BM using SS to guilt trip BF into dropping petition to modify
Here's an email that BM sent to BF this morning. Interestingly, according to this email SS has already missed one day of school and it's only the second week they've been back. Considering that this was sent at 7:30 this morning, and BM claims to have been writing what SS was saying, apparently he's not in school today either...Here's the email:
Dad:
I have been upset all weekend over what you asked me about living with you and not with mom. I told mom about it when I got home on Sunday. I don't want you to take me from mom ever. Mom takes very good care of me and I'd be lost without her and she would be lost without me. I have had a bad headache for a few days and even threw up yesterday and missed school because of it. I think it's the stress of worrying that you will try to take me away from mom. Please don't go through with this. Can we leave things like they have been? There's times I don't like to visit but mom tells me that I need to because you are my dad and love me but right now I don't feel like you love me or you wouldn't be hurting me or mom like you are.
Please dad don't go through with this custody thing. I got mom to type this for me since she types faster but the idea and words are from me. She says she's trying to stay out of the middle of things with me and you but dad she's hurting bad because of this and that stresses me out too. You know that mom has always put me first no matter what and that she always will. Will you please drop this thing for me?
I love you dad, but right now you are hurting me bad and make me not want to even visit you at all and I don't want to feel that way.
Love SS
I don't know if any of this is true or if she's just projecting her feelings onto SS. BF talked to SS this weekend about what he's doing and why. He explained to him that his mother couldn't afford to take care of him right now, and that BF wanted to make sure that he was taken care of until BM got back on her feet and could do it on her own. SS understood and said that he would do the same thing. The first thing that she says is "I have been upset all weekend," which I don't understand because SS had a great weekend and didn't act upset at all. If he was mad at BF he sure didn't show it...he was more affectionate to BF this weekend than he has been all summer. I think she is desperate because she knows that she has a chance of losing custody or she wouldn't be begging him not to go through with it. It just makes me sick when she pulls crap like this. SS has his own voice, and he can voice his own opinions and feelings. He doesn't need his mother to write an email for him "because she types faster."
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OMG! That is so evil, what
OMG! That is so evil, what a terrible thing for her to write! No way a kid wrote that....
what a witch
print that out and bring it to court
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
call the school...
call and see if he is in school this morning. If he is, I would write "him" back and ask what's going on after all that they talked about this weekend.
It doesn't matter
It really doesn't matter at the end of the day what SS wants or how bad he or his mom feels. He's a child, and you and DH as the adults, need to do what's best for him. Even if that means it hurts his or his mother's feelings.
But I do think that he didn't write that email. I think BM did, so absolutely print it up and use it in court. This kind of emotional blackmail shouldn't be allowed to continue.
Good luck!
Stepup
OMG
that is absolutely terrible.......BUT she just gave you proof of emotional abuse.....use it to your advantage!
Pathetic!
"I had my mom type this for me because she types faster" give me a break! that is like a classic line add lib some to someone trying to lie about what another person has said to get their way. How old is your SS? Wonder if he knows she sent the email?
In addition...
we are going for 50/50 with my ss and his BM tells him he will never see his little brother and things like that to make him think we are taking him and trying to hurt her and him. So I told SS it does not matter what he wants, what mom wants or what dad wants it will be what the judge decides is best. Sounds that way in your case. Also if mom was always putting him first there would be running water and electricity in the house. Have H call his school and get his attendance report for last year if lots of school missed is a suspicion!
sounds familiar
What is amazing is that you are expected to fall for that !!! It is laying it on pretty thick.......Sadly, BM are so manipulative that they make their own children feel sorry for them, and protective of them, when it should be the other way around. I can't tell you the amount of shock I have faced everytime we have heard the words, " you are hurting my mom". It is incredible. However, that is the way they are brain washed, and unless you want to lower yourself to their level, there isnt much you can do other than be supportive and keep the kids best interests at heart, they will eventually see the truth.
Every town has an Elm Street
Oh Nymh...
This woman just aggravates me to no end....
The court does not like it when a parent drags the child into the middle like she is doing.
I'd lose it on my ex-husband if he were to 'e-mail' me a dictation from my child. I'd reply with an e-mail that says 'I love you very much, but leave the adult stuff to the adults..."
Argh. I can't stand that woman.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Write back
and say, "I know that is you BM! I am doing what is best for SS, not you."
She must be worried and I say, you keep going, whatever judge says goes (but I hope you get what you want!) I can't believe she is manipulating a child like that!!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin