You are here

If I file for CS will visitation be automatic or is that seperate?

newmom01's picture

Submitted by newmom01 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:39am

My DH got upset because I won't allow his EX wife to controll him and recently i told him that NO his parents could not move in with us, SO HE LEFT ME !!! and our two sons .... When I got home from work there was a letter on the counter....Then he sends me a text last night saying I made this happen???? WHAT! are you serious ??? "ok" I said to my self you want to try and put my back up against a wall a force me to agree to things I know are wrong, and allow your family to move into my home, (because I was responsible in my 20's and prepared for a family by purchasing a home and creating a savings, while your parents obviously did not, and neither did you cause all yall are trying to move in with me!)

Im like donald trup on apprentice "you're fired" Get your a** up out of here!

Then he sends text saying "I love you why can't you comprimise" So thats how I know this is a game!! But he is gonna lose cause now your parents dont have a place to stay, you dont have a place to stay and your checks are already short because of cs for your other two kids and the mandatory health insurance you pay for (he is in the truck driving business, and his hours have been short because sometimes there is no work/loads....so from week to week he never knows what his check will look like....I have been the one holding things down at home....he helps but it aint really nothing I will miss) ...so once I file for cs you wont even get a check the will just hand you a stub!!!! PLUS you have so many broken leases onyou credit report he could not get an apartment if he tried

Comments

Yme's picture

Submitted by Yme on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 8:59am

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
Im so sorry! Read your post about him not talking yesterday.... I wish you the best with all of this...I know it must hurt you deep down...DH needs to learn that emotional blackmail will always backfire! Shame on him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have the right to say NO to his parents living in your home! He should understand that...His parents arent sick or in real need...they just want to mooch off of you!! NOTHING good comes of having in law's moving in with you no matter which side they are on!!
File for CS and such asap....depends on what state you are in what the judge will do when CS is awarded...often times visitation will be discussed at the same time it's on the same form often times...IF you need protection from the court you need to apply for that right away...it will make a difference when the court looks at visitation...(Hope that is not the case...just a friendly thought...been there done that)
Well now he can get a place with his Mommy and Daddy and live like the little boy he is acting like!!!!!!!!!!!
So sorry this is what has happened to you when you have stood up for yourself Sad

smiles gone's picture

Submitted by smiles gone on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:03am

Wow! What a dumb ass....
My exhusband chose his family over his son and I. I left gave him the house, everything inside but my clothes, our son and my family stuff. He has had financial problems since. He asks to borrow money, or get some of the money back he pays for cold support. Its endless. I say, make him walk the line, if he is willing to do this to you and your children.... To hell with him. If he really wanted to help his parents, he would not want them living with you, he would find an apartment or something close by dado he can help but they won't interfere in daily life. Unless, they are sick and dying. God hope not. If you want the marriage, make sure you protect your major interests, your children. If he doesn't see this game is not worth loosing the kids he has now, hes not worth the sperm he contributes. You got your angels (kids), you don't need him.... The boys need a dad but not if he didn't care any more about them then that. If they were old enough he would have ruined his relationship with them for life, its called abandonment and its a b#&ch....(sorry)!
Be strong! Pray and listen to your head, not your heart, don't shut your heart off though.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:34am

I just want to say I'm proud you are standing your ground!

You will be just fine. He obviously needs to feel some consequences for his actions. He cannot manipulate you.

Ex4life's picture

Submitted by Ex4life on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:37am

CS like everything else varies from state to state. Here in Illinois the state can only take a certain percentage total from a NCP checks. I want to say 60% but I could be wrong. His children from his first wife will come first then you will be eligible for what is left. So if his first wife gets 42% of his income the most you can get is 18%. Sounds like it will be a challenge getting CS from him anyway with his irratic checks.

Good luck, hang in there. You have been the responsible one in the relationship and your children will need for that to continue.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:02am

I agree with everyone else-file for CS ASAP. Before you do that though, go to your state's attorney general website. They should have a section devoted to CS and visitation. Giving their office a call and asking them some questions might not hurt either.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:42am

Varies from state to state. I only know GA (FDH's divorce was handled there) and FL (my DD's CS, visitation was handled there). In GA, when you file for divorce, CS, custody, etc. is decided at that time. In FL, they can seperated out if you show good reason for it.