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I dread getting days off work now.

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Tue, 06/02/2015 - 7:48am

Our base reached its goals for the year and as a reward active duty have the day off and civilians can take the day off too but have to use leave.

Of course part of me wants to take Friday off and enjoy the day....BUT every time I get a day off, SO thinks I need to get his kids.

I am NOT going to babysit Friday I rather stay at work.

I just know that it's going to cause tension between SO and I because he will be hurt and mad that he didn't get to have his kids an extra day.

Grrr...I hate this life sometimes. It would be wonderful if I could take a day off work and SO could reframe from trying to guilt me into taking his kids.

Comments

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Tue, 06/02/2015 - 8:34am

You deserve a day for just you. Can you tell him Friday morning or go in for an hour or less then have the rest of the day to do what you want?

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Tue, 06/02/2015 - 8:38am

We carpool to work because we both work at the base (he's a contractor and doesn't get the same considerations for time off)

I am just going to tell him I'm taking the day off and if he says he wants me to get his kids, I'm just going to say "No thank you" He's trying to quit smoking and today is only his second day. This is not going to go over well. Oh well. This is long over due.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Tue, 06/02/2015 - 8:52am

How about NO? The skids are supposed to be there to visit their FATHER. If he is not there, the skids should not be there. If he wants to see them Friday, he can take off Friday and spend the day with them. And YOU, Ninji, should spend the day being nice to yourself! Mani/pedi, massage, glass of wine with lunch, catch a matinee... It's YOUR day off, woman!

SM12's picture

Submitted by SM12 on Tue, 06/02/2015 - 9:33am

I used to feel the same way. I finally got to the point if it was already a planned kid day...I would tell DH to find other arrangements. I had things I wanted to do without kids. If it was a normal work day when they weren't around...sometimes I just wouldn't tell him until he was already on his way to work. Or I would make sure he didn't want the kids extra and then I would tell him ahead of time. I have taken many days off and not told DH. Its my time to do what I want with. Not be the nanny.

Just be firm and tell him you have the day off for a "YOU" day and not a skid day. The extra time YOU have the kids is not benefiting him if he is at work. He isn't with them, you are. I had to point that out to DH. I also told him to stop satisfying his guilt of not having his Kids all the time off on me. Just because they are at his home does not mean he is with them. I am NOT his replacement! He didn't like that too much but he understood my point. It take a long time of re-training to get these DH's to understand we are not NANNY!