I'm happy I found this place,and I'm new here. I guess I'll tell some of my history. I've been married for a few years now. We don't have children together(yet). My DH has two sons from a previous relationship.

The BM is a bit unbalanced. It has been a really long and ugly road with her. In the beginning she did those typical and insane BM things. There are those of you out there who know *first hand* what I'm talking about. You name it...she did it. She didn't want him to be with me. She tried her hardest to put enough strain on our relationship that it would break. She would end us if it was the last thing she did. She sat and planned her schemes and what would be said and done. She would win! Even if she did have someone of her own. That didn't matter and wasn't her focus. He was supposed to be alone. He wasn't supposed to move on. It had "wounded her pride. She still loved him." I'm sure that supposed love was rekindled when she found out his eyes were on me. Her schemes didn't turn out with the result she so desperately wanted. I've read quite a few stories here of other people who have dealt with a lunatic BM hell bent upon getting their way. It sure burns them when they don't get it.

DH has had a bad experience with her. At one point in time he believed all the ugly things she said to keep him down and powerless. He believed when she told him what a horrible father he was. It was a major insecurity of his that she preyed upon. He believed that she would take his kids from him. She had him right where she wanted him when he was down. He's no longer down and she doesn't dare pull the shit she did at one point. It is funny how people react when faced with a roaring person who won't be ran over anymore. She has nothing to say. She tip-toes her way with him as she's not sure how he'll react. Her power is gone. She treads carefully and I find it hilarious.

Sometimes,it takes a while for our men to realize that they aren't the bastards they've been told that they are. The guilt eats them alive and is their focus for a long time until they come to terms with it. They LET these women put them down. They are ran over,used,and treated like garbage whose sole purpose in life is to kiss asses/fork over money,gifts and never take up for themselves.

Not to say that he's a perfect angel. DH is far from that. I'm sure he gave quite a bit back in response to what he got. He probably took pleasure in pissing her off. It was just an obvious thing. That sometimes vindictive women would rather point the finger of blame rather than get any attention put onto their own deeds. Her deed was leaving her kids behind more than once to go run off to do her own thing and live her life/discover who she was/be with some man in another state. DH has never done that. These hags would rather spew blame than to be examined themselves. She hates the fact that she has more strikes than he does.

The funny thing is - DH and I both know that neither of us have ever done anything that we had to feel bad about. Both of us have made decisions with the best interests of children involved. Even if that meant that it would be harder on ourselves to go down that road. If anyone wants to sit and point the blame finger later in life...we won't own that one.

If people don't wish to give respect where it is due...it is their loss of having a relationship with DH. He would rather not if he's going to be treated like that. He chooses what he does. I'm sure it is believed that I'm brainwashing DH and making him into this new person. That he's my puppet and all this new roaring in the face of disrespect is coming from my influence. It isn't me. He's tired of being treated like crap and treated like a walking talking pocketbook. He's something more than just the guy who buys nice things and then can eff off. People don't react too well to their disrespect being called out and not tolerated. Especially,after they've done it steadily for years and gotten away with it. He's the @!$hole then. All because he dared stand up for himself. But,don'tcha know...it's me doing it afterall. He's my puppet. Hahhahaha.