You got in trouble? Like a child?

Please start planning your exit (or his exit, or whatever).

My bags would be packed. This isn't something you ever try to understand. It's behavior you show is unacceptable by ending the "relationship."

You said future husband in your last post and that he is bipolar. He is never going to get better and picking on you will be how him and his daughter bond. Take your kid and leave, you don't deserve to be treated like they behave like high school mean girls. 

You need to leave. That's all.

Would you want your bio child sticking around in a relationship like this? Would you encourage/support them to stay with somebody who treated them so horribly?

You say you are in therapy, but have you addressed any of your codependency issues with your counselor? Have you gotten your bio child into counseling to help them cope with they dysfunction they are living in daily?

Why are you afraid to leave? Can we help you in anyway?

This is not healthy. You need to get out. Many of us have left abusive relationships in the past. We know how to do it quickly and quietly. Please let me know what is stopping you and we will see how we can help you.

Oh geez, you have a bio kid? Please get yourself and your bio out of this toxic environment.

Yes.  What they all said.

Wow...just wow.  I won't advise you to leave because I believe there is absolutely no way you are "there" YET.

Get to a therapist ASAP.  If you have one then find another because this one is not helping you at all.  Figure out why you are not strong enough to leave this terribly abusive situation.  

One of your last sentences was that you just don;t ger it.  I believe that you do get it.  You know that he is abusive and crazy.  But something in you is ok with him being this way to you.  Find out why and then get out for your own sanity.  

I agree with everyone whose responded. It's abuse and it sounds like your SD has been trained by BD to be his ally in the abuse.

Is it the kind that just needs a pin pushed into the hole? Go get a damn paperclip and pop open the door! There is no reason for them to lock you out other than to be wrapping a present for you. And, that's the ONLY reason they should ever be behind a locked door without you.

DH used to (and probably will again when the skids are back around) blame me for things or get upset with me for "noticing" or asking about messes and other things with the skids. I was the one flipping out, I was the one being too picky, or whatever excuse he needed to take out his frustrations with his own children on me.

Do not take this shit! Either leave or take them to task for their bad behavior.

SO much no.  Listen I get it's hard. I just got out of an emotionally abusive marriage myself. And even when you NOTICE it, it's hard to actually get out and leave it.

BUt trust me, even though it's a tricky adjustment after, it is going to open sooo many doors for you if you choose to leave.

Regardless of your choice, Feel free to DM me if you need to vent,advice, anything. I know it's hard. You deserve to have someone in your corner.

No. Just, no. It is impossible to understand this behavior because it is abhorrent and irrational. You are being abused by your husband. And he is teaching/encouraging his kid to abuse you too.
 

Please, please talk to your therapist about this TODAY. I know that leaving is hard and scary, but I promise you that being away from this guy will help clear your mind. You need to keep working on yourself, not because there is anything wrong with you, but because you aren't seeing yourself clearly. You deserve so, so much better.
 

If you can break free, you will be shocked at how much more you value yourself in a few weeks. I'm speaking from experience. I didn't even have the slightest clue how low my self-worth was until my DH moved out and I spent a lot of very intense time in therapy. It's one of those situations where you don't even know how much something hurts until the pain is gone, does that make sense? Please do whatever you need to do to get out. And reach out for help here if you need it, because so many of us have been where you are.

You are allowing yourself to be their scapegoat and punching bag.  You cannot change them; you can only change yourself.  Leave all of that drama behind and get on with your life.

What is this? High school? I can't believe they went into a room to talk shit about you... like WTF kind of role modelling is this for your DH to show your SD? I find it atrocious when a parent shit-talks another person with his child. Think about what you are teaching your child, sheesh. 

Your story pains me, Mrs. L. It also causes me great anxiety. I really wish you would see your own value and leave this man. You deserve so much better.