Background: BM is the consummate lecturer. She has lectured DH on a range of subjects over the years. She attempted to lecture me, but I cut her off at the pass. Told her if she wanted to meet with me I would do so when she apologized for all her rudeness over the years. That never happened, so she never got the chance to lecture me. Bahahahaha!

She's passed this unfortunate trait onto her children. SD 20-3/4 and SD24. 

DS12 -- 7th grade -- decided he wanted to dress up like a girl/woman for the Halloween costume contest at school this year. I hate that they are doing this in middle school, but whatever. I took him to the thrift shop and we got him a dress, a handbag, and some ridiculous platform with serious heels shoes. I was in fear for his ankles, but nothing but those shoes would do. Then we went to a costume store and got him a blonde wig. He's 100% Ethiopian, so the wig with his complexion was priceless. His entire outfit was priceless. I put him in a padded bra and gave him a camisole to wear under the dress since it was so low cut. He worked the look, let me tell you. He's totally got the personality to pull it off, and he makes a pretty woman. 

His sisters are always cracking each other up about any stupid little thing, so I texted them a photo of him in his outfit. I expected crying with laughter emojis, but I got advice on how to "do" his wig into a braid -- he wanted his hair just long and to be able to flip it with his hand, advice to add a small but simple necklace -- he didn't want a necklace, and instructions to make sure he wasn't offending anyone who is experimenting with their sexual orientation. OMBG. He's TWELVE. He's just being funny. Is Some Like It Hot offensive now? Tootsie? Mrs. Doubtfire? 

I told them I didn't need their parenting advice and to please keep it to themselves. 

SD20-3/4 responded "Seriously?"

I responded "Seriously, SD20-3/4, seriously." Because I felt lecture mode coming on. She spent 20 minutes on the phone one time lecturing me about how she felt like we never listen to her. When I acknowledged her feelings and then pointed out a case where I did listen and offer to make changes based on her age, she was done with that conversation. Sooo not going there again.

I sent a final text that I thought they would find the photo fun, but clearly I was wrong and I wouldn't make that mistake again. Then I blocked both their numbers from my phone. 

I posted the photo to FB and EVERYONE is cracking up. He won fourth place in the school costume contest. 700 kids and he won fourth place. If the vote had been up to the kids, he would have come in first. But lord help me, I was going to get a lecture from 20-3/4, and had already received parenting advice from 24 on it. Because they both have kids -- NOT. 

I wonder if I should run his trick or treating costume by them before letting him out the door in half an hour. He's dressing as a Pats fan. We live in New York State. I'm sure they can advise me on how I should address this with him.