As I stated before, the evidence he produced doesn't look legit, but I need the absolute truth at this point. So, what I'm thinking about talking/askin is:
1- Is she emotionally/sexually involved with SO;
2- If not, is she in love with him/ was he the cause, directly or indirectly of the breakup;
3- Did she ever feel SO was emotionally harrasing her/ persuing her inappropriately (as her husband claims).
And then I want to tell her that, though she's not responsible for it, I should have been told when her husband started picking on her and SO; I also want to tell her that, once she knew her phone was being monitored, both her and SO should have known better than exchanging personal messages. I'm also telling her that I believe in friendship between a W and a M, but that some of their conversations weren't appropriate for married individuls, even though they were not "sexual". I feel hurt knowing that while he was by my side he was sometimes telling her what he has just cooked for dinner and that it was amazing.
Any other suggestions? Meeting will be in 2 hours.
A word document, that can be edited at will, with a really strange layout. Some of the content I know to be true (stuff SO mentioned that really happened and so on) but the "hot stuff", that would prove the involvement, was written with vocabulary that SO simply doesn't use and had crude spelling mistakes (SO is extremely literate).
I've thought that hard; I'm leaving in 2 days and can't reschedule.
If he is cheating, I'll know, at last the real him. It will not affect my decision, it will hurt, but I will leave knowing the truth and never looking back.
a woman knows how to touch the other's buttons; I may not know if she is lying, but if they are involved, trust me that when I leave, she'll feel cheated and will look at him in a very different light.
I deleted it today, as I thought that everyone had already seen my update.
I don't believe they are sexually involved and if I was to stay, I would not meet with her. But as I'm leaving, I want no doubt in my mind. I know SO's version and believe it, but I want hers as well. I want it to be a girl's talk and want her to know how I feel, as well as wanting to know how she feels. I don't think she'll be able to look me in the eyes and lie.
I'm not "that kind of person", but I need this before leaving.
I understand; as I stated in my blog/comment, I want to know how she feels about him, despite not believing they are involved. And I want to know if she feels he actually persued her.
I see no reason not to meet with her. If nothing else, it will confirm that you are leaving for good reason. But, me, I am a bitch and would call the owner of the company and tell them.
The husband claims she is "dazzled" by SO. They have worked together for 10 years, maybe (she's one of the secretaries) and SO is actually good-looking, earns quite a buck and is very successful. His company is internationally very well known in the area and he is one of the Eurovision lecturers in a certain matter, which, for privacy reasons, I will not state here (that's why I delete all my blogs as well).
I honestly believe they are not sexually involved and that part of the conversations they are supposed to have had and that the guy showed me in a crappy word document were planted.
But I think he was absolutely out of line and that they are emotionally involved, one way or the other. I also believe she's in love with him.
No saint, I speak from personal experience. I know you will do what you will do but I will put it out there.
Absolutely no good can come from you meeting with this woman, getting her side of the story, and hearing things you are afraid of being true are in fact true.
This meeting you plan to have with her will haunt you, over and over. Please reconsider, but if you don't, please be careful. You never know which women are willing to boil a bunmy.
Comments
Hi guys I'm meeting later
Hi guys
I'm meeting later today, in a caffé, So's secretary, the one that her husband told me 2 days ago was divorcing him because she's involved with SO since 2013.
As I stated before, the evidence he produced doesn't look legit, but I need the absolute truth at this point. So, what I'm thinking about talking/askin is:
1- Is she emotionally/sexually involved with SO;
2- If not, is she in love with him/ was he the cause, directly or indirectly of the breakup;
3- Did she ever feel SO was emotionally harrasing her/ persuing her inappropriately (as her husband claims).
And then I want to tell her that, though she's not responsible for it, I should have been told when her husband started picking on her and SO; I also want to tell her that, once she knew her phone was being monitored, both her and SO should have known better than exchanging personal messages. I'm also telling her that I believe in friendship between a W and a M, but that some of their conversations weren't appropriate for married individuls, even though they were not "sexual". I feel hurt knowing that while he was by my side he was sometimes telling her what he has just cooked for dinner and that it was amazing.
Any other suggestions? Meeting will be in 2 hours.
I missed the end of the post
I missed the end of the post before. What was his "evidence"?
A word document, that can be
A word document, that can be edited at will, with a really strange layout. Some of the content I know to be true (stuff SO mentioned that really happened and so on) but the "hot stuff", that would prove the involvement, was written with vocabulary that SO simply doesn't use and had crude spelling mistakes (SO is extremely literate).
I've thought that hard; I'm
I've thought that hard; I'm leaving in 2 days and can't reschedule.
If he is cheating, I'll know, at last the real him. It will not affect my decision, it will hurt, but I will leave knowing the truth and never looking back.
a woman knows how to touch the other's buttons; I may not know if she is lying, but if they are involved, trust me that when I leave, she'll feel cheated and will look at him in a very different light.
Trust me that if she confirms
Trust me that if she confirms it, she'll be feeling like the other woman NOW, when I leave the table.
I deleted it today, as I
I deleted it today, as I thought that everyone had already seen my update.
I don't believe they are sexually involved and if I was to stay, I would not meet with her. But as I'm leaving, I want no doubt in my mind. I know SO's version and believe it, but I want hers as well. I want it to be a girl's talk and want her to know how I feel, as well as wanting to know how she feels. I don't think she'll be able to look me in the eyes and lie.
I'm not "that kind of person", but I need this before leaving.
I understand; as I stated in
I understand; as I stated in my blog/comment, I want to know how she feels about him, despite not believing they are involved. And I want to know if she feels he actually persued her.
Your approach is perfectly
Your approach is perfectly reasonable. Let us know how it turns out.
I will probably only update
I will probably only update tomorrow, as I'll just be home for dinner and SO will be here.
Leaving in 2 days; already
Leaving in 2 days; already rented and furnished the new house.
Yes, I'll be asking her that.
I see no reason not to meet
I see no reason not to meet with her. If nothing else, it will confirm that you are leaving for good reason. But, me, I am a bitch and would call the owner of the company and tell them.
Well, the owner already
Well, the owner already knows: it's SO.
The husband claims she is
The husband claims she is "dazzled" by SO. They have worked together for 10 years, maybe (she's one of the secretaries) and SO is actually good-looking, earns quite a buck and is very successful. His company is internationally very well known in the area and he is one of the Eurovision lecturers in a certain matter, which, for privacy reasons, I will not state here (that's why I delete all my blogs as well).
Then I would call his biggest
Then I would call his biggest client and tell them what kind of douche he is. I would make his life hell.
Yes, I really need to get
Yes, I really need to get away!!
I honestly believe they are
I honestly believe they are not sexually involved and that part of the conversations they are supposed to have had and that the guy showed me in a crappy word document were planted.
But I think he was absolutely out of line and that they are emotionally involved, one way or the other. I also believe she's in love with him.
No saint, I speak from
No saint, I speak from personal experience. I know you will do what you will do but I will put it out there.
Absolutely no good can come from you meeting with this woman, getting her side of the story, and hearing things you are afraid of being true are in fact true.
This meeting you plan to have with her will haunt you, over and over. Please reconsider, but if you don't, please be careful. You never know which women are willing to boil a bunmy.
She's not afraid of it
She's not afraid of it haunting her. She expects it will set her free. But, you're right. No one knows exactly what will come of it.