BM Tried Everything to get DH to take SS this Mother's Day weekend!
Lately we have been getting SS Friday after work until Sunday night (every weekend)- We have a custody/visitation court date next Monday [FINALLY]to make things more cut and dry as DH and BM were never married and she is causing great difficulty when it comes to visiting times.
Friday DH told BM that our household wasn't feeling well.
Her response was "That's where he caught it from" 1st of all SS has horrible allergies, and didn't catch anything from us, as DH told a little fib and none of us were under the weather so I could have a break this mother's day weekend..
Saturday she actually calls DH instead of texting him with some sob story about her starting a new job on Saturday out near the city where we live(really? you took a job 1.5 hours away from your city?!) and she would have SS stay with her grandma, but her grandma's cancer has come back and that there's no one to watch him blah blah.. So DH says, ok.. well drop him off.. We waited.. and waited.. after hour #3 DH calls her and asks if she's coming or not, her response was "Oh, forget it, I'm not coming"
Sunday,(Mother's Day) BM has SS call DH begging to come to our house, DH tells SS he will get him next weekend, BM calls back immediately after DH hangs up and says that she's coming to the city 5 min away from us and that she didn't know what we had planned today, but does DH want to see SS for a couple of hours and that she can drop him off.. DH says, if you're going to be 5 min. away, just drop him off at our house, She told DH, NO, You will have to come get him.
At this point I am livid and spouted off about how BM just wants to go out tonight and that I'm betting she'll have an excuse of why she can't pick him up later on and DH will either have to miss work Monday or get up super early to drop him off to his mom to watch because she won't come back.. and that I was sure she was just trying to ruin my Mother's Day..
DH took this as me saying "NO YOUR SON CAN NOT COME OVER" Which I have never ever even insinuated in our entire relationship.
He later said to me after giving me the cold shoulder for half the day that it doesn't matter when or why she wants to drop him off, and that we shouldn't be concerned with what she does ever, and that if he's trying to get custody then that's more power for us if she wants to run the streets and sleep around and neglect her kids, I fully understand everything he said, BUT I don't think he should jump every single time she says jump because she wants to dump SS off, she has no regard whatsoever for anyone elses schedule or what they have going on, all that matters is that she wants to get rid of SS as quickly as possible and for as long as he can stay gone.. DH says if she wants us to keep him for a week or a month or however long, that it shouldn't matter, because that's his son and at least we know he's safe at our house- I don't disagree with that, but I still HATE being at her beck and call..
Anyone's thoughts on this????
I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!
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Comments
yepper
Oh ya........our Bm was and is the same. WHen she had custody she would constantly call to get rid of Sd. When we would try to drop off SD when it was BMs time again she would be no where to be found. THis always happened. Now we have full custody and we hardley ever hear from her. Isnt it amazing that these women dont care or love their own children?! I cant get over it!
So at least Iam on her beck and call anymore, then again I never get a break either. But sd is happier and thats a good thing.
Thank you for your input
That's how I feel, I know that SS is a lot happier at our home and safer although he does love his mother and is always excited to go home.
He is so delayed and is definitely a lot of work, It's like babysitting a 2 year old that is realistically almost 5 where my older children are very independent and were never this babyish at this age..I know he's to be pitied, but it's rough..
doglover...my situation is
identical to yurs.....how does a bm, even if she is a POS, go for 6-8 months without talking to her kids...or even calling to see how they r doing?.....how does ANY human being live with themselves and do that???....I think of her as a test tube rather than a mother......mrsparks....I was there....and I must say, being at BM's beck and call was the most frustrating thing for me...I was scum, until she needed someone to watch her kids so she could go drinking.....I hope u get custody of that is what u want....it was the best thing for my skids, and for me!
"Sooner or later, everyone's bill comes due"
I think it is the best thing for SS
He is so behind right now, I think he really needs some stability and a great preschool to get him up to speed if only partially so he can have half of a chance before he starts school. Thankfully he won't be going until he is 6 [next year]because his birthday is in August, so we have about a year to try to make some sort of progress.. Once we have some court orders in place we can get him tested etc, Everything in my life is d*mn near perfect aside from this one HUGE issue looming over my head! We had him for over a week before and she never even picked up the phone and this was even after DH leaving her a message stating that SS wants to talk to her.. How pathetic can you be!
Such a shame
when the biomom doesn't want her own kid on Mother's Day.
That's what I was thinking.. her kids are just a paycheck
As far as she's concerned and a paycheck that's diminishing quickly as her middle child's father lost his job so they significantly reduced his c.s. and BM has been getting child support based on DH working 2 jobs for the last 7 months he's been able to quit the 2nd job but has still been paying the full amount without c.s. being modified, we will revisit this issue in court and let our lawyer handle it..
I understand
that your DH wants to see his son--but BM is jerking you around. How can you plan anything if she calls and then changes plans left and right? That is crazy. The thing about the job sounds like lies to me. Who watched him since she said "forget it"? And then she'll be 5 minutes away but you need to go get him. Can't DH see it? LIES LIES LIES and manipulation. That's why it upsets you.
Exactly- She is known to be a compulsive liar
And he knows this but for some reason yesterday he was overly sensitive on every issue- We knew the "job" and the grandmother having cancer that came back was a crock, as she is constantly coming up with b.s. like that.. she lost her keys, her van is smoking, her tire is flat, she has to go to urgent care for her eyes, for her back, its LIES all the time- I am so SICK OF IT! We have no idea where SS was or if she kept him or not on the "forget it day" I think it's all a big game of manipulation for her, she wants to control the world, she's a classic narcissist with psychopathic tendencies..