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My fiancé is willing to give up his bio children for me. HELP!

notimpossible's picture

Submitted by notimpossible on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 12:09pm

BM was suppose to get married and she got cold feet and started constantly calling my house and my fiancé cell phone to talk about their bio children. My fiancé lives in my house for free because he lost his job and I have cared for his children and supported him. My fiancé has full custody of children 4, 5, 7. Fiance and BM have terrible fights for 2-years since he moved in with me. BM told me that my fiancé calls her , makes excuses to talk to her and still loves her, she also told me that the only reason why he is with me is because of money security. My fiancé denies it and tells me, “how can I possibly love someone who cheated during our marriage and now has 2 other children from this affair.” My stomach hurts and my heart is broken when I see that stupid look in his face as if he still has feeling for her. I told him to move out of my house and take his kids with him. My fiancé told me I will do anything for you please don’t leave me I will get rid of the kids and I will never speak with her or them. I feel guilty please give me advice.

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 12:25pm

Wow. A few weeks ago, your skids were 2,3 and 4. That’s a trick.

I really think you are just here to flame the board, but I will bite…

If my FDH actually said…”please don’t leave me I will get rid of the kids and I will never speak with her or them.” He would no longer be in my life because he obviously had some deep issues to be able to do that to his own small children.
+++++++++++++++
Edit my post!! I see the kids were that age a few years ago. Sorry, and I still stand behind the rest of my post. This man would not be in my life.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 12:28pm

Willow, I went back and read her other blog and I think she was saying that when fiance first moved in the kids were 2,3,4 and now 3 years later they are 4,5,7 and BM is back in the picture.

At any rate... to OP I think it is wise for you to NOT take this man up on his offer to write his kids and BM off. I promise you that nothing good will come of it. Down the road this will ALWAYS be held over your head. "I gave up my kids for you". "You made me choose you or the kids" blah blah blah. You may think that that will never happen, but I promise you some day it will. And do you really want to be the person that a man "gives up his children" for?? Not me!!

Asher10's picture

Submitted by Asher10 on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 12:19pm

Would you really even consider this offer from him??What kind of man is he to offer to never speak to his children again especially since he has been the one raising them?WOW.This says really bad things about his character.This tells me he IS using you and is only out to protect himself from being homeless but doesn't give a rats ass about his kids.Send him back to BM and move on with your life.A better man WILL come along.You don't have to settle for this idiot.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 2:31pm

Get out while you can. He's looking for a free ride and doesn't care who he hurts. He cares more about money than he cares about his children. Sick sick sick

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 2:35pm

I have to agree with the others. One of the things I love about DH is the love he has for his children. A man willing to give up his kids for free housing is a selfish arse. No reason for you to feel guilty if you didn't ask him to leave his children fatherless. The fact that he would suggest it makes the guilt his alone.

Really consider the lack of character he must have to walk away from children he helped make. Seriously...for a man "willing" to do that, it is no sacrifice. He's just a deadbeat. He's twisting words. He's not "willing to do anything for you". He's just afraid of losing free housing, food, & whatever else he gets in your home.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 3:41pm

ITS A TRAP!! IF he does he will forever hate you and you will have the title "scapegoat" emblazened on your forehead.

HELL most of us SMs have that title even WITH the skid prancing around EOWE.