BM upset about us taking SS on fun weekend trips and sleeping arrangements
A message from BM - apparently she got internet access back (so I guess the part-time teaching job she claims to have gotten is legit):
"I don't like SS going to these things as you well know. However, I know that my feelings about this don't matter. I am asking though that you email me all contact info for where you will be: room, etc. I'm also asking that you all refrain from any use of alcohol while SS is with you. SS has also voiced dislike regarding the sleeping arrangements the last time you attended such an event. While I understand the situation with you and her, he doesn't and has some major issues with various things. I'm asking that you consider his feelings regarding sleeping arrangements whether it be getting a connecting room or just waiting until he goes to sleep before you go to bed and making sure you arise prior to him. I'm not trying to cause issues but rather make you aware of how SS feels and views things."
Last time we went - about a month ago - we got one hotel room with two beds, SS slept in one bed, and BF and I slept in another. Is this inappropriate? BF and BM have been separated for 10 years now and divorced for 3. BF and I have been together for 5 years. SS has been coming for overnight visits in our home for 3 years. The entire time, she's warned us that SS doesn't like the fact that he knows we sleep in the same bed and cautions us to go to bed after him and get up before him so he doesn't have to "know" that we're sleeping together. Um, he's not stupid! Our home has three bedrooms - ours, SS's, and BD's. It's not like I crawl into the crib with BD!
I told BF to tell her that if she wants to give us $300 we'd be glad to get a connecting room. Otherwise, we'll go on our family outings as we please. It's not like we're sleeping naked in the same room as him! Am I silly to think that she's making a big deal out of nothing? I honestly think that she will continue to send emails like this until SS is an adult. We'll have SS 16 years old and she'll be sending emails about how he supposedly doesn't appreciate me helping to teach him how to drive...or 17 years old and how he doesn't like talking to us about girlfriends or colleges. Because don't you know, he's going to live with his Mommy forever and never move out or have his own wants, opinions and dreams about life!
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Comments
No Way
BM has no right to say anything about your BF and your sleeping arrangements. You have been a constant in SS's life for the last 5 years. All she is trying to do is diminish your role in both BF and SS's lives and control what is happening.
My DH and I lived together before we were married and our BM tried saying something also. DH put her in her place pronto. What goes on in your home, as long as it does not harm SS, is none of her business. There is nothing wrong with showing SS what a healthy, normal relationship is between two adults. And that includes two adults sharing a bed to sleep.
Well we can deduct...
from previous posts that your BM is not a religious person so forget her. That would be the only reason I would see this as a concern to a BM is that if she was a God fearing woman and if that were the case then you would get emails that SS states he does not like the fact that ya'll live together! She is just jealous as she has no one to love and sleep with at night.
Ours did the same thing
didn't want us sleeping in the same bed before we were married. I have a bad baclk so it sucked, when we had the kids because one of us had to sleep on the couch when we were at DH's.
Guess what as soon as we got married her & her tool BF started sleeping in the same bed with 5 kids in the house. SS11 at the time told her it was wrong & that he didn't like it & somehow that was our fault too.
I say screw her, we all know she is a nut job! Your time, you sleep where ever you want.
I agree.. screw her.. she
I agree.. screw her.. she has no right. NONE.. its not like you two are doing it in front of him.. your SLEEPING.. she doesnt like it.. too bad, so sad...
Have fun on your weekends.. She is just jealous that she cant go on these fun outtings. I assume you dont change your sleeping arrangements at home, so they shouldnt change on your vacas.
Oh yeah.. I forgot to
Oh yeah.. I forgot to address the drinking thing.. You can do that too.. its not like your drinking then putting the kids in a car and driving them around town. She has no right to tell you what you can or can not do in your home.
Unless the two of you are falling down drunk every night you have him.. she should have no concerns. its perfectly acceptable to be able to have a glass of wine at dinner, etc.
I am sure she is no saint, and drinks when it suits her needs.
That is
ridiculous she is trying to control where you sleep!!I would tell her to get a friggen life and move on omg.
Completely agreed Sam
the woman is trying to control the situation that she has no right to. There is nothing wrong with those sleeping arrangements. Talk to SS tell him what his BM said and explain to him that this is normal behavior--nothing wrong with it. I would tell BM to get a life and she may say she doesn't want to start anything when she does the exact opposite.