I came across this website after googling answers on my situation and to see if anybody else out there feels the same as I do. I decided to sign up because I feel like I am losing my mind and I don't feel comfortable talking to anybody about how I feel. What makes my situation unusual is that I am a lesbian involved with a woman who has a son. A son she had with a man. I am not sure when it started bothering me because it didn't always bother me, at first I had no problem what so ever, but I think it is because I was trying to win his approval and also mostly because he would go with his father every other weekend, which allowed us to spend time alone. Forward a year and half later, mom gets a job traveling and after a few months we decide it's time for me to move in. Me not knowing how much traveling this job required never thought it would become an issue. Before moving forward I want to explain a few things about me and my past to maybe help to understand where I stand. My parents divorced when I was in my early teens, growing up my father traveled all the time and was gone most of the time as he worked in the oil industry. Him and my mother managed to conceive 8 kids although they never got along too well. Long story short when they divorced my dad moved to another state and although he was still financially helping my mother she was not able to take care of so many kids on her own therefore he sent for some of us to go live with him. Ultimately, all kids ended up with my father and the eldest including myself basically had to raise the smaller ones while dad left for weeks to work. Point of that is that I felt my childhood was robbed from me and I had to grow up real fast to help out. We are all older now and turned out ok, no resentment there, but just left me feeling like I do not want any kids of my own. Never have considered it and frankly not interested. Not only because being a lesbian does not allow me but because if I really wanted to it would be a hassle. The problem started when she left out of town for work, at first her son was left with relatives because the father lived to far to be able to take to school, but after I moved in, slowly but surely some how the boy started to stay at the house while my partner is out of town most of the week and only here on the weekends. He can fend for himself but he is still a minor (13) leaving me with the responsibility, while I work 10 hour shifts and teach online classes at a university.A responsibility she never admits to because she says it's not like I have to feed him, bath him or do anything. Yet, everything I eat he eats, everywhere I go she wants him to go with me and when he gets sick she wants me to help him. For unknown reason the boy stopped going with his father and has not gone for the past year. In the past year, every day I come home to dirty dishes, my room being used to watch tv, eat in my bed and use my things. After many arguments I cannot even bring up the topic because my partners gets defensive and we just end up fighting. The kid is very sheltered and has no friends, therefore is always home and every where we go, he goes. I feel like I have no privacy and no time alone because when she gets home on the weekends she feels guilty leaving him alone. The father is more than willing to be around and wants to spend time with him but he doesn't have much money and the kid only wants to be taken out and be bought things, so he wont go. The bottom line of my story is that I feel that without ever being asked I became responsible for this kid when my partner leaves and in the weekends when I want to spend time alone, we can't because he is always home and wants to tag along everywhere. He doesn't do good in school and doesn't do anything around the house yet is rewarded every time she around because she feels guilty for not being around. This leaves me in a weird position and lately has me feeling angry at him when she is not around. I have never been mean or done anything to him, but I can't talk to my spouse. I don't know what could be the solution to my situation. He will be an adult soon and I am just hoping the situation will change. Lately, I don't want to do anything anymore because I know we have to take him and the entire time he is on his phone, saying he is bored, and making comments when we try to be affectionate. We use to go out and do things, I have always been fun and adventures but all that has changed and I don't know if I am just not for this and it just took time for me to realize. I though I would get use to it and it would be good thing for me. I feel bad, I want the best for them both and sometimes I feel like I am not that person that they deserve.