Isn't 5 years old old enough to know better
SS5 hasn't been in school a week yet and we are getting calls from his teacher. He has been digging in his pants and telling his classmates to smell his booty. SS5 attends a private Christian academy and today they went into the chapel for song and prayer. During prayer SS5 pulled the hair of the little girl next to him and the teacher had to remove him from the room because he was throwing a fit after getting reprimanded.
DH says he is just a boy and doesn't know any better and that is just how little boys act. No that is how little boys act when there parents don't teach them any better. DH got pissed at me for putting SS5 in the corner for 5 minutes for slapping a toy out of my baby's hand. I'm starting to get why some stepparents would rather jump a cliff than claim their step kids in public. If he is acting like that , that is a product of his dad and absent BM because my son will not act like that. SS5 has started up peeing the bed and its been a year of him not doing it so the first time in a year gets written off as an accident. The fifth time is not freaking accident. My idea of fixing the problem is making him scrub his own mattress. DH's idea of fixing the problem is getting up ever night in the middle of the night and walking SS5 to the bathroom.
I know I should disengage but when I do I get even more pissed. Nothing is worse than coming home from a long day of work to someone else's kid running around throwing tantrum after tantrum and watching their parent do nothing about it. I gave DH a choice either get up and parent your son or its just going to be you and your son because your wife and baby should not have to deal with this. I'm tired of hearing more crying coming from a 5 year old than the freaking 9month old are you kidding me.
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Comments
Five is def old enough to
Five is def old enough to know better. Two I can see saying that they are just learning and don't know better.....by three they know right from wrong but sometimes slip up.....by five he's just a jerk kid.
I can honestly say that I haven't had any issues like that since my son was 2......he is 4 now and I haven't had any issues with hitting/pushing/biting type behaviors in years. He has NEVER thought it was appropriate to stick his hands in his ass and tell someone to smell it. He will pee the bed maybe once or twice a month.....we haven't had a real issue with bed wetting in about a year.
I might could see it once but
I might could see it once but then never again, he is old enough to know not to pull a kids hair, his father is just making excuses. I would not put up with it for one second. My son wet the bed till he was 6 or so and I did get up in the middle of the night and make him go to the bathroom. He slept so sound he would pee and never even know it till the next morning. I could get him up and walk him to the bathroom and make him pee and he wouldn't remember it the next morning. That part I could overlook unless it just never stopped or was every night. but the hair pulling, tantrum throwing, butt smelling i would not over look. He needs to be taught some manners and I mean quick.
That behaviour is not great
That behaviour is not great but I don't think it's abnormal for a 5 year old and a sign of impeding delinquency. My nephew that age thinks everything to do with bottoms is hilarious. Boys that age tend to be more physical in the way they react to things and have less impulse control than girls, my 4 and a half year old is a very loving sensitive little boy but will still lash out sometimes when he is angry or upset, like most parenting issues it's how you deal with it that counts. SS's Dad just needs to be consistent in showing that the behaviour is not appropriate. I would see renewed and repeated bed wetting as a sign that something is worrying or upsetting him, I know it's not nice dealing with it but getting annoyed or angry may well just compound the problem, again his Dad should be talking to his son and trying to get to the bottom of it- and doing the laundry!
Don't make the bedwetting a
Don't make the bedwetting a big deal. Just clean it. Don't punish him for it. It maybe that he is in such deep sleep he doesn't feel the urge. Or it could be other things like stress. He's probably not doing it on purpose. That mostly resolves itself.
Are there older kids at bm's teaching him to act out?
Having reread this I notice
Having reread this I notice you say that SS has only been at school for a week. It's unlikely to be a coincidence that his starting school has coincided with renewed bedwetting and a decline in behaviour. When children are stressed and upset they can't explain it so they just act it out. Going to school is a big change in a childs life and merits some sympathy and support. Yes he should go in time out for slapping a toy out of a babies hand, because he needs to learn that that is not acceptable, but you don't make a 5 year old scrub his own mattress because he's upset and has started wetting the bed again, that's way too much, so Dad is right on that one. Taking him to the bathroom at night is a perfectly good approach to getting him past the phase. Dad needs to find out what is bothering his son and be reassuring and consistent. Why did he pull that little girls hair? Did she say something rude or hurtful to him? If someone was mean to my son and then his reaction got addressed but not the behaviour of the child that provoked it he would be pretty angry and upset as well. Is SS feeling insecure because he is out of the house all day and feels the baby is taking his place?