If you remember my blog from last week, FSS6 told the incubator that she wasn't his mother anymore he had overworked now. I guess after that little visit (2 weeks ago), coupled with the news that she wasn't having a girl but (GASP!) a boy, she has disappeared on yet another drug binge.

Back story- she and her family were devastated to find out she was having a boy when she had my FSS. Her mother even refused to hold him when he was born saying that she didn't know what to do with "that". Now the grandmother has gotten much better but after FSS was about 3 and no longer the cute baby the incubator had less and less to do with him and now she disappears for months on end, pops in for a week or 2 and disapears again.

I feel so badly for this child she is carrying. I know I need to separate myself since I will have nothing to do with the child anyway but to know it is probably going to come into the world addicted to God knows what, possibly with FAS or retardation. It just breaks my heart, I honestly think she is trying to kill the baby. I can say kill at this point considering she is 7+ months along and I have had friends deliver surviving babies earlier than that.

Anyway, I guess I am having bitter sweet emotions about the whole ordeal right now. I am happy she is gone and our lives can go back to normal for a while. But I am sad that she is such a piece of shit that has the ability to procreate- especially when FDH and I really want to have another child but I have to have a reversal on my tubal (6K) and then only have a 80% and that's if my PCOS doesn't mess me up too much.