Total reversal overnight?
Over the holidays we did many things as a family, meaning me, DH, skid (9) and bioson (17). Everyone got along great. UNTIL Friday night. We had a great Thanksgiving day together, were exhausted when we came home that night. All was good. We spent all day friday in the city, shopping and eating and visiting with family. We got home late that night.
SD did not want to go to bed, she wanted to stay with us - it was almost 11 pm, so NO WAY. Time for bed, esp for her. BioSon was in his room for the night, DH and I wanted to unwind before we went to bed. SD flat out did not want to go to bed this time. She has her TV on every night, so its not like she couldnt watch until she fell asleep.
She cried, and yelled and cried loudly and yelled for DH, knocked on our door, cried, yelled, cried more. DH had told her no more, go to sleep, at various times. He did not go in when she called, after the first time. Consistency. But no matter, she continued for 3 hours. I finally got up, opened our door, turned her around and walked her into her room, told her to get in bed and do not get out. GO TO SLEEP. This is ridiculous.
More crying, sobbing, crying louder and louder. I got up again 15 min later when she knocked on our door again. By now I was pissed. Did the same thing. Told her look, you woke me up, you woke up the 17 yo, and this is NOT happening anymore. Get in that bed and do not get out again. Dont even think about coming out of your room again. I was pissed as hell by this point.
I knew if DH got up or she heard his voice she would keep on. After about 10 min it was quiet. She was out.
My issue, why all of a sudden would she start acting up like this? Now she does this every night, not for as long, but it happens. She wont even get near me now, I think I scared her. I dont really care about that. Its totally ridiculous to act this way at her age and for no obvious reason, other than she wants DH's attention and to get her way. She is 10 in a couple weeks. She is always being told how smart she is, but acting like a 4 yo is making me wonder.
She cries over everything now, I say no to her, she cries. She has been pouty ever since. She asked DH if I was mad at her, he said yes, probably. She is disappointed in the way you acted. She hasn't changed her actions. She wants DH to stay in her room now, which he will not. He says goodnight, tucks her in, blah bla bla, and thats it. She starts crying when he leaves her room.
I just dont get it. What is going on? I get that she is more emotional than a boy (that I raised) but it just came out of nowhere.
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I hope its not soon, I AM NOT
I hope its not soon, I AM NOT READY. I am all she has, basically, for a female role model presently. BM is not around really. I was hoping we had a couple years before this stuff started.
Yeah, I get the overtired
Yeah, I get the overtired part. Very well could be part of it. thanks for the input.
I am pretty sure now that it
I am pretty sure now that it has to do with BM. Has to be anxiety and worry about seeing her again, and if she would try to take her away again. Cant believe I didnt put this together before. Thanks
I wondered if it was being
I wondered if it was being overly tired, but its every night now. Some worse than others. Her sullen, whiney mood is just killing me, I am not used to such emotions.
She came to live with us FT some months back, so that was a huge change. But she adjusted well and all was good. But now that I think about it more, it could be because of BM (what isnt?). She hasnt seen her in months, only spoken by phone, and their first meeting is in December probably.
Ok, I am now sort of seeing a pattern. But really? Are they really scared of their own rooms at age 10?
She came to live with you
She came to live with you full time and is now going to see her mother (maybe) in a few weeks. She may be scared her mother will take her back with her.
I would say... be consistent, explain to her that after Daddy tucks her in then you will be coming if she calls. Dad needs his sleep just like she does.
Go around the house and check the locks on doors and windows. Remind her she is safe and no one can get her. Also the exhaustion will screw her up for a wee while. And then the hormones. Blech!
Be kind. She may think her mother will take her away or not turn up. Either would make for sleepless nights. Maybe turn the TV on for her at night before she goes into her room so she has SOME noise there.
Yeah, everything you said
Yeah, everything you said hits it on the head. This very well could be why. I hadnt really thought how much that may all be affecting her, other than just being worried about her taking her. Makes total sense.
I also didnt think her
I also didnt think her hormones would start kicking in this early. I am dreading what comes next, if this is so. Very scarey ...
Here's a nog thing, do Not
Here's a nog thing, do Not let her sleep in in the morning.
Get her up.when you do....she lives with the consequences of being up late.
I had a nightmare around age 9. Someone broke in and tried to kill the family. It was extremely scary and it was a repeater. My SM would never allow me to receive comfort. I was petrified of the dark after that. It would have been nice for someone to tell me everything would be ok.
Dad should get up.tell her everything is fine, ask her not to get up again.
Now I feel even worse, like I
Now I feel even worse, like I was horrible for making her go back to bed. ARGHHH....
I hear what your saying though. I'm not mean to her, but I am firm. DH isnt as firm, and his firmness is really soft. I raised a boy, so its natural for me to be tougher.
She only gets to sleep in on the weekend, if even then. Due to the size of our house and the noise factor (hardwood everywhere), nobody sleeps if someone is up usually. Thanks for the advice
My DD8 just went thru a bout
My DD8 just went thru a bout for about two weeks. Come to find out she had watched a scary movie with her cousins while with her dad on his wkend. Could that be the case for her? If not then I bet her possibly seeing her mom again in Dec could be worrying her. Perhaps she is worried about all that, what it'll be like, will mom be mad at her for x,y or z-- if she's happy at your home. Just a thought.
Hope it all gets better for all of you soon. Being sleep deprived can really mess with ya.
We asked her, separately, and
We asked her, separately, and got about the same reasoning. We had been in a crazy busy city all day and she says she was nervous after being around all those people. Ok, I get that, but she had been doing this prior to that, just not to such an extent.
I think its due to the impending visit with BM in the next few weeks. BM had custody prior to June, SD lived with her ft, and was being PAS'd heavily. THEN - BM ran off with her, out of state, earlier this year and she obviously has some anxiety that she may do it again. Makes total sense, now. Just the blow up overnight into such a huge deal has thrown us for a loop.