How to deal with in laws that push their religion on you?
My MIL, StepFIL, SIL and SIL's Spouse are all very religious-non denominational Christians to be exact. Lately they seem to be on some sort of crusade to get us to go to church with them. The thought that they are concerned for our filthy souls (can you feel my sarcasm??) is nice however I've explained to MIL that I do no agree with the ways of their church. I actually used to attend this same church but after witnessing the gross homophobia the pastor exhibits, I stopped attending. I have faith and I do believe in God however I don't believe in hate speech, gay bashing etc. thus I have pulled away from the church and relgion as a whole. Dh and I are both on the same page and are dealing with our faith on our own terms.
Anyway, All said people above continually are asking us to go to church, pushing to take Ss to church (dh and bm both agree that they aren't keen on him attending said church), making hints about our faith, sending text messages about God and it's getting a little aggrivating at this point. The way I see it, my faith is between me and my God. I just don't know what to do at this point. I've talked to MIL already and she knows where we/I stand-we actually almost started arguing because I told her that her pastor is pretty much a hate monger. On top of that she will call and harrass Dh about how she "needs" to take ss to church because it's her responsibility to save his soul. She says if his parents won't do it, she will. It's annoying.
Do any of you deal with this? How did/do you handle it?
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I think Dh is going to have
I think Dh is going to have to lay it out to them that way. At this point he shuts it down right away but now they are sending text messages and yeah we don't have to look at them but I just find it a little rude that they are sending us messages as though we are commiting a crime or something. My faith is none of their business. If I choose to turn to satanism, as long as Im not hurting anyone, I don't think it's anyones business. Dh will just have to follow thru with cutting off access if it doesn't stop.
Wow... That's so funny what
Wow... That's so funny what you told him, sounds like something I would have said!! haha. I don't like the whole "gender roles" that some churches put out, I don't believe women should be kept quiet and in hiding.
Cousin sex isn't considered
Cousin sex isn't considered incest where I'm from. Just saying that where incest starts and stops (for consenting adults, outside of the immediate family) is different in different places. Personally I wouldn't want to (I'm not attracted to my cousins), but it doesn't repulse me either.
I know. That is why I am
I know. That is why I am trying to present to you an alternative idea that it is perfectly ok and no one else's business but the couples. Just like you are trying to tell your FIL that gay sex is perfectly ok and no one else's business but the couples. It is all about being open to new ideas and concepts and where we personally feel repulsed by something we question that repulsion and accept that that is our own short coming and nothing to do with others. That is how we create a tolerate society.
And your FIL thinks that gay
And your FIL thinks that gay sex is disgusting. Who is the better person?
hehe, that made me giggle!
Well thanks a hell of a lot
Well thanks a hell of a lot everyone. Now I have a vision of my cousins having gay sex!
oooh wouldn't that stir the
oooh wouldn't that stir the pot, imagine!
yeah and your mom and dad had
yeah and your mom and dad had sex too. Oh and so did your grandparents.
how old are you? 9?
don't you see how juvenile
don't you see how juvenile your views come across? your only argument against it is that they have the same surname and they look the same? Are those really legitimate arguments to dismiss a loving, adult relationship as gross?
As any couple in the modern
As any couple in the modern world knows they don't have to have children, that is why we have BC. A relationship does not automatically=children. And anyway genetic complications tend to only arise after a series of successive cousin marriages.
Read this.
Read this.
http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~laetoli/degree.html
Do you see where third cousins come? with 1.56% shared genetic material. We share more genetic material with apes than that.
It isn't nonsense it is fact.
It isn't nonsense it is fact. Based on sound research published in peer reviewed scientific journals. Look into it yourself if you are so disgusted by it all.
Whatever your misconceived beliefs about the risks to children of these marriages it doesn't stop the relationship being legitimate. There are many people with genetic conditions that cause them to think carefully before having biological children or to use medical methods to ensure that their children are healthy, regardless of who they have that child with. It doesn't mean that those people don't deserve to be in a relationship.
Someone should tell your BM
Someone should tell your BM that drinking from a flask that one sneaks into church, is not communion.
Bwahahahaaaa!!! The Hot One,
Bwahahahaaaa!!! The Hot One, I love that. haha. MIL would probably kill over if I told her that.
It's ridiculous at this point, you'd think they'd understand by now that they need to butt out. Dh and I will attend church on our own terms.
The only way to deal with
The only way to deal with this may be to break contact with them. I refuse to have any contact with my MIL.. not because of religious stuff but because she's a mean person.
That is so sad to me. I
That is so sad to me. I understand what the bible says about homosexuality HOWEVER I also understand that any decision a person makes is between them and God regardless of what decision that is. It makes me sick to no end how some Christians choose to judge people without any regard that sin is sin and in judging someone for the lifestyle they choose, they are sinning themselves. It doesn't make any sense to me. I don't understand how a mother could do that to their own child. That breaks my heart.
Well, I'm Pagan. I explained
Well, I'm Pagan. I explained to my mother in law (when she was still alive) that she was free to practice her faith, but that infringing on mine will not be tolerated, and that any effort to convert my children to her faith will be considered open hostility. She got it, first try, and never brought it up again.
I think there is a procedure
I think there is a procedure we follow when we decide to believe in something.
First we are sceptical, then we start to believe. It’s implied that we don’t t know for sure, hence the word believe. Once we believe in this that we can’t be sure of and use this we can’t be sure of to guide our lives, it becomes important to constantly reaffirm our belief. Reaffirming to ourselves and others is really the same thing. Almost all religions have a built in, I’m better than everyone who isn’t this, and they just haven’t seen the light yet, the poor bastards!
So in order to reaffirm they must convince everyone, specially if they are a little in doubt.
Telling them that you aren’t interested doesn’t seem to work. Explaining boundaries might work. I think we need to be ok that they condescendingly “accept” our lack of insight that they have, (even though their insight is just something they have convinced themselves of, helped by having it repeated over and over)
i just told my cousin not to preach to me and she put it on me for having asked her to, which I certainly did not.
The only way you're going to
The only way you're going to put a stop to this is to be direct and ask them to stop.
The evangelicals are a cult and they push hard for their members to recruit others to the "flock" to 1. save themselves from the fiery pits of hell and 2. to save others from the fiery pits of hell. I was raised up by these kooks and they teach little children to walk up to strangers and start preaching the gospel and hand out "you're gonna burn in hell" tracts. They also teach evolution is wrong and push for mandated school prayer and promote Republican candidates from the pulpit.
Do they speak in "tongues" and wave their arms around too? That always freaked me out.
They'll respect your wishes but will let you know they are praying for your soul.