Ludicrous Demands from BM
Hi, everyone! I've been away for a while, getting used to retirement. It's pretty great, but has cut my income rather dramatically. So yesterday's packet of demands from BM was an unwelcome surprise. DH has already paid an additional $700 this year for twice a week therapy for the SD15, as well as dental and doctor visits and medications. Now, BM wants half of the charges for massages that SD15 has been receiving since April! $985!!!! This is the first DH has heard about massages! Offered as justification, there was a letter in the packet from SD's therapist (the one who said it was fine if SD wanted to break off all contact with her father)that said her patients have benefited from "body work and meditation", and SD should have some. Gee, I'd feel much better with twice a week massages, too!
Then there was the batch of grocery store receipts. Evidently, BM has decided that SD is gluten-intolerant, and has to live on a gluten free vegan diet. So she wants DH to pay for half the gluten free food! Gluten free snack bars and brownie mix. There is no medical diagnosis or evidence of gluten intolerance. SD had some eczema on her arms that cleared up while she lived with us, and recurred when she went back to BM. Evidently, it's better now. Hallelujah and pass the gluten free brownies! Receipts total another couple of hundred dollars.
DH pays CS, $500/mo., and SD's health insurance. I guess if she wanted to eat filet mignon every night, BM would demand he pay half of that, too.
We sent back a check for the copays for things covered by health insurance. Have you guys run into this kind of demand, and would it hold up in court?
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Unless the is a prescription
Unless the is a prescription for the massages, I highly doubt it'd hold up. Even if it did, isn't there a time limit to submit receipts?
As far as the diet, CS is to pay for the care of the child. If she wants to feed her gluten free or skittles, funding comes from the same source.
Yes, we've had things like
Yes, we've had things like this come up. It did not hold up in court. The child support needs to be used for groceries. She doesn't get extra because SD is on a "special" diet. If the massages are medically necessary (sounds like they are not) then yes, you will most likely have to pay for half of them. I would, of course, demand to see the receipts and would most likely get the receipts from the massage therapist (we ran into issues with BM of her creating receipts and invoices. Even got a "friend" of hers at the community center where she signed the kids up for daycare years ago to forge invoices as well).
Three of the four
Three of the four "statements" from the massage people were hand-written. No phone numbers or address of the practice. There is no proof BM paid for any of the charges. No cancelled checks or credit card receipts. There is no medical reason for them, just a "suggestion" from her therapist.
omg, hahaha!! BM sends SO
omg, hahaha!! BM sends SO receipts for medical stuff including advil, benedryl, allergy otc meds. I laugh when he get's these bc the bm writes out beside it "only used by sd14".
Uummm. ok. lol. I have pointed out to him again and again... so are you going to have to pay for her midol and her tampons, too??
Supposedly she started last month, so I guess we'll see soon if he get's a bill for her monthly bill!!
I think we have the same BM.
I think we have the same BM. SD14 recently started her period as well and DH got an email from BM demanding that he start providing necessary supplies for her. Uh, duh...She then said that he should just give her an extra $100/month for all the extra necessities that were starting to pop up as the kids got older. This woman hasn't paid a sports or activity fee in years.
Maybe she has her on
Maybe she has her on expensive zit cream and is buying her MAC cosmetics?? LOL
Yes, she buys her expensive
Yes, she buys her expensive makeup. She has better makeup than I do, and I have a decent paying full time job. Personally, I think her make up costs should be paid out of her allowance and baby sitting money, as does DH. SD14 also demands salon shampoo and conditioner and hair products, but DH doesn't buy it for her. I have any hair products that I buy any place other than the drugstore from her.
Isn't most of the expenses
Isn't most of the expenses covered under the child support ???
My BM would buy clothes n pass that bill onto fiancé ~ n he would go through receipt line by line highlighting shit saying Daughter does not recognize the pant suit ~ hmmmm sounds like your work clothes you dumbass.
Your DH isn't actually going
Your DH isn't actually going to pay for all those expenses, if he? For there is something in CO about paying x % of left over charges after insurance, yeah he pays that x %. But surely there was clarification as to what other types of 'medical/health' expenses that could be considered for sharing?
I mean, seriously, why stop with pads and midol? Why not shower gel, shampoo and toothpaste too? Your BM is out of her mind if she thinks these bills will hold up. And the massages?
, yeah right. If the therapist is covered under healthcare insurance with mental health , this therapist would have gotten a referral and approval from the insurance carrier before sending the kid (massages under mental health section would be extremely hard to obtain clearance for . As the therapist merely suggested it could be helpful but BM decided to run with it (and without getting appropriate documentation of proof of service :? ) it's non-collectible from DH as presented.
Food is a basic need. BM provides food at her house, DH at his house. Again unless there would be a dr verified need for a special medical diet BM is grasping with greedy claws. If and when SD would perhaps be dr ordered for medical necessities (such as mandatory due to galactosemia) it might fall under Dh's share of medical and have to have CO modified to include, but that's not what has occurred here. BM has just decided to self diagnose.
But as to pads/midol, Dh will supply a package of needs for usage in his home and BM will provide for her home. Just like toilet paper (oh, don't give the woman the idea).
Pay what you know is a DH share requirement (if properly documented as service was given like the dental) and let her take Dh to court if she wants the rest. I think BM's lawyer will knock sense into her before it ever gets to a courtroom.
In June, DH downloaded the
In June, DH downloaded the medical insurance payments that had been made for the therapist, doctors, dental, and meds, and sent BM a check for half the copays. He sent a note that he would do it again in Dec. so he could keep current. The packet that BM sent yesterday duplicated a lot of those charges prior to July, as well as the rest of the ridiculous demands. So DH did the same thing as before, downloaded actual medical payments from the insurance company, and sent a check for half the copays. He is not going to pay any of the other stuff until a judge makes him. BM has dragged him into court for a lot of ridiculous stuff in the past, so we fully expect her to do it again. I doubt he will be on the hook for gluten free brownie mix and pretzels, but BM will do her best to make him pay. I'm surprised we haven't been billed for tampons, too!
I have celiacs. It's
I have celiacs. It's actually thought that a lot of people have it and are undiagnosed. Point being it's not rare.
And special gf food costs way more than gluten containing foods.
That said, the food budget at bm's is still on her and not anything she can claim half from her ex. Ridiculous, and as for the massages - is she having a laugh?
Yeah, psycho BMs can try to
Yeah, psycho BMs can try to claim all SORTS of things but it doesn't mean that DH has to pay for them.
Our BM was also notorious for double-billing my DH. She also wouldn't think twice of slipping in one or two of her OWN charges. She is also a hypochondriac who would take the skids in for anything and everything PLUS get 2nd and 3rd opinions (only to sometimes not even follow up if the opinions didn't match HER opinion).
Thanks, guys. As always,
Thanks, guys. As always, your sensible comments make me feel better.