Is he paying child support? Does his ex work? See, in our case, Dh's ex doesn't work, so anything she buys SD actually DID COME FROM US. I take that into account when I used to buy gifts for my stepkids. I have a job, so therefore my kids get more. If she had a job, then HER kids could get more.

Depending on ages...I would say that if you can't come close to spending the same on the skids, at least give presents at different times so it won't be so awkward. kwim?

I don't have kids, but I have a dog that I love like my child. He will be getting more than one of the skids simply because he greets me when I enter the house....lol

I don't think I would feel bad about spending more on my children if I had them. Especially if I saved up for it....not everything can be equal.

I don't necessarily spend the same amount even on my bios. They are different ages, have different needs and wishes and I feel that it all works out fine and they are both happy. I do make sure the kids have the same number of gifts to open, usually three. One primary item and a couple of other small things. They also get their stockings. I know that their dad's parents will lavish them with more crap than I ever could anyway, so I just make mine personal and we're happy. I don't think there's anything wrong with spending less on the skids especially in your situation. Will they be with you and your bios for Christmas? How old are they? I think that makes a little difference, too. If they are with you while the bios are opening presents, I would try for even number of gifts and not worry about the cost being equal. If they're old enough to compare that, they're being snotty anyway. If they're grown, what are they getting you?

Yes it is okay to spend less on the skids - they have their BM's and their families as well to give them gifts - this question is asked so many times - they are your children spend the money - it is not your fault that Dh did not save up money - let him take responsibility for his kids. Why do we are the SM's always feel like it needs to be equal it doesn't no one is watching out for your kids so SPEND THE MONEY!!

There is nothing wrong with it at all. I spend way more on my kids then the skids. Main reason is that my kids don't have a father they go see. Plus my bm doesn't work and lives on CS so yes everything she get the skids WE pay for! Plus santa only comes to one house each year that is every other year here and every other year at their moms. This is how we do it all the kids open their gifts either christmas eve or christmas day depending on when we ahve the skids. However I don't give my kids their big gifts till the skids go home again depends on if we have the skids on christmas eve or on the day.

Definately ok, especially if you are not the primary residence, or you have split custody, and your bios are only getting a holiday celebration in one place.

My steps are all going to their mothers' homes on Christmas. We are having Solstice here on the 21st, complete with gifts. Then on Christmas Eve, my bios (except the baby, who is too young to be seperated from me overnight) are going to my parents' house to spend Christmas with them and my grandmother. So this year all the kids are getting 2 holidays. My parents give a small token gift to my skids, and they do a big celebration for my bios, equal to what they will be getting at their BMs' houses. Of course, what the skids get at BMs' houses stays there, and what my kids get at my parents' house stays there. They spend quite a bit of time there with my family, especially in the summer, when I work outside the home sometimes for weekends at a time.

I don't personally spend more or less on my kids or skids, but I do spend more or less by age. My SS12 and DS11 got about $300 each in gifts, whereas my SD8 and DD7 got about $175 each spent on them, including stockings, and SD4 and DD8months only got about $60 each spent on them (by me...the brothers each had $$$ of their own this year and generously bought for their little sisters). Even with this staggered spending, the boys ended up with only about 5 gifts each, whereas the girls ended up with dozens of gifts each. The boys wish lists were signifigantly more expensive.

I guess I'll be the only dissenting opinion. We spend the same amount of money on all five of our children.