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'Cohabitant'

NotTheRealMom's picture

Submitted by NotTheRealMom on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 7:27pm

That's what I am. It's the place between roomate and spouse...and it sucks. I've begun disengaging from the Skids. It's hard, but not emotionally, which suprised me. It's more hard as in, 'I want to yell at you for what you're doing right now, but I won't!. I just don't care enough.' I think that it might actually be some kind of great....

But, before I resign myself to that kind of happiness, I realize that smiles cannot be replaced by nonchalance; and that the small touch that means so much is quick to dissepate when the BM rears her ugly head....I guess that this life is not for the weak of heart. BLAH.

Comments

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 7:48pm

Let me just say that things don't get better but harder. If you are not up to it move out now. Save yourself and the others all the trouble.

NotTheRealMom's picture

Submitted by NotTheRealMom on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 7:53pm

I feel like I can be up to it. I WANT to be up to it. It's a million times harder than I ever thought any of this would be. Once upon a time, someome posted a blog on here. 'Did We Really Know What We Were Getting Ourselves Into?' No. I didn't know; and it's hard....all the time. But I love him. I love him more than enough to try. I wish that made it less hard....
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Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 8:06pm

Good I am glad to hear you have made up your mind. May I offer a suggestion?? Pick and choose your battles. To me it isn't about disengaging but knowing when the right time is to talk to BD on the kids behavior.

If you pick at all of the things that get to you if will be way harder on all of you. Let him deal with BM, don't address her, don't talk to the kids about her (refer them to the BD), and try not to get swept in. That is the best advice I can offer.

NotTheRealMom's picture

Submitted by NotTheRealMom on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 9:33pm

Thank you. I appreaciate the advice. I'm still really new to the 'disengage' option, so the 'pick and choose' is something I want to do.... in time. That's actually what I feel like I will be best at, not totally removing myself, just choosing the times that I can get out! sheesh....
________________________________________________________________________
Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov