So before and over Christmas it was lovely. All the parents and steps other halves and kids went to see Santa. Presents and cards were exchanged. But since January it has all gone down hill and I feel caught in the middle.

I do agree with my DH that his ex has lied about him and has treated him really unfairly. Yet I agree with her that he needs to be more proactive in being involved in the kids lives.

Things had got so bad that courts were talked about but we cannot afford that and she would have her fees paid. So, inorder to restore some calm, she asked if she can talk with me about the kids needs as she admits that her and my DH have a volatile relationship, both are stubborn and both have unresolved issues that they struggle to separate from dealing with the kids.

DH agreed. Yet now is upset. Everything he has wanted to get through court I have achieved with some amicable conversation. He wanted things to be amicable and flexible and that is what he has got. Yet now he is annoyed that he has got it as he feels he should have got it years ago. It is like two kids communicating.

The whole reason the BM asked to talk to me was because she wsa sick of the stress as was I. I certainly havent changed my core feeligns towards her - she has been a nasty woman. But I want to look to the future so that the skids have some normality and stress free lives dealing with their parents. And the stress has been awful and taken over our lives.

This short term breathing space for both of them could work and restore some calm. I dont intend to do this for ever and neither does she. The BM just wants to restore and build some trust on both sides. My DH says he wants this too.

I am far too diplomatic maybe.