At the end of May during one of our pickups of SD5, BM came out on the porch solo. She had a lengthy discussion with DH. Of course, as SM, I'm not allowed on the porch so I sat in the car wondering "what in the world is it this time?" As we got on our way with SD5, DH says "you're not going to believe this one!!" According to BM, while they were on vacation, SD5 began gyrating her hips a lot. When BM asked SD5 where she learned that, supposedly SD5 said "that's how Daddy and SM exercise." If what BM said were true, then I can completely understand her concern. I wouldn't want my 5 year old witnessing anything inappropriate while visiting their father. However, we live in a small house in close proximity to my two BSs. SD5 is only with us EOW. So if there is any marital activity in the house and the children are in the house, it is always at night after they are asleep and our bedroom door is always locked. So, there is absolutely no way SD5 witnessed anything. And that is exactly what DH told BM when she inquired about it on the porch. We thought the subject was done at that point.

At the beginning of July BM sent DH a letter explaining to him that she had begun taking SD5 to counseling "to make sure the new visitation schedule did not detrimentally effect her mental well-being." That is the bullsh*t excuse she gave us. During one of the counseling sessions that DH attended, the counselor asked DH about the accusation BM made in regards to our "exercising." Again, DH assured both BM and the counselor that we are extremely cognitive of the children and would never allow any of the children to be exposed to anything inappropriate. He assured them that when he and I are intimate, the bedroom door is locked. Always!!! The counselor said that she did not see any evidence that SD5 had witnessed such activity. She believed that she had seen something that had upset her, but she could not verbalize it. It couldn't possibly be that BM fills her head with how horrible DH is and this confuses her when she sees how great her Dad is? NO, that couldn't possibly cause any trauma in a 5 yo. Seriously!!

On Friday we received a letter from BM of which a copy was sent to her attorney. This is what she does to try to tell her one-sided story to her attorney. In the letter, she contradicted her original letter about counseling and stated that "My only concern is and always will be SD5's needs and comfort level. That is why she was in counseling this summer. I don't want there to be any lasting distress from her telling me that she walked into your room and saw Daddy and SM 'exercising' while arranging her body in explicit positions. While the counselor DID say that SD5 HAS seen something that has really upset her, she was not able to verbalize this in that setting. I continue to be concerned when you tell me that the bedroom door doesn't need to be locked. This is a very crucial issue I think we should agree upon." So we went from SD5 gyrating her hips to arranging her body in explicit positions in just 2 months. And if that were true, why didn't SD5 share this with the counselor as well? Why? Because it never happened!!! Seriously!!! And to top it off, when DH and BM were married, SD5 slept in their bed, so when they had marital relations, it took place on the living room floor, where not only was there not a door to lock, but there were uncovered glass panels that SD5 could've watched through without either of them knowing.

Has anyone dealt with anything like this? My fear is that BM is so focused on turning SD5 against us, that she will continue to tell her such things and convince her that they actually happened. And how much damage control can you actually do EOW?