I might lose my brother because I'm tempted to slap a b*tch
My brother brought over his GF and her kids so that we can all go out to dinner with my dad and SM. His GF entered my house wearing a very short romper (a tube top and short set connected) so short that if she lifted and arm or bent over slightly things would be spilling out all over the place. All of her tattoos showing and some of them are really well um lets say tacky. She was wearing these high clear heels. I swear if you didn't know her you would think she was a working girl. I tried to offer her one of my blazers or jacket and give her a heads up that my dad is coming in soon and he doesn't hold back and I don't want her to get insulted or feel uncomfortable. She declined my offer.
My SM and dad walk in and my SM tries to offer her a shoulder scarf because she knows my dad lol. My brothers GF was like " I really don't care what anyone thinks". My dad was like " Where is your dad? I raised my daughter to have self respect and respect for others and since you don't care what people think here is my opinion you look like you just stepped out of a john's car if that is how you wanna look and that's your "style" then ok". My brother was like "dad chill, chill lol. My brother took my dad into the back room and we were left with the GF. My SM apologized if my dad offended her and this b*tch looks at my SM and says" He's just mad he hasn't had a sexy woman in a long time". My SM just said " wow your disrespectful but I wouldn't expect class from you anyhow". I told her if she is going to disrespect her elders she can leave because we don't do that in my house. She goes " Whatever sorry your jealous you haven't lost the baby weight yet". She grabs her kids yelled for my brother and they left.
Go figure my brother takes her side and snaps on us and says how disappointed he is at how rude and unwelcoming we are and that mom never pulled this crap. I'm so mad. You guys don't know How bad I wanted to slap that girl. My brother and my dad never really got along he is a momma's boy and I'm a papa's girl and I feel like now the wedge has been drawn deeper between them. Uggggggh FML.
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Well, your father started it.
Well, your father started it. He didn't have to say that before he was provoked in any way. :?
hmmm...honestly, I agree with
hmmm...honestly, I agree with your brother. Is it right? no. Do I dress like that? No. Do I think from your description she looked like a hooker? Yep. Is it right for anyone to offend another like your father did, without her being rude to them first? No doubt. That is your brother's choice whether you like her or not. It's a shame.
I know my father was out of
I know my father was out of line ( trust me he's always out of line)but that doesn't give her a right to insult my SM and myself especially when my SM was trying to apologize.
Your SM also tried to get her
Your SM also tried to get her to cover up first.
You're forgetting that.
You're mad at the wrong people. And she probably insulted you because you ALSO told her to cover up.
Seriously... the only person who didn't f*ck up here is your DH. :/
Imagine for a second you're the GF, and you go to the "IL's" house and get treated this way. I'm sure you'd fully expect your BF to leave with you.
Thank you Echo.
Thank you Echo.
Why was is wrong for the GF
Why was is wrong for the GF to talk to OP like that in HER OWN HOME, but there was no issue with OP's father being disrespectful to OP's DH in HIS OWN HOME?
This is such a double standard.
"And she probably insulted
"And she probably insulted you because you ALSO told her to cover up. Seriously... the only person who didn't f*ck up here is your DH"
As the home owner, she was well within her rights to insist her guests respect ANY level of modesty she felt appropriate. And while her guest was also within her rights to comply our leave, insulting the people trying to help her was crossing the line.
A male, Muslim friend of mine in college once turned me away at his door because he felt my sweater was too snug. His home, his rules; no name calling required.
Ok, newbie... I'm going to
Ok, newbie... I'm going to say some things and I hope I don't hurt your feelings.
In this blog and the other blog, your FATHER is way, way out of line. How dare he waltz into your home and tell your DH -in his own home- how he should and shouldn't raise his son. Seriously, how dare he! The beauty of being a parent is that you get to raise your child the way you see fit (and you should have a voice, as you're his wife.) However, your father opened his rude, disrespectful mouth and told you DH how wrong he was and how he was raising a "sissy boy." Seriously, if my father had said that to my DH, *I* would have tossed my own father out on his ear and told him he would not disrespect my DH like that. In his own home even!
Your inlaws have said some mighty disrespectful things to you. In your home. And you have (rightly!) been seriously pissed off at both the inlaws for disrespecting you and at your DH for not defending you like you believed he should have done. This is no different. You're actually defending your father's atrocious behavior instead of putting a much needed muzzle on him.
Your brother's GF really didn't do anything wrong. Sure, she's dressed like a 2 bit whore, but she's your brother's 2 bit whore. Your father has no manners and was so outright rude, that I'm disgusted. How DARE he treat a guest in your home like that!! And you're defending him, and want to slap HER?? She said something rude, sure, but not until YOU told her to cover up, SM told her to cover up, and your father ground her into pieces with his nastiness. THEN she smarted off.
Your family loyalties are way off. You expect your in laws to treat you well and get super pissed when they're raging assholes. (Totally understandable.)
However, when YOUR family is a raging asshole, you need to acknowledge that and not defend it.
IMO.
My feelings are not hurt and
My feelings are not hurt and I appreciate your opinion. My SM and I never "told" her to cover up we tried to warn her about my dad and offer her a chance to cover up. If I was her I would have been happy if someone tried to save me from ridicule. My brother and I grew up with the man and my SM married him so we don't get shocked when his mouth opens anymore. I never said I gave my dad a high five either or that I take his side. I'm just saying her comments to my SM and I especially after an apology where rude and I would never talk to anyone that way no matter how made I am.
Secondly if my father had got in DH's face and yelled at him the way FIL did to me I would back my dad up and tell him about himself all he did was state an opinion not tell him how to raise SS.
But I appreciate your feedback and clearly see my dad was in the wrong.
Okay, I'm going to actually
Okay, I'm going to actually side with the parents on this one. Just by wearing what she was wearing she was being disrespectful. I have a dozen friends with tattoos who like to dress on the trampy side. DH has tattoos. All of them have made a point to cover up if my mom was around. She opened herself up by saying she didn't care what the dad thought.
Then, to insult the stepmother and newbie like that?
Well, I'd have slapped some sense into her to say the least! Here's hoping she is just a phase.
Thank you for getting it. I
Thank you for getting it. I never said my dad wasn't disrespectful. I would and have covered up and dressed tastefully when meeting my in-laws and just because my dad insulted her doesn't giver her the right to insult my SM and I.
Come on, don't you think your
Come on, don't you think your brother purposefully chose Skankzilla simply because she WOULD piss his Dad off? How many "nice girls" have brought home a biker, or an older guy, or a hick to make a point to Mommy or Daddy?
Wow. Did you really just say
Wow.
Did you really just say that if a woman dresses like that, she's asking for trouble???
Amazing that the rudeness of the three people before her is somehow overlooked and HER rudeness is the focus. SMH.
Dtzy think you.
Dtzy think you.
Our dad's so need to meet
Our dad's so need to meet lol. My dad puts his jacket over me if I wear spaghetti straps in public. If I walk in front of my dad wearing what she was wearing. You would hear some curse words a thump and I would be limping out of there in my grandma's dress with my dad screaming " I didn't raise no whore".
Dtzy I'm sorry I had no idea.
Dtzy I'm sorry I had no idea. I hope I didn't upset you. If they have beers in heaven my dad will pull up z stool beside yours when he gets up there.
Wow you are one strong mama.
Wow you are one strong mama. I'm sure your papa is looking down with a huge smile and a lot of pride. He wants you to smile and laugh when you think of him.
exactly love4lemons. P.S my
exactly love4lemons. P.S my SM was standing behind me reading your comment and she is still laughing lmao and she says she loves you.
A-men.
A-men.
That's what I think. We grew
That's what I think. We grew up with dad its not like you had no clue of his reaction. You've seen him snap on me for wearing a shirt that shows to much cleavage. Why didn't you warn your GF. I feel like he kinda knew what papa would say and he just wanted something to go down so he could run over to mama and say " papa was mean to my GF" So my mom get pissed and lick his wounds and be all extra nice to him and the GF.
I've know a lot of old time
I've know a lot of old time men with set ideas and just as outspoken as your Papa, Newbie.
They had something to say and they didn't beat around a bush to say it. Isn't anybody else gone to tell you what needs saying, well they will then. 
Rude? Yeah maybe in today's politically correct society, they're a dying breed, but can't say I never had some admiration for their straight shooting ways.
Two very diffeeent
Two very diffeeent generations, your Dad sound like mine. They are at an age that they don't give a shit what they say, if they think it they say it, if it's true and righteous what the hell at their age they have earned to right to say what they want.
GF on the other hand is all about her self. They see all this as their self expresiion of themselves and because they are so stuck on going against the grain, she too doesn't give a shit what people think. Everyone's suppose to just bend to her.
She got what she deserved. But Id like to jab Dad but he's Dad. Not exactly the dream girl he quite imagined for his son I'm sure
Very true. Wise words. I have
Very true. Wise words. I have just gotten use to my dad growing up I guess so nothing he says surprises me anymore.
Um I'm not sure what that
Um I'm not sure what that first line was suppose to mean lol.
I'm with dad, I like his
I'm with dad, I like his style. The "I don't care what others think." mentality is one of the many issues I feel has lead to entitlement. In fact it's just another form of it, what is so complained about this hoochie feels entitled to dress and act like a classless hoochie disrespect 2 women because she was called out for it and expect be treated with respect. Ha I'd of told her to hit bricks.
Dad was out of line. If you
Dad was out of line. If you dress like a hooker, you better believe people are going to talk. I am one not one to judge. However, I would not want to dine with some one that look like a street hooker. Your brother should buy her the movie "PRETTY WOMAN". There is a diffence in being sexy vs. looking cheap.
But he didn't tell her 'what
But he didn't tell her 'what to wear' or that she 'couldn't wear'...he called her out on her total lack of respect and consideration for the home she was visiting and the people she was expecting to go out to dinner with. The GF came dressed as if going to a low class night club. Brother should have addressed the outfit with his GF before bringing her in the door. Brother might like the way GF dresses, GF might not 'care' what other's think about her. That's all fine and dandy. The problem occurs when GF tries to ram her choices and styles down her host/hostess's throats. She wants to dress like that, fine, go out by yourselves and have a great time. But don't disrespect me and come knocking on my door.
What he said was " Where is your dad? I raised my daughter to have self respect and respect for others and since you don't care what people think here is my opinion you look like you just stepped out of a john's car if that is how you wanna look and that's your "style" then ok".
If she wants to show up wearing whatever she pleases with total disregard for her host and the occasion, yep she can. Yep, she did. Obviously she doesn't care what other people think (just as Papa stated) and since she choose to arrive as a guest with no respect for anyone except herself (I can wear what I please where I please and if people don't like it they don't have to look and they better respect me and keep their mouth shut attitude), Papa handed it right back at her.
Would you say nothing if for example (when he gets older as I think he's only like 13) your SS shows up for an evening in your home in like 8 yrs and brings in toll his GF who was dressed such as OP's post and just shrug it off and go on to the restaurant.
Not caring what anyone else will think means, well, not caring what someone thinks of what you're wearing. He told her what he thought and in no uncertain terms. The 'lady' disrespected the entire household. If she can't arrive with some consideration and respect and then gets all up in arms because she was called on her behavior, I'd rather think the she got exactly what she asked for. Respect is a mutual thing. She had none when she walked in that door.
Someone on this board has a
Someone on this board has a saying about religion and penises. Totally applicable here.
Anyone with half a brain
Anyone with half a brain should have some concept of what is appropriate and where.
I wear a bathing suit at the pool. Would I show up in church wearing one? No not even at my church where it's okay to wear shorts and flip flops.
I would not go out to a restaurant in a bathing suit or skimpy halter, etc. Not even McDonald's unless it was drive thru. I know I am old but the best part of my body is my midriff - but that doesn't mean I need to show it off all the time.
If I am going to someone's home I would dress at least as well as if I were going to Denny's.
Your sm didn't deserve the
Your sm didn't deserve the attack, but neither did the gf (from your father). Quite frankly, it's none of your father's business what this adult woman chooses to wear. Nobody can/should try to ram their standards down others' throats. If you or your dad try to do that, you won't be seeing your brother as much.