raising my teenage stepchild
I need help on raising my teenage stepchild. Long story short, My huspabnd and I have been maried for 5 years, and we both are raising his 10 year old daughter and 15 year old daughter. I am 27 and my husband 37. Ereything was perfect untill last year. You see, we don't know anything about their mother, she hasn't called or seen them since never, so technically I am there mother. They live 24/7 with us, I am the one who does EVERYTHING in the house like a mother should do, I mean EVERYTHING.So I dont like calling them stephildren, I call them my children, and they call me there mother. But the problem is hhow do I deal with a teenager? know she thinks "your not my mother, don't boss me around" so and so. I try to be a friend, but I have to be a mother to. And I am really tired of the situation, she treats me with no respect. And I am the one who is doing the mother role, the have no "other mother" thank God I have my husbands back, but it is getting so difficult having a relashonship with her.
Please need advise.
Thanks!
Comments
It's difficult to deal with
It's difficult to deal with any teenage girl, bio or step.
Ask your husband for help with discipline - they will take it better from him (and he will have some sympathy for you if they give him attitude like they do you). Hang in there.
I cant' even begin to say how
I cant' even begin to say how thankful I am for you to take your time to tell me all that, it gave me a relief hearing your experience. Stepmothers stereotype is mean and wicked bitches! And I am not that person, but she sometimes sees me like that. My real fear is will she hate me? Will she thank me one day? Am I doing something wrong? "maybe I shouldn't be so hard on her" but I just can't help it, if I see she is doing something wrong is my responsibility to tell her, she likes or not.
At the end of the day, I will be there for her anyways, but I don't know if she knows it.
There is also a site called
There is also a site called bonusfamilys. It has a lot of great information on this stuff!
You are not her mother, but
You are not her mother, but ARE the woman of the house. She must abide by your rules. Try having her father do the discipline, she might take it better. Whatever you do, don't back down, or the 10 year old will start mimicking her behavior.
You can't really be her
You can't really be her friend and her mother - not at 15. Demand respect and make DH enforce it as well. If there is a united front she will get on board.
thank you so much! I thought
thank you so much! I thought I was alone on this. This will defenetly make me stronger.
LOVED
LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I said, " you are only here because you are married to my dad so what does it matter to you"
Mom's reply: "You're right. I came here because I loved your father. I met you because I loved your father. I became your step-mother because I loved your father. I love you because I choose to and that is because of you and me, and not your father."