bother anymore.

I have to remind myself that he is just a child and doesn't know how to express himself but it's not an easy task when he's screaming that he wishes his dad and I weren't together.

So what's a girl to do???

I have no say. But do I want say? I get little affection. Of course I want that. I'm not his mom. So I'm reminded every time she darkens our doorway. Do I even want to be that? (Clarification - I know I'm not his mom and I would never take over, but it would be nice to feel like more than I do.)

Anyway, if anyone out there reads this and has a similar experience and wants to share that would be great.
Best of luck to you all out there in the same boat!!!

A