Life has been so crazy and hectic that I haven't even had time to log onto this site! SS (10.5) has become a total nightmare. He lies constantly and while I feel guilty, I've grown to absolutely HATE this child! He has accused me of hitting him -- I've never laid a finger on my DH's 3 children except to give them hugs and pat them on the back. This child is just an evil little mongrel! He accuses me of making fun of him. All of this started when at 10.5 he decided he wasn't going to wipe himself or wear underwear anymore. Ughhh! How gross can you get! I was fixing the bathroom sink because it had a leak and he comes in, throws his shorts at me and snidely says, "I have racing stripes, you need to clean these up!" I was in such shock I didn't think rationally. I washed them. There were literally CHUCKS of fecal matter in them. I was repulsed. After I finished fixing the sink, I got my DH and we confronted him about this and told him that he didn't have a choice, he was going to clean himself properly or he was going to scrub his own shorts out from now on. He threw and absolute temper tantrum. I told him to knock it off or he was going get a chore to do. He IMMEDIATELY stopped screaming and crying. This started the war between his mother and my DH and me!

This past weekend, BM said she was going to drop the kids off at 5 p.m. on Friday evening. She knew DH was not going to be there but she didn't care since she had a date with her on again off again girlfriend. SS started crying didn't want to stay and just threw an absolute fit. I offered to let him call his father because I didn't really feel comfortable being alone with this kid since he previously accused me of hitting him and his brother and sister. (BM accused me of this back in the fall. -- This is when I retaliated with "I've never hit the children, but I've witnessed both you and your nasty girlfriend hitting him with wooden spoons until I thought they were going to break.") I think the fact that she left them there proves that she doesn't believe I have ever or would ever hurt the children. If I were a mother, I certainly wouldn't let someone I thought was abusive be alone with my children!

Friday, on the phone, SS told his father that he didn't want to be alone with me because I make fun of him. DH told me that he told SS that was ridiculous, that I've never made fun of him. As soon as they hung up, SS was fine, he was chattering away, showed me some web blog he built for kids to discuss video games. Then he told me that his mother and the girlfriend were going on a date to a Japanese restaurant. When I told DH, he said, that's why he's so mad...Japanese food is his favorite and he's being left out. (Sunday, DH confronted BM about this and she admitted that after he over heard his aunt talking about this he was a nightmare because he was mad that he wasn't going to get to go.)

Saturday, I got up, fixed breakfast, SS complimented me on how good the French Toast tasted. I told him that I appreciated the compliment and that it was a very nice thing to do and that I hoped he would do the same thing if he was ever visiting a friend's house and had a meal there. I tried to explain to him how much people enjoy getting compliments. Other than that, I pretty much ignored SS, I was tired of everything I said being turned around and having him lie about me. I spent the day grocery shopping and cooking. I was really upset that SS had lied about me yet again, so I basically withdrew from everyone. DH kept them occupied and SS played Wii and World of War Craft all day.

Sunday, I fixed breakfast. Found out SS wet the bed. He went through his adult sized Depend's diaper, and soaked the sheets, blankets, and mattresses. He laughed about all of it. I gave him a bottle of cleaning stuff and a wash cloth and made him clean the mattress. Because he didn't wash his sheets and just threw them out in the garage, DH told him that he was no longer aloud to play WOW if he wet the bed. I had to go to the store for cough syrup for SD, when I got back DH and I took SS in the office and we asked him why he was lying about me. He immedietely started crying again and being all melo-dramatic. We told him he wasn't in trouble, that this was his one chance to give us an honest answer without being punished, but from here on out that if he lied there would be no more Wii and no more WOW. We told him that in this house we take lying very seriously and the punishment for lying would be severe. He kept saying I don't know, I told him that was not an acceptable answer and that he did know why he was lying and I deserved to know the answer. He eventually told us that his mother got mad when he told her that he had a good time here, so he started telling her these things because then she seemed happier. This kid has lied so much over the last year that I really don't know what to believe, but I do remember during the summer, BM got really mad because DH wouldn't let SS come here and stay for a month. She told DH, "I want to prove to him that your house isn't that fun."

For the rest of the day I didn't do much, set up the train set for SS (5), but mostly held SD because she wasn't feeling great. I fixed lunch for them. Then the little ones and I watched the movie Bye Bye Birdie -- SS-5 was totally enthralled! While we were watching it, SS started sqwaling and bawling again because his dad had played WOW and would let him have a turn. He got mad when I said, "If your dad tells you no, I'm not going to undermine his decision."

When we took them back DH addressed the issue with BM. She denied everything of course -- who knows the truth on all of this...she lies as much as he does!

Then, yesterday, DH found out from HR that not only did he have to submit his benefit package that day, but he also had to have a copy of our marriage license and the kids' birth certificates. I faxed the marriage certificate into HR right away. Then he sent me an IM telling me that BM refused to go and fax copies of the birth certificates in because it wasn't her responsibility -- it was his. She would not cooperate at all, so I had to drive over an hour and a half and get the birth certificates. When she opened the door she started in with the attitude with me. She wanted to know when I was going to bring them back to her. I told her, "I will get them back to you at my earliest convenience." She stepped out of the door and was shaking them at me and kept asking the same question, I kept calmly answering the same statement. Then was shaking her fist at me and said, "I need to know that you are going to take care of this!" I told her, "I just drove an hour and a half to get these documents because you are too lazy to do one thing to ensure that your children have adequate health insurance, of course I'm going to fax them in." At this point she extended her hand some what and I took them from her and turned to walk away. She started screaming again, "when are you going to bring them back?" Again I told her, "at my earliest convenience." When I was up on the side walk she started SCREAMING "you get your ass back here!" She yelled this at least two or three times. I finally turned around and said, again with a calm tone of voice, "I don't take orders from you and I've told you before, when you can't be respectful to me, I'm not going to talk to you." I got in my car she looked stunned for a few seconds and then as I started to drive off she ran out to the road and shook her finger at me and screamed, "I want to talk to you!" I just shook my head no and mouthed, "I'm not talking to you" as I drove off.

At this point I called 911 and asked to be connected to the local Police Department. I can't remember the woman's name that I spoke to their, but I told her what had happened and I told her that because BM had threatened to hit me in the past (that was at the fall festival) I was not comfortable going back there with the birth certificates after the erratic way she behaved today. I explained to her that her skin had a funny color and her eyes were blood shot, so it appeared that she was either high or had been drinking. (I didn't smell any alcohol on her, but my head was really clogged from my cold.) I told the police that I had the birth certificates, that she refused to fax them and that my husband couldn't get off of work to go and get them. When I told the police officer where she lived, the officer said that it was a civil matter and that as long as "the father knew I had the birth certificates" there wasn't anything BM could do. I can't remember exactly how she worded it, but she basically said that she thought it was smart that I didn't go back since BM was acting like that.

After that, I called DH told him what happened and that I called the police. He sent BM a text saying she was out of line and that her behavior scared me. He then sent her a text saying that HR had received the documentation and the kids were going to be covered.

She never responded back and we haven't heard from her since.

I'm sure that by not taking them back she's angrier than ever and will try and pull something else, but there was no way I was going back there by myself when she acted strung out! She also told DH that she had all 3 kids there, but the apartment was absolutely silent -- those kids are NEVER silent! So I think she was just being obstinate about faxing it and wanted to try and make things difficult for us.

She is a TOTAL nightmare!