Ugh manipulators are the worst!!!
Most of us are here because we deal with master manipulators who use our SO/DH or skids. It's just exhausting to deal with the after effects of someone who has been used and abused by a manipulator for years!!!
SO never had anything for himself he always put BM and the skids first. Worked his ass off for years BM never worked and he supported them she always wanted more and more. He never made enough money blah blah.
We'll now we both work and can afford a much nicer lifestyle than he had with BM. Drives her and the skids crazy it's like they feel entitled to it. We'll SO has finally gotten his jeep for off roading and jeep trails. He has gone on lots of weekend trips with his buddies. He is like a kid he is so happy. I love seeing him like that. At 45 years old he has something all his own he puts himself first and he is enjoying some fruits of his hard work.
Well SD15 doesn't like it. He came home kinda moody I asked what was wrong. He showed me a long winded text from her. Basically guilting him about leaving on Sunday which was his week with her. Plus according to her he always spends money on his jeep but when she "needs" something she can't get it. It makes her feel bad and not important.
I swear I wanted to go and throat punch the little bitch!!! She is just like her mother I told him what he does with his time and his money is none of her business. She has everything she needs and if there is something she wants then she can get a job and buy it herself!!!
It pisses me off that she is trying to pick up where her worthless mother left off thinking she can control his time and money with emotional manipulation. He texted back sorry you feel that way but my finances and what I choose to do with my time are none of your business and have nothing to do with how I feel about you. I'll talk more about this when you get home.
Nothing in response. Part of me wonders if it's BM texting him because SD lost her phone due to poor grades. So when she calls him or texts him she uses BM's phone. I'm sick of these crazy people!! I just want to say leave us alone your BS doesn't work on him anymore. Find someone else to mindscrew the gravy train is over the wallet is closed. GO AWAY!!!!
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He texted back sorry you feel
He texted back sorry you feel that way but my finances and what I choose to do with my time are none of your business and have nothing to do with how I feel about you. I'll talk more about this when you get home.
I have to say I am impressed with his reply, though
My SD12 is already so manipulative I can totally relate. I have been trying to get DH to see it too. He finally started getting the picture a few days ago when we caught her in one of her big manipulative games. He actually said to me, "But she'll grow out of it, right?"
I was like, "No, Baby, she will NOT grow out of it. She is growing INTO it. This is what she's seen her whole life from her mother and this is what she is going to be. Sorry..."
What I did NOT say but wanted to was, "This is what you can expect when you procreate with a Bar Whore."
I feel bad for poor DH. He has said many times I am the best women he's ever met (he's had some bad apples, believe me.) I understand he wants me to be a good influence on SD12... to "save" her somehow... but what he doesn't understand is that I don't have that ability. It's just not how things work:(
So true she is just like her
So true she is just like her BM only better at the game.
Katie he has come a looooong way. Even a year ago a text like that would have sent him running to her begging for forgiveness. I'm proud of him he finally sees her for what she is becoming. He is trying to stop it but I think it's way to late.
There is NOTHING wrong or
There is NOTHING wrong or morally corrupt about being a SAHM. It's a personal choice and NO WOMAN should be bagging another for it.
You choose to work some choose to stay home with their kids, no-one is better or worse, they are all choices and either way has pros and cons, woman are each others worst enemies over this argument and it really pisses me the hell off.
(sorry - off soapbox now)
ugh with the BM and SD
ugh with the BM and SD manipulative BS.
THAT for me is probably the single worst aspect of this whole mess and I think everything else stems from it. The guilt trips that OH cannot yet see past. He is not where your OH is yet OP and I am hanging on for the day he gets it.
I think he is having glimmers but still the "guilt" gets to him.
It took so long for him to
It took so long for him to get here. His self confidence had to build before he was able to see it. He has to value himself and not allow that treatment. Thank goodness he made progress or I would have left him. I couldn't take it!!!!
Kudo's to your DH for that
Kudo's to your DH for that awesome text he sent her!! I feel for you bc it used to happen to my SO all the time. Thankfully, now that SD no longer comes over, it's one less drama in our lives.
However, I have noticed something now when SS comes over. If SO has to go to the ATM to withdraw money, SS is standing glued right to his side, with his eyes glued onto the screen. He watches how much SO takes out and see's the balance. I have no doubt whatsoever that he lets SD know the amount. Now, if any of my bio's did that to me I'd tell them to rack the hell off - what my balance is, is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
Also noticed lately that when SS comes over - he's dressed terribly. It's winter here, and he came over in flip flops and a sloppy joe. When SO asked him where his jacket was the resply was "I don't have one". I called bulshit and asked him where his black winter jacket was (he used to wear it over to our place) and he said "oh..I lost it". Utter crap of course. I have a feeling either SD or heifer is trying to get him to guilt SO into buying him winter stuff.
Sure enough, SO wants to take SS shopping on Sat..I made sure to remind SO that whatever he buys SS, will stay here from now on 'cos clothes just seem to vanish when he goes back.