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My DH verses My BS...

My3His1's picture

Submitted by My3His1 on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 11:52am

:? My BS age 8 lives with my ex primarly .. My DH & my son do not get along..My DH can not stand my ex & my son is loyal to his daddy 150%....this past july we had to run to where my son lives( 45 min ) away to pick up my son from his sitter after he got out of control ( my son has adhd, OCD, & odd )...he went postal when he heard we were taking him to my house not dads cause dad was at work..he got bloody nose while DH was trying to get him in car ..DH got acused of abuse , jailed ..charges were dropped when it was proved he did not hurt my son & blody nose was issue is frequent problem with my son due to disorder he has...Here is my delima..my son has not been to my home since last july because my DH has not wanted to be around him...I want him to come up for spring break next month but feel torn between DH & my son...has anyone ever dealt with a issue like this....I feel at loss & alone.... Sad

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stepmom31's picture

Submitted by stepmom31 on Thu, 02/03/2011 - 1:14pm

If my stepkids ever falsely accused me of something and had me thrown in jail, I think that I would want to never have anything to do with them again. JAIL is a serious thing and charges, even though they are dropped, actually do stay on your record, and can seriously affect the rest of your life, regarding getting a job, getting a loan, making friends.

My husband would be welcome to interact with his kids, but I certainly would not want to be around them much. A sincere apology and a genuine attempt at reconciliation MIGHT soften my feelings on this a bit, but I would always be taking everything with a grain of salt, trust would be gone, I would not want to be in the presence of the kid without a witness.

Also, if the child was never made to be accountable for his actions by the parents, I would realize that my SO has little respect for me. Making excuses for bad behavior only leads to more bad behavior. As much as I love my DH, I certainly have more respect and love for myself, and would not allow myself to be mistreated in such a manner. Children may be too young to fully understand the consequences of their actions, but they can surely be made to understand it as appropriate to their age.