Facebook problems again............
I know how most on here feel about facebook, But alot of people use it to keep in touch with friends and relatives far away. Me included.
I am fairly new at it, I really wasnt into it until my daughter moved 1500 miles away.
So here is my question if anyone knows.
I have all my privacy settings set to friends and friends of friends only. Most are just friends including pics and personal info.
Somehow BM and or skids-tobe are able to go on my page and she actually says through text to my BF that I am saying things that are harmful to her and her kids and I swear to you I am not.
Last nite I posted on my status this,
"Guys are stubborn, but finally hearing "hey hon, you were right" is music to my ears.
someone then answered me,
"What?"
I answered
"you know who and its about sleds, and he even got a thankyou"
Ok just to confuse you all a bit more the story behind that is, BM has been hounding BF through text to bring the skids thier sleds. His contention was the skids spend every fri,sat,sun with him and he wants the sleds with him because he knows she wont send them back.
I spoke to him and he took the kids thier sleds and Bm then sent a Thankyou about 4 hours after.
After I posted on facebook what I said above she lit him up with 13 text saying how she was printing out everything I post and It would hold up in court and how it was hurtful to the skids and bla bla bla
sooooo
my question is, If she is not my friend, or any of my friends friends, which I have checked on all 34 of my friends, then the only thing I can come up with is she made a fake account just to stalk my page.
I do not say hurtful things about her or my skids-tobe I am talking to my friends and family. I am just not that way. And I never use names.
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How about not putting
How about not putting anything to do with your marriage or SKs on your profile? Then you don't have to worry about it. People often share way TMI on there, in my opinion. Although you could say nice things about SKs. That would be funny.
But I guess what burns me up
But I guess what burns me up is that I should be able to post about my life to my friends.
I dont call names, I dont harass, I just post the same things my friends to about thier daily lives and loved ones. I am not posting to her, So why does she think she has the right to tell me what I can and cannot post on MY facebook?
I dunno why it angers me but it does. Yeah I do, Because she lights up my BFs phone with text daily about what a Wh@re I am and constantly tries to get him to break up with me and calls me names in those text and my kids and I am nothing but nice.
And like I said, I checked and she is not on ANY of my friends list as a friend.
"I should be able to post
"I should be able to post about my life to my friends."
Here's the thing about FB: No matter what you think may be a private conversation, there is always going to be someone who lets the cat out of the bag, intentional or not. Moreover, posting personal family matters (squabbles or what have you) is ALWAYS a bad idea. I know it's very tempting and easy to spout off/vent to your FB friends/family, but in reality your best bet is to keep anything you post VERY generic in nature. If people want details (or you want to reveal details) tell them to call or email your private email account).
You have Have HAVE to remember that anything you post on FB or in private messages on FB can (and likely will) be copied and shared w/someone you DON'T want to know what you've spoke of. Also keep in mind that anything you post and perhaps later delete may still be viewable in a 'cache' version when someone searches your name on google or some other search engine. Again, you have to be discrete in what you reveal in your FB discussions. JMO.
I agree about not posting
I agree about not posting personal squabbles, Thats why I keep it Light and silly mostly. And I dont think I said anything hurtful to anyone. But its good to know about the searches.
Am thinking, Facebook is more problems than its worth.
Yeah. You'll run into
Yeah. You'll run into problems though when people interpret things incorrectly and/or just want to stir the pot, ya know?
Ok, done, Changed to friends
Ok, done, Changed to friends only, But there is a reason I did it that way, My kids have friends that like to say Hi or tell me stuff, but I dont want to add them as friends. So now they cant post to me.
And that is what I am talking about, Why does BM get to control ANOTHER thing in my life?!!!
I think that is what is bothering me most here. She always wins.
Hell I may just delete my FB. I lived without it before..........
Some are surprised just how
Some are surprised just how unnecessary FB is in one's life.
Block BM from your FB page
Block BM from your FB page then she will not be able to view anything even if she is a friend of a friend - also as someone mentioned she may be friends with one of your friends and checking out your FB profile with them. If your kids friends want to tell you hi or something tell them to text you - I keep my FB for my adult friends and family I don't allow anyone under 21 on my account - just a rule I have!
She is blocked, that is why I
She is blocked, that is why I dont know how she is doing it, and why she is threatening me with court about harassing her.
I dont say a thing about her or the skids. NOTHING
I post about me, my kids, BF, work, but never them.
Thank you and I did
Thank you
and I did
Are you sure none of these
Are you sure none of these friends of yours are friends with her IRL?
Maybe one of the people on your friends list are her real life friend, and she sees your page when she goes there to visit?
Maybe she created fake account with the name of the person you know, and you accepted her as a friend?
Are you sure all these 30 ppl on your list are the real people you know?
Blocking won't really stop
Blocking won't really stop her though, anyone can make up a fake name and account. Changing everything to "friends only" will solve the problem.
I rather agree. I have a
I rather agree. I have a relative that I don't get along with and blocked her from my (now deactivated) account. So what did she do to try and figure out what I was up to? Had two other relatives contact me 'coincidently' the next day to ask me to 'friend' them...these being people I have not heard from in years and whom I knew she was in constant contact with. I finally got sick of the BS and just got the h*ll off that stupid FB. I simply don't understand the fascination w/posting everything one is doing for all the world to read about. I think for small business purposes, FB is an excellent marketing tool, but for personal matters it's better left 'on the shelf'. JMHO of course.
Some people ARE so insecure
Some people ARE so insecure in themselves that they feel better when they 'stalk' a target around to harrass them. That is one of the reasons I think 'anonymous' places such as StepTalk are valuable...we can vent w/out revealing our true identities nor those of whom we are venting about. I think that is a better utilization for family matters than the likes of FB, MySp or what have you.
Here is what I did, because I
Here is what I did, because I don't trust FB.. you know? How do you know that what you have your settings at is actually working or maybe I am not understanding something correctly?
so I created a fake account and "friended" myself. That way I can sign on to my fake account anytime I do anything with my privacy settings and check my page to see what it looks like to "friends of friends" Then I can also de-friend my fake account and make sure that my privacy in on lock down to just regular schmucks that I don't know.
Probably sounds like a big waste of time, but I seriously found a couple of times when I thought I had my privacy set a particular way that it was NOT, so this way I can give myself peace of mind by being able to check.
BM is blocked and I don't friend anybody I don't know personally.... so if that is your case as well, I have no idea how she could be seeing your wall.
ew.. that's scary!!!
ew.. that's scary!!!
I keep my FB set where
I keep my FB set where EVERYTHING is "Friends Only" & I have my "friends" list hidden. I also have my account set to where I am unsearchable. I never accept random requests.
The only way people can find me is by me searching & requesting them as a friend, or them finding me through a comment I have made somewhere on one of my friends pages.
It sucks to have to be so careful with it, but I know how easy it is to gain access to infomation others (BM & skids) don't want me to have. I just make sure I stay one step ahead & cover all my bases.
Like DaizyDuke, I also use my fake profile to double check the security on my page.
I have two FB accounts. One
I have two FB accounts. One with my married name and one with my maiden name.
The reason I have done this is two-fold. One so I can be "friends" with skids and not have to worry about BM finding out things I don't want her to. And the other is so I can keep up with my friends from back when I was single....including males, which my H is too insecure to "allow" otherwise.
All good advise, but I
All good advise,
but I seriously think I will just disable the damn thing. And tell my friends and family from afar to email me..............