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Living apart until skids age out

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Submitted by onelife on Tue, 08/01/2017 - 8:22pm

For those of you who are living apart from your spouse/partner until the skids age out, please elaborate and tell me how it works.

Still, my DH wants to be married. I do not approve of his parenting or of his communication with BM etc. I cannot be around it. When it is just the two of us, we are pretty good. When BM and skids enter, we all hate each other. OK, I hate it and can't live with it. I've talked it all to death and nothing is changing and my concerns go invalidated.

30, 29, 28...19 days.

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Submitted by onelife on Sun, 06/11/2017 - 5:45pm

My counselor asked me, "Would you accept your life the way it currently is, one year from now?"

NO!!! I didn't even let him finish the question. We talked more about the skids, DH and just all the things I am sick of and could not possibly tolerate for one more year.

Later in the day, I thought to myself, "yeah but what about 6 months?" My answer was still no.

3 months. Would I tolerate my life as it is, 3 months from now? No.

Game on! 2 months? Nope.

ONE MONTH...30 DAYS?

NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Clearing Emotional Clutter

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Submitted by onelife on Sun, 05/14/2017 - 2:43pm

On this Mother's Day, I would like to share some healing with you.
I've stored my mother's belongings in countless dusty boxes for over a decade and every time I see her boxes, I feel sad.
I see her candy molds, cookies press, cake decorating and cooking tools galore and I miss her and the sound of a bustling kitchen. Her old sewing machine sits in the basement. I can't make it all the way through a hem without tears filling my eyes. She and I had so many moments at that sewing machine.

Time to Start Your Financial Makeover!

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Submitted by onelife on Wed, 05/10/2017 - 5:10pm

Let's talk money today!

One of the top reasons for marital fights and divorce is MONEY. One of the top reasons someone stays in a marriage they don't want to be in is MONEY! Whether you are wanting to get finances under control for yourself or with your spouse, a budget is in order. My spouse did not want anything to do with that so I did it MYSELF! Guess what? Now DH wants to know how I did it and he wants me to help him do it too.

What Advice Would You Give Your PAST Self?

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Submitted by onelife on Fri, 05/05/2017 - 10:46am

Get your daily AFFIRMATIONS done Smile I am confident. I am unstoppable...

Boost your morning with some positivity and let's jump in.

What if your past self came to visit your present self? What advice would you give yourself?

For me, I would tell my past self to NEVER MARRY A MAN WITH KIDS. Do not budge on this for anything self!

Ditch the Blame, Try Empowerment

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Submitted by onelife on Thu, 05/04/2017 - 1:16pm

My voice and my body both had a nervous tremor due to stress. I cried in private often if not daily. Most of my thoughts were centered around the skids, BM and resentment. I feared my emotional and physical problems were turning permanent. I was not getting what I needed from my spouse, yet I gave years, waiting for him to be what I needed. I resented him every day and I loathed myself for marrying so poorly and for staying in a situation I despised. But 'when it's good, it's good.' That's the statement that had wasted years of my life.

There's life out there. No one is trapped.

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Submitted by onelife on Wed, 05/03/2017 - 2:22pm

Those of you who have been along for some of this journey of mine have been marvelous cheerleaders, cheering me on to LEAVE the DH and LEAVE the skids. As I told you, that is now the plan, although DH wants to remain together at all costs. If he can make it work and continues to 'behave', I am for it. He can hop on a plane to see the skids. He'll end up seeing them more and paying less in transportation and time.

Overpaid on CS/ no longer slave to the weekend skids

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Submitted by onelife on Tue, 04/25/2017 - 9:50pm

Remember how DH has to pay BM an additional $22 per day if he doesn't take his 8 day parent time? BM was treating the 8 days per month as mandatory.

First of all DH moved 300 miles away from BM and the skids so at most he only sees them every other weekend. (4 days, not 8.) So BM was charging DH $22 per day he missed...$88 on top of child support.

Goodbye my little liabilities!

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Submitted by onelife on Tue, 04/18/2017 - 5:37pm

Just an update:

I am going to an attorney with DH so he stops getting played by his greedy ex. He's been tiptoeing around her for years because he agreed in their divorce decree, not to move more than 150 miles away. He moved 300 miles away. (It's not far enough LOL)
Divorced people move all the time! He thinks she has recourse and she just doesn't. She doesn't even have the gas money to bring the skids halfway here this weekend. Guess she should not have gone on that extravagant Mexico trip with her boyfriend.

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